The Insider

Happy New Year!

2011-01-04T16:28:00.003-05:00

Wow.

Can you say long overdue?

2010 became a bit of a crazy, hectic, traumatic year for me....for us as a family. I'm praying that 2011 is much better.

I learned a long time ago that I rarely stick with my "New Years Resolutions" so I'm not really making any. I am setting goals for this year though.

1. Write on my blog regularly.
2. Quit drinking Mt. Dew...for good.
3. Focus on my relationship with my husband.
4. Work on sticking to a budget.

I'm hoping that writing on my blog will give me a release as it used to and allow me to sit back and reflect on life and maybe not focus on the negatives (which I tended to do a lot during 2010). I need this for myself. To look back on in 2, 5, 10 years and laugh and cry as I remember all the little things that seem a distant memory.

By quitting the Dew...again...I'm hoping to work on getting my weight under control. Because I will also be starting my dance class again on Thursday nights. No Mt. Dew + Exercise = Healthier, Skinnier Lisa. Win-Win.

You'll notice that it doesn't say "focus on the kids or family". It says focus on my husband. There's a reason for that. Somewhere along the way, we have lost ourselves as a couple. We get so wrapped up in all the family stuff and parenting and dealing with the schools and a special needs child and bills and laundry and dishes and, and, and.... Well, we've lost who WE are together. As well as who we are individually. We started seeing a therapist and she's really encouraging us to have "date nights" every 3 weeks at least and then some time for ourselves weekly. The key to this is SCHEDULING. We are really trying though. After spending a whole day (blessed be! seriously an entire day with my husband and no kids!) it was easier to remember why we got married and love each other.

Ahhh, the elusive budget. I've tried setting budgets in the past...however, it was MY budget and not a family budget. Now, Chuck and I are going to work together to accomplish this and set some goals so that we can not be flying by the seat of our pants all the time.

So there you have it. Those are my goals. Somewhere in there fits the kids, chores, school, Pure Romance, friends, work and sleep. But I feel that I'll have a partner this year.

A Mother's Life Changing Prayer

2010-07-15T15:33:00.002-04:00

Dear Lord,

Please give me the strength to face every challenge, the peach I need to hear Your voice and patience when I feel angry or stressed. Help me be kind and caring to those around me. Let me be an example of Your grace and love to my family. Help me to not raise my voice, but to raise my children to serve and love You. Fill my life and my home with Your joy. Amen

Life is a test, right?

2010-06-10T16:51:00.005-04:00

Do you ever feel like you're drowning?

You hear about drowning in water.

Drowning in debt.

Drowning in alcohol.

Drowning in sadness.

Look it up on google...there tons of opportunities and ways to "drown".

It's so cliche to say it but that's how I feel today. I feel like I'm drowning in life.

Mentally, physically, emotionally-I'm just exhausted.

I'm glad that school is over. I'm glad that soccer is over (even though now baseball for Zachary has started.) I'm glad that this weekend is Gizzard Fest where I'm having a Pure Romance booth because that means that the planning and prepping for it will be done.

I need a mental health day from work. Problem is I just don't have the time to take it...seems like everyone else's needs come before mine. I guess that's what being a mom is all about, right? I know that there are people in my life who feel that I don't do enough. I'm not home enough. I'm not motherly enough. I'm just not....enough of anything.

That weighs heavily on me too. Because as a mom and wife and daughter and friend and consultant and a human, I want to be. But I feel like I'm burning both ends of the candle and in doing so am not good enough at anything.

Shoot, my brain is like swiss cheese!!! Last night I forgot the simplest task of getting garbage bags from the store. The day before? Forgot about the retirement party for the kids' principal. The day before that? Forgot to give the dog medicine for his skin allergies. Do you see a pattern? The list goes on.....day after day I don't seem to have the time to get it all done, the energy to do it nor the memory to be able to remember all the minor things that I need to take care of. And then I feel like a failure for not being able to accomplish the deeds that I *should* be doing and need to be doing.

And to think...."experts" keep saying to take time for yourself. I read the articles and I think "when?" There's always one more load of laundry to do. One more phone call to make or email to send. One more contact to make in order to work my business. I can't even think straight let alone try to schedule in time for me. I used to find the morning shower as "me" time where I would think and contemplate....and lately all I can do in the shower is run through all the things that I have to do that day...in between ~~yelling~~ asking the kids to keep it down so their sister can sleep in.

Last weekend (pics have to be uploaded) the kids ran the Michigan Mile. Zachary wasn't happy with his time and wants to improve. I told him that I think it's wonderful and I'd love to help him towards that goal as I need to get more fit and active too. So we're going to train together and I'll work on the Couch to 5k program. Problem is.......when?
So, as a working mom, how do you fit everything into a 24 hour period and still keep your sanity and the days straight and all the bills paid on time and the kids and husband happy? Then how do you fit in YOU time? I'm interested in possibilities because I'm obviously not there....

Until tomorrow-Keep on buzzing,

Lisa

Pure Romance and Therapy collide!

2010-06-09T17:06:00.004-04:00

Last week, I received a call from a physical therapist for a therapy center here in the greater Lansing area who deals with physical therapy to help with bladder control. A friend of a friend attends this therapy center and they got talking during their session (probably trying to keep the clients mind off the pain of the therapy!) and Pure Romance came up.

I'm so excited that it did!! This therapist recommends to her patients the use of vibrators, ben wa balls and similar toys to help strenghthen the vaginal walls which in turn also helps with the strength of the bladder. Therefore, increasing the ability to control the bladder.

Why?

Well because the bladder and the vagina are located in basically one and the same space. Stregnthen one and the other benefits as well. Due to child birth, menopause, age or other medical reasons, often times a woman's bladder muscles and vaginal muscles become loose. The old adage of "if you don't use it, you lose it" holds true. If you aren't exercising those muscles, the muscles will stop working for you and doing what you need them to do.

I know. After having 3 children, I can't cough, laugh hard, sneeze or turn the wrong way without the worry of bladder problems and therefore am constantly crossing my legs. And regardless of how funny my husband and children think it is that mom pees her pants....it's embarrassing!! I will be the first one to admit that I've tried to do the Kegel exercises that are highly recommended and effective and while I'll start out doing them well, I'll get side-tracked and forget that I was supposed to be working those muscles. That's where the ben wa balls come in so handy! These small balls are inserted inside you, and with some instruction, help you to do the Kegel exercises the correct way and remind you that you need to continue working on those exercises!

However, often times women feel uncomfortable going into the all too often seedy, trashy, men-frequented adult stores where they'd be leered at (I know....) and would love to have an opportunity to talk with a woman in the comfort of their own home who knows about the health benefits, as well as the fun benefits, to our products!

So, tonight, I'm going to meet the said therapist and take her some information regarding Pure Romance products that may be of interest to their clientele in particular: Fresh Start, Ben Wa Balls, Vaginal Dialaters as well as the full line of vibrators and toys. Pure Romance by Lisa catalogs and information will be included in their client informational guide that is available to all clients in the office.

I feel so privelaged. THIS is one of the reasons I love Pure Romance and I love doing it. I enjoy helping woman. Empowering them to take control of their own body, learn and know their own body in a safe, comfortable, one on one way. It makes my heart soar to know that I may help some of these woman get control of their bodies back.

Until tomorrow-keep on buzzing!

Lisa

My Husband Rocks: MHR Friday

2010-06-04T20:08:00.003-04:00

I feel its far past the time to revive the MHR Friday post.

What is MHR? Well, its a post every Friday where you delve into why your husband ROCKS...whether it's a list of things that he's done that week, something special he's done lately, or just a general post of why he rocks your socks...but a post non-the-less all about the most important man in your life so he knows how much you appreciate him.

Because honestly, in my house, I know I don't say those three words enough. No...not I love you. I do say that. But "I appreciate you."

And right now...I appreciate what a great dad Chuck is. I know sometimes being a parent to a special/high needs child can be tough....but Chuck does a great job with it. He's so hands on and attends all the IEP meetings, goes to the school to deal with the suspensions, talks to the teacher/aide daily as well as does fun things like taking Zachary fishing (which is what he's doing while I'm typing this now....) or Lucas skateboarding on his new skateboard.

I appreciate the fact that he cooked dinner every night this week...except for the night he took Zachary to baseball. And not just macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. Pork curry with homemade curry sauce. Steak and chicken on the grill with fiesta vegetables. Spaghetti with garlic toast.

Doing dishes and keeping them up on a nightly basis. I hate HATE the dishes....with a passion. therefore I really appreciate Chuck for doing this particular chore!

I appreciate that he hasn't yelled and screamed at me for messing things up this week. Enough said.

This week is over...but the weekend is just starting and I'm really looking forward to another weekend at home with my loving husband and awesome children.

So until tomorrow-keep on buzzing!

Lisa

IEP, EI, BP, Oh My!

2010-06-03T23:10:00.001-04:00

Today was the last IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting with Zachary’s “team” for the school year. (Zachary is classified as EI, emotionally impaired, for his ADHD and bipolar)

I’m relieved that this year is OVER. It has been an absolutely HORRIBLE year.

Let’s recap just a bit: He was kicked out of school numerous times for throwing his desk over, pushing his teacher, and finally pushing over a bookcase.

That was the last straw for us and we had him moved permanently in May-full day to the special ed classroom where he stayed with his full time aide and had one on one instruction with her based on what his teacher was teaching in the classroom (since he’s actually at/above grade level in all subjects).

While he still was obstinate and refusing to do work, at least he was no longer a physical threat and didn’t even try to be a physical threat.

Why? My perception (and as my husband always reminds me perception defines reality) is that he was in a constant power struggle with his teacher and his first aide. There was no trust there from Zachary…he didn’t feel that they were on his side.

And its no wonder. His first aide was down right confrontational with him and us. Told me that she doesn’t argue with him…right after she told me that she ripped the pencil from his hand (after repeatedly being told that showing a sign of aggression like this will only escalate the situation) and when he balked at it and said “hey you can’t do that!” she said “I can, I will, and I just did.” Um, yea. Way to get into a pissing match with a 7 year old.

His teacher yesterday said that she would sneak up behind him and when he was least expecting it, rip the pencil from his hand.

Does anyone see a pattern?

Seriously, I understand that my child is difficult. TRUST ME, I understand this I’ve lived with him for 8 years now, but really?

I’m so glad that the special ed department is finally, fully involved. They’ve called out the teacher and the aide for not following the behavioral plan (BP) set forth. I wanted to cry for joy. Finally!!

And today, I got to meet his 3rd grade teacher…and right off the bat, she had an AWESOME idea!!! I wanted to jump for joy. An idea! All her own that made perfect sense and would truly help! She’s a younger teacher (no offense to the older teachers) but I’m really hoping that this means that maybe she’ll be a little more open and accepting to trying new things, doing things maybe not in the “norm” and not telling us every step of the way that “it’s not feasible in her classroom.”

So as it stands now, Zachary will go to his 3rd grade classroom for announcements and Pledge of Allegiance, then go to the resource room with his aide for English/Language Arts and Math…both of which he’s very proficient at but which they open the room up during and make it into one HUGE room with the other 3rd grade class….and 50 kids in one classroom? Wow. Way too overstimulating. Then he’ll go back to 3rd grade for lunch and the afternoon subjects of science and social studies.

I’m hopeful for next year.

But then again I always am.

A quick funny before I sign off…

Zachary was reading a Hardy Boys book to me tonight before bedtime. They were talking about finding a scalp. I asked Zachary if he knew what a scalp was. He responded: “Yep! It’s the head from here (indicated the mid forehead) back with the hair. But I wonder how they get it off….do they use a potato peeler or a knife?”

I chuckled. He said “What? I’m serious!”

Until tomorrow-Keep on Buzzing!

Lisa

Fried Green Tomatoes & Hump Day Help!

2010-06-02T22:19:00.002-04:00

So today is Hump Day. I love hump day. Hump is just a super fun word to say. And it reminds me of one of my favorite things in the world.

I always start off my Pure Romance parties by introducing myself and letting them know that I started with Pure Romance to have fun and to talk about my favorite thing in the world which is sex. One of my rules for the evening is for them to have fun as well….and not just here for the evening, but also my goal is for them to learn something new, exciting and interesting and buy something to take home and have fun there too!

So hump day is the perfect day to talk about sex. Now, what exactly does sex have to do with Fried Green Tomatoes? Nothing, necessarily with the food…but actually a lot to do with the movie. There is an underlying tone in the movie that has to do with Evelyn (played by Kathy Bates) trying to spice up her relationship and romance before realizing that she has to be happy with herself and know herself before she can truly be happy in her relationship. (At least that’s the gist I get from the movie…and since this is my blog…that’s what matters.)

I was watching Fried Green Tomatoes last night, enjoying the scene where she goes to the “Relationship Seminar” with her good friend and the facilitator tells them that they are going to learn how to put the spark and the romance back into their marriage. Evelyn sits there for the entire class and visualizes herself making a dress out of clear plastic wrap and meeting her husband at the door in just that and nothing else.

Evelyn was on the right track in my book! What man wouldn’t want to see their wife in something scanty and kinda see through that they can rip off and have no worries about how much it cost? One of the new products that Pure Romance just came out with is called “Tie Me Up” tape…yes, I know it sounds kinky and if you’re into that kind of thing, this is definitely for you! However, it’s got multiple purposes!!! Imagine using this tape that sticks to itself to make a dress or bra and panties or anything that your mind can imagine to dress up in? Maybe a little choker collar and wristlets? Meet your husband at the door or be laying out on the bed for him after he gets out of the shower after a long hard day of work….again, $12 worth of fun that he can rip off of you in an animalistic nature when the time is right and not worry about the cost of the clothing ;) Win-win situation!

Later on in the movie she goes to another seminar where they all lay around and look at their own vaginas in a mirror. While I wouldn’t actually advocate doing this in a crowded room with your friends…I could say there may be some merit in doing this. I always advocate that women must know their own bodies and know how to really work their bodies so they can tell their spouses how to make that sometimes elusive O happen…or maybe just more explosive!! There is a fantastic book out there called “Tickle your Fancy” and it details all the female erogenous zones and not just where they are at but how to best make them work for you!! Again, while I don’t necessarily think that reading this book and trying out the positions with 15 of your best friends in the room is really the way you should go (but if you want to, then by all means!) maybe reading the book and trying them out with your husband or significant other may very well make you start singing it’s praises as well!

To new beginnings

2010-06-01T21:11:00.004-04:00

So I have committed to blogging every day during the month of June through the use of NaBloPoMo (you know....National Blog Posting Month!) Anyone who has been reading my blog from the beginning may remember that I did this for a couple of Novembers and actually accomplished it once...it seems so long ago now. Well before the addition of the third child, school for 2 children, after-school activities and sports, my Pure Romance business and all the added chaos that comes with all of those things. However, I'm really wanting to get back into blogging to be able to look back on the funny things my kids have done or said, remind myself that I'm married to a wonderful guy (for those maybe not-so-wonderful days) and maybe help some readers with sex tips and relationship ideas that occassionally spew forth. Oh, and maybe through my blogging someone, somewhere may feel not quite so alone in the battle against IEP's, schools, children with bipolar and ADHD and the constant fights that ensue with everyone regarding all of it.

NaBloPoMo may just be the kick in the ass that I need to get that motivation up again.

It's funny that I opened my email this morning to the email stating that this month's NaBloPoMo's theme is NOW after this weekend when blogging was on my mind several times. There was so many opportunities for me to say..."I so need to write that down because I know I'll forget it in a few months let alone a few years!" And some of the things that my kids are coming out with lately are definitely things that need to be brought up at their high school graduation open house....or at least used as black mail to get my way for a change when they are older.

So, as I get ready to go to bed (I was up early this morning!) I'll end it with one such saying.

Last night, we went to dinner as it was raining, we'd worked on the house for the better part of the day and was just plain pooped out. As we're sitting at the table, Elizabeth looked across the table and said out of the blue "I like you Zachary!" <3>

I told her that was very nice of her to say!

She then quickly followed up that statement with "I'm gonna bonk you on the head and put you in a hole."

Um, yea. I'm blaming Spongebob for that one ;)

Until tomorrow...Keep on buzzing!

Lisa

Good Bye Grandma

2010-04-18T11:59:00.003-04:00

Last night I spent the evening at a place that I had hoped I wouldn’t be at for a long time.

But on February 24, when I found out that my Grandma had brain cancer and was given 30-60 days to live, I knew I’d be at the funeral home soon.

Thursday evening my Grandma B passed away; gently and peacefully into her forever life where the pain from the cancers and the confusion from the dementia will haunt her no longer.
At the funeral home, they had slips of papers about 4 x 5 where they asked friends and family to share memories of my Grandma. My nephews were diligently writing their memories of their Great Grandma and I picked up one to start writing my memories as well…and then realized that my memories of the 33 years with my Grandma could never fit on a paper that small.

In fact, they may not fit on a whole page as my heart is filled with memories of spending time at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

One of my earliest memories of Grandma is sharing her “special water” with me. I had to have been the age of my oldest son now…that’s how long ago this was. Grandma’s special water was like water sent from the heavens themselves. It was sooo good…certainly better than the water in Swartz Creek. I went home and spent weeks, literally, trying to find out the special recipe for Grandma’s water because I was sure there was something in it. I tried plain water, sugar, vanilla and salt amidst other combinations and could never find the Grandma’s water! It wasn’t until much later in life when we were talking about that incident one evening that Grandma laughingly revealed her water was Peppermint Schnapps and water!! Needless to say, we had some on the spot.

Growing up, we spent a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. And Halloween was no exception. After we went trick-or-treating to all the neighbors in about a 10 block radius and waited on the sidewalk for my mom to finish chatting with every. single. one. of the neighbors, we would pile in the car to head out to the next town to see Grandma and Grandpa. They lived in a tiny little house….barely bigger than my very first apartment. My Grandpa (Square Wheels) would inevitably be on the c.b. squawking about this or that and Grandma (aka Swedish Ivy) would meet us in the kitchen with our Halloween baggies. Those are what I remember the most. They were regular brown paper lunch saks, but to me as a kid they held the sustenance of life. She would always have it rolled down twice and there would be grease marks on the outside. It was the same goodies every single year. I looked forward to Grandma’s treat bags knowing that some of my favorites would be in there. There was 2 cupcakes with orange frosting and some type of Halloween decoration…a spider ring, witch stick, or some type of poker that my brothers and I would later get in trouble with as we poked each other with the pointy end. A handful of each: Mary Janes, Bit o’ Honey, and Halloween foil wrapped chocolate candies. Still, to this day, I love me some Bit O’Honey. Every time I see those little candies, I’m reminded of my Grandma and Grandpa’s house on Halloween and those grease marked brown lunch bags. I remember thinking how much Grandma must love us to make us such treat bags and not just give us the traditional tiny candy bar.

Then there were the weekends out at the lake when Grandma and Grandpa had the trailer out there. Grandpa would take me fishing and we’d bring the blue gills home to Grandma. It was there that she taught me to scale and clean out fish…and cook fresh fish so that I’d actually eat them! I always knew when we were at Grandma and Grandpa’s trailer from the sign that said “If you see the trailer rockin…Don’t bother knockin!”

Then there are little things that were just *Grandma* like:

Her deep love of the color purple.

How much she enjoyed her flowers and the birds. Grandma had a bird clock that would chirp every hour on the hour with a different bird call. She loved the birds and that clock. I’m lucky enough to have that in my living room now…and every time I hear it, I think of her.

Her jewelry and rings that were always coordinated with whatever it was that she was wearing.

How much she loved Grandpa.

The polka!!! Oh how she loved to polka. I remember dancing the polka with her more times than I can count.

Blueberry Pie. Her and I shared a love of blueberry pie and she’d always make one for me during holidays.

Oyster Stew. It was a New Years eve tradition to have oyster stew. Grandma would make it and Grandma, Grandpa, Dad and I would enjoy. (The rest of the family would eat frozen pizza!)

Her giggle and how her eyes would light up when she laughed. And when my brothers and I really got her laughing, how she’d laugh so hard that she’d cry.

Her wet kisses. I’m sure my brothers and cousin will totally agree with me that Grandma’s kisses were of the wet and smacking variety. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

How when Chuck would tease her, she’d jut out her bottom jaw and narrow her eyes at him…till she realized he was teasing her when she’d laugh and say “ooooh you!”

Leaning down to kiss her great grandkids. She loved to cuddle them as infants and as toddlers she’d lean down to kiss them and recently with the older great-grandkids she was almost eye to eye with them!

So as I say good-bye to my Grandma, and others say good bye to their Mama, sister, aunt, cousin or friend, I am reminded that our memories will live on forever of her.

Rest in peace, Grandma. You will be missed.

Time keeps on rolling.....

2010-03-31T16:37:00.002-04:00

First of, I should probably apologize. Not that I have any readers left, but maybe someone still might check in. It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. There’s definitely been times in the last 2 months that I’ve seen something that made me say “oh! I need to blog that!” but time seems to get away from me much quicker now than ever before. Plus, I think the lexapro has been a huge help in me being a calmer, gentler Lisa with less to bitch about.

However, I’ve not taken my lexapro for a couple weeks now. Not because I don’t have it. Not because I don’t still NEED it. But you’ve probably heard the story before about people stopping their meds because they feel so much better? Yea, well……

But today for some reason, things are getting emotional for me. I feel like a huge ball of emotions and at any moment I’m going to start crying. Probably my damn period coming on (sorry, TMI) but it usually does it to me.

So what’s happening that’s causing this sadness? Well, where should I start?

Four weeks ago, my grandma was diagnosed with brain cancer…the most aggressive type of brain cancer too. So, after going to the hospital with a suspected stroke, we found out about the brain cancer and the fact she had 30-60 days of life left. Even though I’m not really close to this grandma, the idea of losing my grandma has taken me a bit aback. I do love her and have very fond memories of her home as a child and special things she did for us (i.e. Halloween Treat bags!) Now 30 days has gone by and I went to visit her on Sunday and had to hold myself in check the entire time I was there so as not to burst out in tears. My grandma is already gone. Sure, her body is there. The shell of the person she used to be but she’s gone. What’s left is someone who resembles an old person with the mind of an infant. She has to be fed, changed, cannot speak or struggles desperately to speak and when she can’t she becomes so extremely frustrated. I do believe that somewhere in her brain that’s not affected by the tumor she remembers what things *should* be like and that makes it even sadder for me. I do hope that the good Lord finds in his heart to allow her to slip away peacefully in her sleep soon before pain sets in as well as this loss of person.

And then Easter is on Sunday. My mom and dad are spending Easter with my Grandma, aunt and uncles. But, the general consensus is that Grandma cannot handle having all the grandkids around nor do the kids really need to see her in that state…allowing them to remember Great Grandma as she was. We aren’t visiting Chuck’s family either. And our friends that were visiting for dinner are no longer. So for the first time in my life, literally, we have no place to go for Easter but our own home. I’m saddened by this; especially after spending Christmas without family as well since Chuck, Elizabeth and myself were very sick for all of Christmas break. I feel let down…but maybe I can find some fun things to do with the kids to make this Easter a memorable one for them.

Lastly, Parent Teacher conferences were last night at school. Lucas is “simply enjoyable and easily the student at the top of the class!” and is reading and sounding out words like nobody’s business and has 58 out of 25 sight words already memorized. I’m so proud of him.

Zachary, on the other hand, is a different story. Problem is his teacher and Chuck and I have different reasons on why we believe he’s having difficulties. OUR assertion is that a) he’s either not understanding what is being required of him or b) the process of getting something from his brain to the paper in writing assignments is not working. His teacher; however, feels that Zachary is not trying and being stubborn and obstinate that “goes beyond his mood disorder”. WE tried to explain to her the difficulties in writing and how it can be difficult but she’ll have none of it.

So, it saddens me that someone so bright is being given up on as a lost cause (by his teacher only!) because he’s “not trying” vs maybe finding some new way to break into his world and help him to understand or learn a new way to write. Luckily, the special ed resource teacher seems to be more understanding. I’m glad that she’s getting involved as well…it’s about time.

I will end in a positive note though! I’m trying to turn a new leaf and find the positives as well J My Pure Romance business is taking off leaps and bounds and just this month I earned enough profit to buy the family a wall mount flat screen t.v. It’s WONDERFUL. And I can’t wait until this weekend when we mount it and gain some room in our living room!

I’m making a commitment to blogging again. As I’m trying to get Zachary to journal nightly, I’ll take the time to journal with him. Practice what you preach….plus I’m sure he’ll love looking back on my thoughts and journals when he gets older as I love reviewing my grandma’s things….

So until then....Keep on buzzing….

Lisa

Halloween? Who Cares! It's almost Christmas!!

2009-10-29T21:16:00.004-04:00

We have a very interesting little family. Chuck's favorite holiday is Halloween. Hands down. Granted, he hasn't been much in the ghoulish spirit this year, but typically that's not the case.

On our way to dinner tonight (just seemed easiest at the time) he was expounding on how he's not in the Halloween-y mood when Zachary pipes up.

This is a true transcript (well, as good as my memory allows) of what was said in our car tonight:

Zachary: I like Halloween too. But I think it's my 2nd favorite holiday. My first favorite holiday, the holiday that I love more than anything is Christmas. And the reason I love Christmas is...well, maybe not more than anything because I love you two and my brother and sister and all my friends that aren't friends and my family more. Well, maybe I love Christmas as much as you two and my brother and sister.

Me: Wait. What are friends that aren't friends?

Zachary: The people at school that don't really play with me. I love Christmas because...yea, I think maybe I love you all the same as Christmas and then Halloween is second.

Me: Zachary, why do you love Christmas so much? (trying desperately to get him on track)

Zachary: Because it's a holiday about giving and love and caring about people and happiness and sharing and loving and all kinds of happy things.

Me: Zachary, you are an amazing child and you totally understand the meaning of Christmas more than people that are 4 times your age. You have it right on.
Then from the very back of the car, there's this little voice:

Lucas: I love Christmas too. I love it probably eleven times more than people. You know why I love Christmas?

Me: Why, Luke?

Lucas: Because I get presents!!

And thus illustrates the difference, once again, between my two boys.

Goodnight My Angel

2009-10-22T16:20:00.003-04:00

Dear Elizabeth,

It’s not any special day. It’s not the day I found out we were pregnant with you. It’s not the day we found out we were having a girl. It’s not your birthday or even your half birthday. It’s just a regular, every other type of day.

But with you, it’s not ever just a regular day. You are like a bright ray of sunshine in our lives. As I laid down to sleep with you the other night I realized just how different (not better, just different) it is having a little girl in our family. We laid together in the very same bed that I laid in as a little girl and read books together and laughed and giggled and smiled. I was so very content and happy that I would have a daughter to share the very special bond that I have with my own mom.

I giggled as you played the “kissing game” and would point to a place on my face that should be kissed and say “naaah”, point to the next—“naah”, point to the next place and say “YES!” and kiss me. It was so sweet and….perfect.

When you play the “how much does mommy love me” game, I act very upset when you put your hands only inches apart saying “this much?” and tell you “oh no, more than that!” You move your hands a little bit further apart to which I reply “nope, more”. You finally move your arms outstretched all the way, wiggling your little fingers and say “THIS MUCH?” to which I get to reply “from fingertip to fingertip, that’s how much I love you.” And what a more perfect time than when our arms are fully outstretched to give hugs.

I love reading with you every night before bed. I love how you have your favorite book...recently it's been "Looking for a Moose" and how everytime you'd find a moose on the page, you'd get so excited and scream out. It's wonderful how after I read to you, you must read for yourself and are able to describe every page in detail of what it says. These are the nights I will hold in my heart forever.

You are a very special little girl to all those around you. You are bright, funny, and beautiful. I’m so happy to call you my daughter and look forward to the nights when I get to put you to bed and have more kissing and mommy loves me games.

Goodnight, My Angel.

My ADHD Child

2009-10-14T15:36:00.002-04:00

Well, one month (just a little more) into the school year and the fights have begun to make them see just how important the little things are with Zachary. That letting us know he's daydreaming a lot is important so we can discuss with the dr. and possibly readjust his meds. How hiding under the desk and refusing to do work is not acceptable and there IS a way to handle it...IF they would just let us know it's happening. I'm feeling as if the last month has been a lie. We've been lead to believe that his days are going well...and nothing out of the ordinary for a 2nd grader has happened until last Wednesday when he pushed his teacher and got kicked out of school for a day and a half. The teacher also stated how "if this were on the street, I'd call the police for assault." Good to know the teacher, aide, school understand bipolar rages.

And so the fight rages on. I know I'll never never be able to quit being an advocate for my child. I just wish sometimes that they wanted to learn how to make it easier for him and be willing to accomodate his special needs....like giving a 5 minute warning and sending home daily behavioral sheets. Both of which are in his IEP. Both of which are being completely ignored by his teacher.

I was going through my files on my hard drive looking for something when I came across this. I read through it again as my eyes filled with tears...it really does sum things up so well.

My A.D.H.D Child
By Tracey Nicolaus

He's bouncing’ off walls, a superball gone insane.
He runs through your world like an off-rail freight train.
Interruptions are constant, tantrums galore,
When it's time to do homework, he's gone out the door.

The drama is constant, oh his foot fell asleep.
He moans and he wails, the theatrics run deep.
School is a nightmare, the teachers are lost.
If they only could see, he is worth the cost.

He is brighter than most, as most these kids are.
And with patience and love, I know he'll go far.
But the crap I must take from "well meaning friends"
"Don't let him do that." "Oh these rules that he bends."

"You're not a good parent." "Your child's really rude."
"His temper's outrageous." "He has hands in his food."
He hears this and wonders, just what's wrong with me?
I tell him "You're special, you have A.D.H.D."

"Now A.D.H.D. is a gift from above."
"It teaches us grown-ups how to strengthen our love."
"It helps teach your teachers, no two kids are the same."
"You have awesome energy that could bring you great fame.'

"You don't need much sleep, you never wear down."
"You're silly and funny, when you act like a clown."
"You've felt lots of pain from what people have said,
But you pray for those people when you go to bed."

"So you try every day to make a fresh start."
"For God gifted you with an extra big heart."
As I look at my child, he sees through my soul.
My heart feels like bursting, as I realize my goal.

I know this young boy like no one else could,
He's a blessing to me, he's strong and he's good.
So I’ll love him and guide him through the worst of the worst
And he'll make a great man (if I don’t kill him first).

I'm kidding of course 'cause I know what's to be
When I look in his eyes, I see a reflection of me.

Mom's Worry...but like this?

2009-10-07T11:48:00.002-04:00

As a mother, you start worrying about your children the instant they are born. At least it’s been like that for me.

Why isn’t he crying more? Is he crying too much? Is he eating enough? Is he eating too much? Is he making all his “milestones”?

As they get to be toddlers you worry about them running away from you in the grocery store or the parking lot or running into the road and getting smooshed flat like a pancake. Falling down the stairs or tripping and splitting their head open.

As your children get older and move into the next phase of their young lives, you worry if they are going to do well in school. If the other kids are going to like them. If the teacher is going to like them or if she/he will think you’ve done a lousy job as parents.

Never in all my years, would I ever have thought that’d I’d be worrying about my 7 year old attempting suicide.

But I am.

I do.

This is not something I regularly discuss. Probably my own ideas that if I don’t talk about it…I don’t vocalize it…it’s not really true. I can push it to the dark recesses of my mind until something makes it come slamming back to the front of my brain again. That happened this weekend. Sometimes, I wish that others could see the outbursts that we are subjected to in the hopes that maybe they’ll understand our use of medications, therapy, counseling and weird routines and rules. Maybe they wouldn’t think that we are psychotic parents who need to let a kid be a kid.

Because if they saw a 7 year old rummage through the kitchen drawers, looking for something and finally settling on a steak knife before raising it in his hand to try to bring it slamming down into his chest, people might begin to understand the terror and despair that we live through as parents to a child inflicted with mood disorders.

Now, of course, he didn’t slam that knife into his chest. We had him restrained and the knife away instantly but what if next time we’re not there? What if as he grows older he begins to get smarter and understand that we are ALWAYS going to stop him because we love him so much and he starts to attempt these things in private?

This whole thing started because he was asked to do a simple chore…bring his laundry bin into the kitchen so I could wash the clothes. What it turned into was a tantrum for over an hour in which I had to restrain him 2 times to keep him from punching and kicking me, a broken necklace, a broken broom that he took his anger out on, and an attempt to stab himself all the while screaming how much we must hate him and it’d be so much easier to be dead and how he wishes he could just kill himself.

Finally, Chuck was able to get through to him and calm him down. What started in tears, ended in tears but of a much different kind. When they came back inside from the back deck, Zachary’s eyes were red rimmed and puffy. A tell-tale sign that he’d been crying hard. He hugged me hard and apologized for breaking my sapphire necklace and not listening and how incredibly sorry he was to have hurt us. I, of course, cry too.

And the cycle continues. Tantrum, threats, violence followed by great amounts of remorse. I do feel hope though for the future, because he does feel that remorse. Once he’s calmed down, he understands that his actions were not appropriate. I just wish that we could get to the point of understanding this before the actions occur.

October is supposed to be the beginning of the rough times for people with mood disorders as the days start getting much shorter and lack of light affects the serotonin and blah, blah, blah. Once again, we’re seeing this phenomenon happen. Every summer, I lull myself into believing that maybe we’re turning the corner with his behavior to just be kicked in the gut in October. You’d think one day I’d learn.

I’ll never learn to not worry though.

Halloween Memories

2009-10-05T12:41:00.003-04:00

When I was little, I loved Halloween. Still do actually.

It’s funny, though, the things that you remember about your time as a child. You would think that you’d remember the costumes or going out trick-or-treating with your friends. But the times I remember the most were going and visiting my Grandma and Grandpa in the town next to ours.

It wasn’t uncommon for us to see Grandma and Grandpa; in fact, we saw them at least once a week. But after we went trick-or-treating to all the neighbors in about a 10 block radius and waited on the sidewalk for my mom to finish chatting with every. single. one. of the neighbors, we would pile in the car to go see my Grandma on the farm and then after we’d get our full size candy bars from her (score!) we’d head out to the next town to see Grandma and Grandpa.

They lived in a tiny little house….barely bigger than my very first apartment. Actually, my apartment might have just been bigger than their house. My Grandpa would almost inevitably be on the c.b. squawking about this or that and Grandma would meet us in the kitchen with our Halloween baggies.

Those are what I remember the most. They were regular brown paper lunch saks, but to me as a kid they held the sustenance of life. She would always have it rolled down twice and there would be grease marks on the outside. It was the same goodies every single year. I looked forward to Grandma’s treat bags knowing that some of my favorites would be in there.

There was 2 cupcakes with orange frosting and some type of Halloween decoration…a spider ring, witch stick, or some type of poker that my brothers and I would later get in trouble with as we poked each other with the pointy end. A handful of each: Mary Janes, Bit o’ Honey, and Halloween foil wrapped chocolate candies.

Still, to this day, I love me some Bit O’Honey. Every time I see those little candies, I’m reminded of my Grandma and Grandpa’s house on Halloween and those grease marked brown lunch bags. I remember thinking how much Grandma must love us to make us such treat bags and not just buy us some of the same old candy.

So, it makes me wonder what exactly my kids strongest Halloween memory will be. Will it be the weekend that we spend camping with THEIR Grandma and Grandpa and aunts and uncles trick-or-treating at the campground, like we did this weekend?

Will it be carving their pumpkins that we take so much time in doing to get cool jack-o-lanterns?

Will it be the treat bags that they are given by their Great Aunt and Uncle? Or will they remember their super cool homemade costumes, pieced together with all sorts of items from Goodwill, home and thrift stores? The one thing that I’m sure of…it will be FAMILY that is in those memories. Because all of the Halloween activities include family….mom and dad, Grandma and Grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins. So, I guess it doesn’t matter what is their favorite memory as long as they remember how much they were loved…and how happy we all were to be there and doing it all with them.

Things I've learned today

2009-08-20T17:14:00.000-04:00

A seven year olds poop in a modern campground is even less fun and more stinky to clean up then a 2 year olds on a hiking trail when wearing no diaper.

Geocaching several caches in one day is stupid for us.

The geocaches that say bring your own pen are so samll that it doesn't have any fun trading items to keep the kids interested.

Apparently, my kids would love to live in a pickle barrell.

A day trip for our family usually lasts ALL day with lots of side trips. Its 9:57 and we're 1/2 hour from camp (strike that.....its now 10:45 and according to TomTom we won't be back at camp until midnight) .

However we see a lot of things that most people never see in their lifetime.

The UP has some gorgeous uninhabited country.

Which is a REALLY good thing considering that Chuck drove off and left me standing in a backcountry road with no pants on as I changed out of my swim bottoms and into pants.

Nylon swim bottoms are NOT comfortable to walk in all day long and the resulting rash is less comfortable.

Driving off the beaten track and into some primitive campgrounds of the NPS make me miss our tent camping days of Chuck and I.

However, driving back in the still of the night with sleeping children makes for some awesome quiet couple time.

And I'm going to enjoy it.

Rant and Rave avoided...thank your lucky stars.

2009-08-14T15:50:00.002-04:00

So, I had another post started but it seemed like a huge bitchfest and rambling nonsense to me so I figured I’d restart it. Afterall, who really wants to read about the wicked witch of the west that I work with, my horrible Aunt Flo cramping this month or the shitty city that I live in that gives tickets for parking in your own driveway?

A couple of weeks ago I got a new blackberry; I love the blackberry. Seriously, I think I’d marry it if I could as I already sleep with it usually. Hey, I use it as a secondary alarm clock! However, I’ve had issues with keeping up on blogging. I find myself less and less on the pc and more and more on my blackberry, which for all its awesomeness, it isn’t exactly made for blogging. Unless they made a blogger application for it, then that’d be way cool! Everyone would get daily updates from my vacation next week as I seem to be doing a lot of Facebook updating through the easy-peasy app. So if you’d like to keep up to date on my daily comings and goings, add me as a friend!

One of the major goings in our household right now is the fact that 4 days before our annual week-long camping trip, Miss Elizabeth has decided to potty train herself. Yay! Except for the fact that I’m not sure how well driving in a car for 9 hours is going to work with a little girl *just* starting out in panties. Or how well, traipsing through Tahquammenon Falls is going to be with her in a backpack with just panties on and no where to use the potty. I guess it’s nature afterall and she’s always trying to pee standing up (its what happens when you live in a houseful of boys and your sitter is a boy too!) However, I’m not going to actively discourage her so we’re working on wearing big girl panties to go along with her big girl bed that she got last weekend. It’s been sooooooooo nice having my own bed back to just Chuck and I again. Well, at least until about 5 am every morning.

And considering that Chuck just celebrated his 41st birthday last Friday, he needs all the uninterrupted rest he can get. He keeps sputtering about how he’s getting old and needs more sleep now then he did before. I think it’s true too, despite all the studies done that suggest older people need less sleep. Maybe it means “older” people without young children….cuz we’re exhausted at the end of the day.

His birthday was a nice day; spent some time at the splash pad, the beach and had a huge dinner made by me and Lucas. Rachel Ray is one of my culinary heroes. Okay, maybe she’s my only culinary hero…but I love her recipes and the fact that it’s a 30 minute meal makes it even better in my book. This time we did a recipe for Chipolte grilled Porterhouse steaks with a cilantro-lime butter compound, cheesy smashed potatoes and a fire roasted vegetable mixture tossed in the butter compound. I know, yummy right? It was all gone at the end of the day too…even the boys loved the meat.

During the whole time, Lucas kept saying “I’m turning into a good little chef, aren’t I momma?” Of course, I agreed but not just out of the motherly obligation…he really is! He was a ginormous help and has really come out of his shell lately. He, being Lucas, had to get in the good-natured ribbings on his father’s 41 years; last night he informed me that we beat Daddy at the grocery shopping game because Daddy is “old now and getting slow”.

However, we’ll see just how “old and slow” daddy is when we’re hiking through the wilderness and geocaching for the first time. I have a sneaking suspicion we’ll have a hard time keeping up with him.

We leave for the UP tomorrow. Hope to update in the wilderness….maybe it will bring out my sentimental, thoughtful side. I’m really looking forward to doing nothing for 9 days….and when I say nothing, I mean hiking, boating, swimming, playing in the sand, geocaching, visiting the museums, possibly going to the zoo, visiting the fish hatchery, Kit-i-kippi springs and seeing my aunt and uncle for a day.

Sounds like heaven.

The Chocolate Monster

2009-07-28T16:33:00.001-04:00

I’m starting to get a little frustrated. Well, more than a little really.

See 3 weeks ago, I visited a friend in DC; in this friend’s apartment were mirrors. LOTS of mirrors. Everywhere I turned I saw my reflection, and honestly, after not seeing my full reflection (except in pictures) regularly in more than a year, I was more than a little disgusted with how much weight I’ve gained.

For some reason, while I am pregnant, I lose weight and once I am no longer pregnant I gain. And I gain A LOT.

So on my way home, I made a decision to lose weight. I’m healthy…my cholesterol is 117. My blood pressure is 102/70. My blood sugar is perfect. Rarely do I let my weight get me down.

But I’m finding it harder to do things. Cedar point is completely out of the question, for example, until I lose enough weight to fit on the rides. I go hiking with the family, but am always well behind (usually I’m carrying or pushing or backpacking Elizabeth, but still). I want to look hot for my husband.

So, three weeks ago I started counting my calories. Eating smaller portions, better foods, getting in more fruits and veggies and less fast food/junk food. And I’ve done well staying below my calories almost every single day. (this weekend was harder as I was camping with the folks. But I did try to make good decisions).

I feel like my clothes are fitting me differently too.

So why am I frustrated? Because I cannot visibly SEE the weight on the scale going down. The scales that are close to me (at home and at work) don’t go up to my weight so I have no idea where I’m at. Whether I should start cutting more calories. Whether I’m losing anything at all.

Part of me wants to say screw it. What’s it matter anyway? The other part of me is encouraging me to go on…afterall, my pants feel looser right?

So, how (on days when I am craving chocolate) do I not give in to the defeated, loser feelings? Any suggestions?

Sensitivity and Tears reign again

2009-07-27T15:47:00.004-04:00

For Christmas one year GRANDMA BOUGHT THE KIDS “Charlotte’s web”. I wrote about my surprise at how profoundly the death of Charlotte affected Zachary.

That was over 2 years ago. Since then, Zachary has read the book on his own as well as me reading parts to him again. So when I saw that the live-action “Charlotte’s Web” (with cutie patootie Dakota Fanning) was available on netflix, I jumped on the chance for him to see all the characters he’s read about brought to life.

I really didn’t think we’d have the scene we had last night in our living room.

All of the kids were enthralled with the movie. The puppetry was awesome, the CGI of Charlotte was phenomenal. Even Elizabeth sat and watched pulled in by the interplay of Charlotte and Wilbur.

Sure enough, we reach the pivotal point of the movie where Charlotte dies. I teared up a little (hey, the movie was well done!) so I look over to see how Zachary is doing.

My heart broke for him.

He was sitting all alone in the chair with his shirt over his face, wiping the tears, his shoulders wracking with sobs. Every little bit you could hear his breath catch in his throat as he worked his way through another sob.

I called him over to me and he immediately buried his head in my chest crying. I rubbed his back, told him that Charlotte went on to a better place and that this is how life works for spiders. Yet, she was a spectacular spider who did wonderful things for her friends and that’s what she’ll be remembered for.

He quieted down, but watched the remainder of the movie wrapped in my embrace. and I was only too happy to have him there.

Needless to say, I don’t think we are ready for “Old Yeller” just yet.

Gone Baby Gone

2009-07-23T13:21:00.001-04:00

So, upon a free trial from a friend of ours, we decided to give netflix a try. I know, I know…welcome to the 21st century, right? I cannot tell you how much fun it’s been going through the 1000’s of movies trying to decide which one we want to see next.

Because since having all the kids, we don’t get to the movies all that often. In fact, we rarely rent movies because they get to be too expensive around here ($3.50 a pop for a rental and you always have to rent at least 2…one adult, one for the kids). So there’s plenty of movies that we’ve yet to have seen.

One of them was the directorial debut film by ben Affleck, starring casey Affleck (nope, no nepotism there) called gone baby gone.

It was a very twisted thought-provoking movie that put the main character in a moral dilemma at the end of the movie. First of all, this movie was absolutely gut-wrenching for me as a mother. I think losing a child is probably one of the biggest fears and worries of most mothers. And seeing the dregs of society not caring for their children is just about as sickening. The worst part about the movie is that I know there are so many families out there where the children are left to grow up and raise themselves because of junkie mothers, dead beat dads, etc. no one is there to allow them to be children…loving them, stroking their hair and backs at bedtime, reading a book to them, cuddling them when they are scared. It’s too real of a scenario for me to be called fiction.

That all being said…the 3 year old little girl (played by this sweetie at the left) is taken. (too close to my own two year old for comfort) the girl was sleeping and the mother went out to the bar for a few hours…I mean afterall, the girl is sleeping right? The mother could really give a shit less as she’s more concerned with covering her junkie ass and not getting it put in the slammer or killed from her drug dealer. Kid? What Kid? Oh yea…that one…kind of mentality. So all in all I didn’t really feel that sorry for the woman…more for the child who could be out there being abused or lying dead somewhere.

Enter the cops. The chief of police lost a daughter at the age of 12 to abduction and subsequent murder. He’s a good guy…fighting for the child. Upholding justice. All that good stuff. You like him. You champion for the good guy.

Enter the private eye and his girlfriend. They are hired by a family member to “help” the police. He stays on the track..even after the cops have called it a closed case. The p.i. is a good guy. Basically just wants to help and feels it’s his duty to do such. Starts poking around & questioning things..wondering why lies are being told to him by the ones that shouldn’t be lying aka the police.

Warning: spoiler alert! If you haven’t seen it and want to watch it, don’t read this part!

What does he end up of finding? A plot to abduct the girl to “save her” from her fate of a junkie mother and giving her to the police chief to raise as his own. so the dilemma presented him is this:

Do you call the cops on the now-retired police chief blowing the whistle on the plan and allowing the daughter and mother to be reunited?

Or

Do you leave it as it is? The mother thinks the daughter is dead. The girl would have a much better life with good schools, clean clothes, material belongings, cuddling and love from caring “parents”.

What would you do?

After the movie ended, I felt very much in turmoil from it. (and had a very strong urge to go around and check on all my kids and give them kisses in their sleep…which I did.) chuck and I discussed what we would do given that situation….

He said he’d leave the little girl there. It would be the best thing FOR HER.

I said that even though the mother was a shitty mother, no one deserves to think that their little girl is dead when she’s not. If there’s just cause to have the little girl removed, go through cps and the proper channels.

Which is what our hero in the movie did. The mother was so grateful, tears, hugs, kisses. The movie ended with our hero (casey Affleck) going back to visit the little girl and the mother. the mother was cussing and swearing and smoking while the little girl sat on the couch. She was going out on a date….when asked who was going to watch the little girl, she kinda shrugged and said her friend across the road or at least she would as soon as she walked over there and told her to. It is so completely obvious that nothing had changed. The mother was still unconcerned for the child, so was it really the best decision? It’s something that our hero would have to live with….and made me want to cry for all the children that live like that out there.

So what would you do? How would it make you feel seeing how it ended up?

Communication in Sex: Hump Day Help

2009-07-22T04:12:00.003-04:00

As most therapists will tell you, communication is key in a successful marriage/relationship. However, I’m a strong believer that communication is very important in a healthy sex life too; it may be one of the hardest aspects to achieve in your relationship though.

Often, lovers do not tell each other their likes, dislikes, desires or fantasies for many different reasons: fear of rejection, fear of disapproval, fear of offending the other party, among many others. Everyone has their own reason that I’m sure you could add in there.

But communication in regards to sex is very important to get exactly what you are need of out of the sexual relationship. By communicating your desires or dislikes, not only can you reach your peak easier, but feel more connected with your partner as the niggling little comments (like: Geesh, why can’t he seem to get it right? Doesn’t he know the spot to hit? Eeek…that’s so irritating!) are gone. Because chances are your partner doesn’t know! Cluing your partner in on what works for you will take a lot of honesty and patience though.

There are some fun ways to open up the lines of communication, however. Pure Romance, for example, has a line of games that are designed to do just that. The Date Night Game is perfect for couples looking to leave all inhibitions at the door and learn something about your lover that you never knew before.

Already feel comfortable talking to your partner about sex? Here's some tips on how to make sex better by communicating.Non-verbal communication:

Experts say that 70% of communication is non-verbal. This type of communication can be something as simple as a suggestive wink to let him know you are "in the mood" or wearing a piece of lingerie or the perfume that he loves.

Giving Directions

It is perfectly acceptable to tell your partner what you like during sex. Unless you are in bed with a psychic, chances are they cannot read your mind on what you like and dislike. Tell them!

If you are in the throes of passion, it might not suffice to get all technical; instead, something as simple as placing his hand where you need or want it to be will work. You can also give verbal clues like "yes, kiss me there, right there!" That's letting him know that X marks the spot so he can go back to that again.

The Out-of-Bed Discussions

Many sexual problems can be solved simply by discussing them. If you are having a complete disconnect and giving directions or non-verbal clues isn't working. Maybe it's time to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mate.

You will definitely want to start with what they are doing right. No one wants to feel inadequate in the bedroom so start off with the things that really work for you and continue on to the things that could use some work. Avoid negativity. Instead of saying "You don't ever kiss the back of my neck." you could say "I really enjoy it when you kiss the back of my neck". That's letting him know your wants without him going on the defensive.

Things to Remember

Think openly. Some men and women enjoy different things during sex whether it being tied up or a use of toys. If your mate has disclosed a desire to do something you may not have done before, revolting away from him will close down all lines of communication from there on out. While you shouldn't do anything you feel uncomfortable with, making your partner feel "dirty" about their desires isn't good for your relationship.

Just because you had this all figured out when you first got together doesn't mean all the same things will work now. Review each others likes and dislikes occasionally. Things can change.

Finding an open line of sexual communication that works for both you and your partner may be the beginning of a much stronger, happier sex life for you. Enjoy it.

Sarcasm & Humor: Thy name is Lucas

2009-07-21T11:47:00.004-04:00

I don’t very often blog just about Lucas. It’s sad, I know. I feel so often that Lucas gets the short end of the stick because he’s the middle child. Or maybe I’m overly sensitive since I was the middle child as well. Either way, don’t think that he holds a smaller place in my heart than the other two. It’s absolutely not true, not even one iota. Lucas is the one who makes me laugh…almost daily. And sometimes in completely inappropriate instances…such as yesterday…

Lucas was in rare form yesterday. We were sitting at the dinner table when Zachary said something and Lucas retorted. I laughed at whatever Lucas had said, because, quite frankly, it was funny. Zachary, of course, got all upset that I was laughing at him. Chuck explained that I was not laughing at him, but instead at Lucas. “And before you start going off about who’s laughing at whom, you need to learn what humor is.”
Lucas turns and looks at his brother and says “Yea. Maybe you should go back to preschool” complete with that little pursed lip, head nod and snotty tone that he does so well.

Chuck immediately tells him that is not acceptable to antagonize his brother, all the while I’m trying desperately to hold in the giggles...which earned a stern, reproachful look from Chuck.

Then, later, Lucas came running inside from the back yard, stopped, pointed at Chuck and screeched “OLD MAN!” and took off from the room. I didn’t hear him, but when Chuck started bellowing that he’d better watch it…I asked what had happened and burst out laughing again. Lucas was standing next to me, shoulders stooped and shaking, hand over his mouth, giggling; that made me laugh even harder at his daring little comment.

Here’s some other bits I’ve heard from him recently:

“Brother, have we ever been to a jungle?” (He calls Zachary “brother”. Z doesn’t seem to mind)

“Yea, I’m good…cuz I got skilz.” (Thanks to Chuck for teaching him that.)

“I’ll be all over that…” (referring to a jar of pickles)

“You’re going DOWN!” (while playing Wii with Chuck)

I love this kid. He is so much like his father in so many ways…they both always seem to find a way to make me laugh. Usually it’s when they aren’t trying that make me laugh the hardest.

Lucas also gave me two kisses in the last two days as well as instigated hugs and told me he loved me (instead of saying “Me too” when I tell him I love him or saying “I really like you momma.”) This is a high point for me because it’s been almost a year since those things have happened. We went through a really rough point last summer with Lucas and while he was a loving and affectionate child before the problems, afterwards, not so much. I missed Lucas kisses but didn’t push the issue…I wanted him to have time to heal and do what felt right for himself. This week I’ve been rewarded and my heart swelled.

I'm glad he's getting back to his sarcastic, funny, cute little self again.

DC: Land of the Free, Home of the Busy

2009-07-09T08:25:00.007-04:00

We are home! Actually, we’ve been home for a week now, but somehow time has gotten away from me with the blog. Possibly, due to the work on the backyard, working my regular job, my Pure Romance parties and spending 3 hours driving around to pharmacies to find the meds for Zachary. (Grrr…another post entirely.)

We had an absolutely fabulous time in DC. And except for the first full day in DC, the kids were very well-behaved. I, however, believe that the brood *may* have scared our host away from ever having kids. Because after 39 years of being a bachelor, having a 2, 5 and 7 year old invade your home and run you ragged really shows what life with children can be like. At a couple of different points, our friend said to Chuck “You guys don’t ever get a vacation do you?” to which Chuck replied “This IS our vacation.” We are definitely NOT the sit on the beach, sipping cocktails kind of people. We see and do everything we can possibly cram into the days without overstressing us or the kids.

Now, that’s not to say we don’t have downtime! We went to Chesapeke Bay on Sunday after a VERY busy 4th of July but even at the Bay we didn’t just sit around. Chuck and I were in the water with the kids, picking up shells with them, playing on the playground. Well, okay, we were actually sitting on the benches next to the playground, but you get my drift. To us, that was a really relaxing, fun time!

So let me back up…what did we do? We started our trek on Thursday, July 2 at 4:00 in the morning. Got about 20 minutes from home when, being the list maker that I am, was rambling through the list in my head and checking things off when I asked Chuck if he’d packed the little camera. The look on his face said it all…so since we were still close to home, we turned around and got it. Back on the road at 4:45. Stopped at Brandywine Falls in Ohio for breakfast and to take a hike and stretch our legs a bit. The falls were beautiful and well worth the little trek off the road to see them. The kids were in awe of them. Elizabeth made me nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers as whenever I turned my back for 2 seconds, she was climbing the railing.

After that, we drove…and drove…and drove. The highlight of the trip was going through the mountain tunnels for the kids. About an hour from DC we stopped at Fort Frederick and were one of only 2 families there. So we got to see everything up close and personal. The kids were mostly concerned with running around in the huge grassy area of the fort which I encouraged and whole-heartedly agreed with as they’d been cooped up in the car for 12 hours by that point. However, when the guide brought out the musket and asked if they wanted him to fire it, the answer was an emphatic “Yes!” It was neat to see how enraptured they were with something so simple. The gentleman was nice enough to do it again…at the encouragement of 2 of my little people.

Day 2 started out in a fantastic way...everyone was awake, showered, and ready to go. I had turkey sandwiches made and along with other lunch items and snacks packed neatly in a backpack along with Elizabeth's diapers. We got to Gallaudet University to park (where Dave works) and Chuck asked "Where's the backpack?" He does this to me all the time...trying to freak me out, I guess. I told him I SAW him carry it downstairs, afterall, I was right behind him on the stairs, I saw it on his back. Well, apparently, after the stairs he put it down on the sidewalk of the apartment building in order to throw away garbage and put Elizabeth in her carseat...and promptly left it sitting there. At this point our options were to go back and hope that it was still there (unlikely) and waste a good hour of our day or go on, try to find a little convenience store to buy diapers and buy lunch in DC. I voted for the second option. We headed out to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History and I kept my eyes open for someplace to buy dipes. Did you know that in a major metropolitan area it's just not that easy??? So Elizabeth was soaking wet, the boys were more interested in running around than looking at the exhibits in an overly-crowded museum and we spent $36 for 2 pieces of the crappiest pizza I've had in my life, a turkey sandwich, and a cup of soup. So, um, yea. Day 2 wasn't that great. I believe this was the day that Chuck suggested we buy lemonade and tanqueray for "Mommy". ;)

July 4 rolled around and it was suggested that after the day we had before, maybe we shouldn't do all the stuff we'd planned. But seriously? Go all that way to do nothing? NO WAY! So we went to the parade and had seats right on the street, ate a huge piece of watermelon and awesome chicago style coney dogs, played in the field a bit and then spent 5 hours or so at the Air and Space museum which was AWESOME. Only mishap was that we lost Zachary for about 10 minutes...one of the longest 10 minutes of my life...but we found him again, no worries. Zachary also scraped up his face pretty good after the museum by trying to do some skater-style jump/turns off a brick wall and instead skidded across the pavement on his face. A trip to the first aid station and 20 minutes later and we're all good. It was nearing time to go see the fireworks (it gets dark early in DC...who knew?!) and we located my oldest brother and his kids and had the most fantastic spot just about 150 yards from the Washington Monument. It was amazing! I'm so glad that we were able to experience that....the kids were enthralled from the first bang. And really so was I!

The next day, we went to the "ocean" and then spent the evening going to all the monuments. It was a great time to see them...the crowds had died down, the weather had chilled off and we were able to find close parking! Perfect!

Monday saw us going to probably the favorite of all of us: The National Zoo! It was awesome. Easy to get to, compact but not crowded, and the kids got to stuff their own stuffed animals...so cute! Each of them carried their own stuffy out of the zoo in their box/carrying case and I don't think a herd of wild buffalo could have gotten Elizabeth's lion cub away from her. I offered to help her (the box is almost as tall as she is!) but she yanked away from me and glared like I had tried to rip off her arm. Little Miss Independent. We stayed up late kabbitzing with Dave and enjoying our last night together...

Except maybe a little too late considering that we wanted to leave at 6 am on Tuesday. We made our deadline though..or close to it. And didn't even forget any of the children behind. We were on the road for just a little while when Chuck saw a sign for Gettysburg, so off we went there for 2 1/2 hours or so. We drove the auto tour and gave the kids just a taste of history...Zachary seemed to be interested, Lucas just like climbing the rocks, and Elizabeth wanted to give me a heart attack by running over and around everything. Back on the road for just a little while before we stopped at a state park in PA for lunch and kite flying. Another hour and we're back on the road in the backwoods of PA, up through the mountains, down through the little burgs. We were on a small 2 lane road in a small town that consisted of a bar and some houses when I saw a sign that said "Flight 93 Temporary Memorial". After telling Chuck what I'd seen he said "We have to go" so off we went and ended up in a field in the middle of rural PA to arrive at a site that Chuck described as creepy and I couldn't help but cry at. On the way out to the field, we tried to relay to the boys exactly what had happened there...how men and women lost their lives trying to beat the bad guys so that more people weren't killed. How these men and women were heroes. I don't think they understood. But after seeing the site, leaving 5 strings of red, white and blue "memory" beads and a note, and Zachary reading all the memorial stones....he walked away saying "this place makes me kinda sad momma." I shook my head, through the many tears, and told him I couldn't agree more.

So, what should have been a 12 hour trip home ended up in an 18 hour trip home...but lots of memories made along the way.

I couldn't pick just a few pictures to post...we took over 700 afterall....so I put together a video of some of my faves. Thanks Dave for having us and allowing us the opportunity to experience so much!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Ah, the joys of toddlerhood

2009-07-01T10:23:00.001-04:00

I love this age of inquisatory innocence. Of everything being brand new in a toddler's world. Of learning new words EVERY SINGLE DAY.

This are things that have happened within the last 48 hours with Elizabeth.

Drank bleach. It got left down on the stove (our laundry room is our kitchen. Not fun!) while Daddy did the dishes and she got a stool and drank some. 3 hours in the ER and one popsicle later, and she's fine.

Yesterday, she got into the fire pit while I was on the other side of the gate, desperately trying to get in to stop her, as she rubbed ashes all over herself and played in the ashes until the wind picked up and blew them back into her eyes. We spent 1/2 hour pouring water into her eyes, while holding them open, in order to get the ashes out.And yes, that's red glitter and white paint. She woke up in our room before Chuck Sunday morning. I didn't hear her in there until this had already occurred. We keep the craft cabinet in our bedroom since it's the most out of the way of little hands. Well, except when they sleep in our bed.

(okay, so maybe I don't *love* those things...but it goes to show how incredibly inquisitive she is about EVERYTHING)

She's just been full of new words. After hiccuping twice, she giggled "I birpt agin!"

Zachary left the bathroom door open so she went in there and used Aloe as a lotion (seriously, is it common that toddlers are obsessed with lotion? She wants to put everything on as lotion!) I could smell it as I left the kitchen and went in to help her clean up. At least aloe is good for the skin!

While in the bathroom she decided she needed to potty. I'd be so happy if she actually potty'd when she said she had to! But we sat and tried. I ~~bribed~~ encouraged her to potty this time with a mini chocolate donut. To which she replied..."Puuuuuuuuuush. Puuuuuuuuuush" while grunting slightly. Alas, to no avail.

However, while she was on the potty she decided that would be the best time to show her love to me by hugs and kisses. There's something weird about kissing your daughter while she's naked on the toilet.

We were watching the very tail end of XMen: The Last Stand before bed and as the end comes and Magneto moves the chess piece and the music starts, Elizabeth looks at me with the o....O face. She cracks me up with her expressions.

I can't wait to see her experience the ride to DC and all the sites in DC. A whole new experience....good thing I'm taking a baby carrier ;)

I got baby fever, you got baby fever, we got baby fever!

2009-06-30T19:46:00.003-04:00

Well, maybe not you or we...but I do.

Maybe not baby fever, but pregnancy, labor and delivery fever.

I seriously wonder how many people out there have L & D fever; my guess is not many. Usually all you hear about is the horror stories of labor and delivery: the pain, tearing, screaming, cussing. But to me, that is such a magical time that is full of miracles.

Don't get me wrong, I love babies. They are so cute, smell so good, so tiny and unassuming. Except for the waking up every 2 hours to eat, the fact they can't tell you what they need, and they grow into these little ~~monsters~~ sweet angels that I have running around my house right now, I'd have about 2 or 3 more. Well, maybe not, as daycare is EXPENSIVE.

I hate to say it, but I'm a little green with envy over our friends', Matt and Karen, latest experience and newest arrival. Vienna Jane was born on Friday evening and I encouraged Chuck heavily to go and visit on Saturday so I could see Vienna and hold her and get my baby fix. Matt facebooked the entire day of labor with pictures, updates, and finally pictures of little Vienna Jane. Having it so vividly spelled out reminded me of my own labors and deliveries. How close Chuck and I were doing those times. How emotional and memorable the delivery was. How I looked at my own little baby and felt the immense amount of love and protection for something that is part me and part my husband. Birth, by far, the most amazing thing I have ever done, and possibly will ever do, in my entire life.

I told Chuck late Friday night as we were laying in bed together, that I was slightly envious about Matt and Karen's journey into parenthood. His response? "No, really?" I guess he noticed my obsession with facebook that night.

So, I got to live a little bit more through our friends. It was so sweet to watch Lucas hold Vienna and cuddle her so close. Elizabeth was very interested in the baby, but was more than a little cautious of her. I could tell that she wanted to see her and touch her, but was more than a little unsure about doing so. She did give her a little kiss on the forehead when I said it was okay.
Isn't she adorable? I think so too. Lucas is a pretty handsome kid as well, not that I'm biased or anything.

So to Matt and Karen: Congratulations, Good Luck and Lots of Love to all threeof you!

I &hearts my family!

2009-06-24T22:43:00.001-04:00

Summer is a super busy time for us. Normally at this point during the summer, we've already been camping 2 or maybe 3 times. But not this year. We're saving up the cash to go to Washington D.C. We leave in just ONE week! (Can you tell I'm excited? It's nothing compared to the excitement of my children who ask every morning "How many more days?") I even went shopping today to get some summery clothes to be walking in and around DC. The last time I went clothes shopping for myself was....um....November? I bought a pair of jeans and a sweater. Before that? I have no idea.

And I think I did really well! 4 shirts and 2 pairs of capris for right around $60!!

Anyway, over the last week we've been busy. Last Thursday, our work had a "Bring Your Child to Work Day" and Zachary was finally old enough this year to visit work and see exactly what I do! It was neat as a carnival was set up in the cafeteria of our building with fun games that explained what kind of jobs each unit that participated performed. Zachary had an enormously fun time; mostly because he got a huge sucker as the prize for one of his games.

Chuck has told me I've not been including enough pictures of the kids so you'll get hit with a lot in this post

One of the things that I noticed the most about this day was how incredibly grown up Zachary looks. There were other kids there that were Zachary's age and he looked much older than they did. And not just because he's taller than 97% of the kids. He just looks older; he doesn't have the baby face any more. He's long and lean with a strong jaw, strong arms and legs. *sigh* My baby is growing up so fast.

I asked Zachary at the end of his day with me (he went home early with daddy) if he understood what Momma did now.

He said: Work!

Me: Yes, but what kind of work?

Z: The kind of work that you could be dead and still do. Actually, I think that you could do it as a zombie!!

Huh. In just 6 hours, he hit the nail on the head.

Funnily enough, when I got home this was the site I walked into. Zombified by their Nintendo DSes. I guess he thinks they are a lot more fun than my work though.

Then on Saturday, we had a wedding in the family for my cousin. The kids weren't allowed int he chapel during the ceremony (due to space) so we skipped the wedding and went swimming at my mom and dad's campsite. It was GREAT. First lake swimming of the season. Summer. Is. Here!!
And, yes, I am one of "those parents" that makes their kids wear life jackets any time they are around water. Three kids. Two of us. You do the math. I feel more comfortable knowing they are safe until I can get to them.

Then onto the wedding. Funny to see our kids rolling around in the mud and sand and then just hours later seeing them all dressed up in their frippery. I had dozens of people come up to me and tell me how adorable Elizabeth looked. I know, right? She's amazingly cute!! Not that I'm at all biased at all. She adores her daddy too.
At the end of the evening, I caught this extraordinarily candid picture of Lucas and Daddy. Lucas is so clearly thinking "my dad is such a dork!" Yet, I think Chuck is so adorable. I &hearts his cheeks, his smile, his goatee...*sigh* Everything. And the top hat, helped to make my brother look like Mr. Peanut with his cane, but on Chuck....niiiiiiiiiice. Wish I would have thought of top hats for our wedding.
7 more days to DC....did I mention that? Okay, okay, I'm sure I did. But wanted to reiterate and capture everyone in my excitement...;)

I wanted to give a shout out to Stacey over at The Thrifty Chick for teaching me how to use the html codes for hearts! I feel so liberated since learning it! Thanks Stacey!

Feeding Moses

2009-06-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

This weekend, I did something I rarely, if ever, do. I picked up a copy of People. I was standing in line at our little local grocery store waiting to buy eggs, milk and some mini donuts to compliment our breakfast of scrambled eggs and fresh sausage when I saw Jon (of Jon and Kate plus 8) on the front cover. And I have to admit that it caught my eye and interest enough that I bought the stupid rag.

See, I’m not one of the people in America that are celebrity crazed. Honestly, besides a few of my favorites (Matthew Mccounaughey…yum…for one), I have no idea who most of the celebrities are. People will be talking about this actor or that actress and I’m most likely to say “who?” But for some reason, I’m ashamed to admit, the whole Jon and Kate plus 8 scandal is interesting to me. I guess because they were ”real” people when they started out. Partially, because I’ve watched the series a few times and really feel like Kate is a huge, nagging, over-righteous, demeaning wench and so was interested in what Jon had to say. But if you’re looking for him to say anything of substance, don’t waste your time nor money reading the article.

However, I’m very glad that I got the magazine for another, much more substantial and meaningful article on something near and dear to my heart. There is a section in the magazine called “Heroes Among Us”. How incredibly refreshing to see the positives that people are doing in a weekly magazine instead of just scandal, gossip, and negativity.

This week the Heroes Among Us feature focuses on “Feeding Moses” and details the circumstances that led one widower with an infant and a 2 year old and 26 breastfeeding moms to each other…and how they are all having a very important impact on little Moses. I’ve done breastfeeding articles before, but usually it’s because of the amount of negativity that breastfeeding incurs. Not this time…People did a remarkable job in writing the article to show what a beautiful, natural and loving thing breastfeeding is.

Robbie Goodrich is a history professor at Northern Michigan University and after meeting and falling in love with his wife, they had one little girl and soon after found out that they were pregnant with a little boy. Just 11 hours after Moses was born, Susan died of a rare amniotic fluid embolism. Susan’s desire and goal was to breastfeed her son to 1 year of age as she did their daughter.

Robbie, wanting to honor the wishes of his late wife who was lost so suddenly, had ordered $500 worth of breast milk from the Kalamazoo Mothers Milk Bank (a wonderful cause. I have friends that donate their milk to the bank and donated to me when I couldn’t pump enough to feed Elizabeth) A good friend of the family called Robbie and offered to breastfeed Moses for him and Robbie accepted. Within a week, 20 some other mothers from around the area, organized by another close friend of the family at church, all donated their time, their bodies and their milk to make Susan’s wishes a reality…even after death.

These women give so much of their time to come and nurse and nurture little Moses…it’s just simply amazing the gift they are giving Moses and Robbie, too. I am impressed by the show of community in this situation as well. It gives me hope that when things are rough, there are good people in this world…everyday heroes…that will give of themselves in any situation.

And I guess it really shows that it does take a village to raise a child.

Hump Day Help: Keeping the Intimacy after children

2009-06-17T22:30:00.002-04:00

Having three young kids, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to find some spontaneous times to be intimate. A few years ago, I read that it’s very important to the marriage, mental health of both husband and wife, and therefore, the mental health of the children (by having happy mom and dads!) to find time for intimacy. And if you can’t find the time, you should create the time. Schedule a night or two or three every week for intimacy with your spouse.

And when we worked opposite shifts, we made sure that Saturday nights or early Sunday mornings we had that quiet time to ourselves to….well…you know…do the deed. We worked that into our schedules because it was important to us and the health of our relationship.

I had really thought that by being on the same shift, we wouldn’t have to schedule as more and there would be more time for that intimacy considering that we increased our availability to each other by 5 days just because we were finally both at home at the same time.

Somehow, though, that’s just not the case. It seems that no matter what, something happens.

Elizabeth doesn’t go to bed until 11 pm (& considering Chuck has to be up at 5 am, that’s his bedtime too!)

The boys are fighting and carrying on and don’t go to sleep right away.

I have a Pure Romance party and am gone until 11 pm.

I fall asleep putting the boys to bed (might as well hang up the idea that I can be woken up once I’m sleeping!)

Just plain too tired after long days at work and wrangling kids.

There is a kid sleeping in our bed.

Do you see my point? It’s hard (no pun intended!) to find the time to be intimate and yet it’s so important to a healthy marriage!

Hara Estroff Merano, at Psychology Today, wrote a piece about “Relationship Rules” and one of them that I think is a very important rule to remember is : Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn’t happen by itself. A good relationship isn’t an end goal, it’s a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.

Exactly what I am trying to say. So how exactly do you maintain that closeness when you live in a chaotic house like mine?

Schedule one day a week when you are going to make it a point to have sex. It may seem like it’s less spontaneous, because it is, but by planning it you can look forward to it and…

Leave little hints throughout the week about your sex night. Whether it’s a whispered dirty in his ear, a little love note in his briefcase or a naughty shot sent to him on his cell phone, you can get his blood pumping (and yours too!) in anticipation of the schedule night.

Don’t forget that intimacy doesn’t have to equal sex. A nuzzle of the neck always does wonders for my mood! A kiss at the base of the neck, a caress on the butt, a quick back or foot massage…all can be done with the kids around. In fact, it’s good for children to see their parents loving each other and modeling good relationship behaviors.

Have the knowledge that on average, married couples have sex 61 times a year. That’s just slightly over 1 time a week. So if you’re not having sex every night of the week, don’t get discouraged! But if you want it more than once a week, try to work it in.

If you’re children are of an older age (not like my 2 year old who gets into everything if not watched every second), use your lock on your bedroom door! Lots of sexual therapists suggest this as an alternative to late night sex when you’re both exhausted. An early morning romp when the kids are watching cartoons could just be the ticket.

Treat each other like you’re still dating. Be thoughtful of each other and put on the pretties (you know, cologne, makeup, do the hair) for each other…you will feel more attractive and your partner will more than likely notice it and be more in the mood.

But if you’re just too tired some night and don’t feel like it, don’t discount a cuddle in the bed, in the dark, talking about something other than work or kids. Discuss your fantasies and desires. Who knows what may pop up.

Feed the Ego...please?

2009-06-11T11:44:00.003-04:00

So, I have this little thing at the bottom of my page called a sitemeter. I like checking it because quite frankly it makes me feel good to see that people are actually coming to my site to read me.

However, in the last month while I've gotten over a 1000 hits (whoo-hoo!!) I've not had near that many comments. And if you're a blogger, you know how important comments are to the ego. I've gained a few followers too and I really appreciate you guys (Hi girls!) but I'd love to have all of you regular readers become my follower as well!

According to SiteMeter, I also get daily hits from someone in my home state...but over on the east side near Port Huron. Whooooooooo are you? Who, who? Who, who? I'm dying to know...and want to read your blog if you have one too!

So, please...comment. Follow. Then continue about your glorious soon-to-be-summer day!

New things all over the place!

2009-06-10T16:37:00.006-04:00

Well, as you can see, I've been working to change things up around here. I loved my last blog layout, but couldn't seem to get my new header into layout properly. So I changed things up again. What do you think? Good? Bad? Indifferent? I still have some things to fix (blue line up there...add more links...followers...etc) but overall I'm happy to have a little place in the internets that I can call home...and have it reflect me.

While I've been working on that today, my cell phone died. RIP my little purple Motorola. Oh, I how loved thee. My first cell phone of my adult life and it died in just a little over a year. My father would say it's because I use the damn thing too much...but I feel maybe it was just time to upgrade. Blackberrys have been calling my name.

In other new news....Miss Elizabeth said the words yesterday. You know the words I'm speaking of, right? The words that melt every momma's heart. The words that take the pain and suffering of living with a 2 year old (who gets into everything and paints her face with markers) and erases it from memory?

The three little words: I lub you.

She said it yesterday as I was getting ready to walk out the drawer to go to work and making my morning rounds of hugs, kisses and last minute "love you"'s to all the kids. I stopped, and she smiled, and went about her business of picking out her clothes for the day with Eric. But, I didn't imagine it....oh no. She said it again last night...along with huge, smacking, wet kisses on my cheek.

Oh how I love that girl.

Ah, the voice of it all

2009-06-09T15:15:00.006-04:00

I’ve always said that Chuck is the right man for me

….but he’d be the “perfect man” if he had an accent.

See, I’m a sucker for men with accents. Especially British, Irish or, in a pinch, Australian would do. I wonder sometimes if American men going overseas have the same type of allure that foreigners do here. Because there is something about an accent that makes me go weak in the knees and my tummy do a little flip-flop.

So, when a co-worker suggested I listen to this unabridged book on CD (the ONLY way to listen to them!) by Nora Roberts and told me that the gentlman who read it by the name of Fiacre Douglas had a fabulous Irish brogue, I was more than a little intrigued.

I put in the first CD of Born in Fire and fell in love with the readers voice, but honestly had a little difficulty getting into the story. But by CD 2, not only was I in love with the voice but all of the characters.

So much so, that I had to bring the last cd home that night to see how the story ended because I just could not wait till the next morning to finish it!

I love good books like that. The ones that leave you folded in their story…sometimes long after the book is finished. And I honestly had forgotten how much I enjoy a good, honest-to-goodness romance story.

The following morning I started book 2 of the series by Nora Roberts entitled “Born in Ice”. It was spoken by the same Irish bloke who made me weak in the knees during the first book and since I already knew and loved all the characters I had absolutely no problem getting into it.

And oh, how I got into it. I brought the 10 cd’s home and listened to them Friday night while I cooked dinner (yes, I cooked!) and then finished them all on Saturday.

And my heart was filled with romance and I had stars in my eyes. And unfortunately, no husband to help me out in that area (he was in Chicago watching the USA v. Honduras soccer game).

The books took me back to when we were first dating. To when that first kiss literally stole your breath away…..*sigh* oh, how I miss the new-ness of all that.

The stories revolve around the Concannon sisters and their lives. Born in Fire is about Margaret Mary Concannon, a firey red-headed artist, with a stubborn, arrogant streak to boot (I kinda felt some sisterly companionship to her). Born in Ice focuses on Brianna Concannon who is the cool, level-headed, practical thinker of the sisters who feels fiercly loyal to her family even if there are reasons not to. Set in "the west counties" of Ireland there are a lot of references to Irish scenes, history, and of course, dialect. Both books are about the inner turmoil they have and must face in order to fall in love.

If you’re looking for a fabulously romantic read and interesting characters, I highly recommend Nora Robert’s Born in Ice and Born in Fire

If you’re looking for an experience that will leave you breathless with want and romance….listen to it!

Welcome One and All!

2009-06-08T15:25:00.002-04:00

To the world inside my head!

Just wanted to put out a shout out to all the readers and followers of Love, Actually! Stop, relax, take a look around. I’m so glad you’re here! If you’d like to know more about me....click on my about tab up there. If you’re interested in ordering Pure Romance products (for yet another chance to win Cher’s giveaway), click on my Contact tab and you’ll be instantly able to contact me.

AND….If you’re not a loyal follower of Love Actually you should be! Why? Because Cher has a wonderful imagination and comes up with some of the neatest date nights on a budget! AND if you become a follower of her, you’ll be entered for a HOT-HOT-HOT giveaway! Go check it out and enter to win some Pure Romance products!!

And remember to follow me as well (over there---> just click on follow!)....I'll be letting all my loyal readers know of specials as they come up!!

Would you? Could you?

2009-06-04T16:48:00.003-04:00

If you dared?

The topic of starting new adventures has come up twice in the last couple weeks with 2 different friends and it really has me thinking.

Would I, Could I if I had the chance? Would I change anything of how it is now?

Let me preface this by saying that I love my children dearly. I would lay down my life any day of the week for any of them. My love and devotion to them has nothing at all to do with my thoughts. This is more so about me. About who I am or who I could be.

I asked Chuck last night if he felt trapped in a loveless marriage…only hanging onto the illusion of a family for the “sake of the children”. I was pretty sure I knew the answer, and I was right. No, a loveless marriage is not something that we share. But we do share the burden. The burden of responsibility.

And sometimes that burden can be really overwhelming.

It’s ironic…I was in the middle of writing this and thinking about all this when I get a message from Chuck that Zachary had a “bad spell” and went off on the sitter. He threw a box and then a picture frame from our wall at Eric. Why? Because Eric told him he had to clean his room before soccer. Which I had already instructed him about this morning; however, Zachary’s concrete thinking is that he only cleans his room after dinner. Funny how those rules always work only to his advantage.

But this is just an example of the responsibilities and challenges that we face. And sometimes, as parents, we feel like we’ve lost ourselves as adults.

We wake up, go to work, come home, deal with a multitude of things that need to be dealt with related to the kids (laundry, cooking, soccer practices, homework, baths, etc) and then it’s bedtime. And we wake up and do it all over again. We do what we have to do because it has to be done.

It makes me wonder if anyone is truly happy simply doing those things day in and day out with nothing for themselves. I wonder if someone out there is cleaning their child’s laundry and thinking “I’m so very lucky to be able to do this. I love cleaning.” Me thinks there is…and in some ways that makes me sadder. Sadder that I’m not completely content with my family, which is wonderful, but yet still yearn for something for me.

It’s one of the reasons I have my blog. Because I truly enjoy writing. (and love the comments!)

It’s one of the reasons I started my Pure Romance business. Because I wanted to get out of the house and let go of the sexual side of myself and help others do the same.

I blame PMS for my mood today. Damn that wicked witch of Aunt Flo anyways. She always gets my emotions in an uproar....and my need for chocolate and ice cream.

If I could go back and do my life over, would I? Nope. I wouldn’t. I feel fortunate to have 3 healthy, super cool kids, a loving husband, a home, a job and a hobby that I love. But there are days, I’d like a break from reality for a while.

**UPDATE: As I hit the "Publish Post" button, Chuck called. Elizabeth was screaming from spraying sunblock in her eyes. Seriously, Calgon take me away!!!

Insecure No More

2009-06-01T16:34:00.003-04:00

As a teen, I was incredibly insecure.

Overweight, kinda geeky, in all the “smart” classes, part of the Color Guard, I never felt like I fully fit in anywhere. I surely didn’t feel pretty or even worthy of being in the “in” crowd.

As I hit college, things changed a little bit for me. Not so much because I was any prettier (I wasn’t) or any skinnier (I definitely put on the freshman 20), it was just a matter of being able to be ME. There wasn’t the pressure of conformity in college…or at least I didn’t feel it. I was surrounded by a group of people who had no idea of my past. They hadn’t known me since I was in kindergarten sitting right next to them eating paste (true thing). I was able to be the outgoing person who spoke my mind about anything and everything and be real; and somehow people found that refreshing and funny.

Then I started dating my husband, and a lot of the insecurities resurfaced for a time. I was so concerned about what he thought about me, how he saw me, how skinny (or not) I was. I wasn’t entirely a very happy person those first few years as I questioned myself a lot as I’m sure he can attest to. I remember nights of laying on the bed sobbing because “I have nothing to wear” as he rolled his eyes and said I looked hot in anything. After a few years, I began to believe him. And understand that he truly loved me.

And then along comes mommy-dom in which your biggest critics are so often the other moms. You didn’t do this or that or the other thing “according to the book”. Damn the book, anyway. Who wrote that god-forsaken book that we’re all supposed to follow? It took me about 6 years to become comfortable in my mommy-role to where I can say that someone telling me that I’m a bad mom doesn’t phase me much. Instead, I’m more likely to think and wonder if they can do any better given the situations that we’ve been dealt. The answer to that question is usually a resounding NO.

But then we get to blogging.

I know, right?

Blogging shouldn’t make me insecure! But alas, there’s all sets of rules here too. Your blog should somehow look professional. You can’t speak your mind unless it’s sunshine and rainbows (god forbid that you suggest you don’t get along with someone). You should have a general theme to your blog. Make sure that you post regularly so that you get more page hits. Don’t post on the weekend because it’s deader than a doornail.

I’ve thought hard about restructuring my blog. I did change my layout because I wanted a three column blog (and I love it). But I really considered changing my blog content and creating a cohesive theme.

But I’m not going to.

Nope. The blogs name is The Insider….Inside Lisa. I started this blog, not so much to keep up with friends and family, but to get out my thoughts. My feelings.

Happy or not so happy.

I love looking back on my old blog posts and seeing what I was thinking when I found out I was pregnant for Elizabeth, or her birth, or when Lucas started using the potty, or even when we found out the diagnoses for Zachary.

I enjoy being able to relive moments through words…the good, bad and ugly moments. It’s all part of who I am.

So, I’m not changing it. And if you don’t like something that you read, you can leave me a nicely worded comment (I won’t tolerate nastiness) and I’ll respond in kind.

I’m just glad I'm not that insecure teen, or even twenty year old, anymore.

There are good people.....

2009-05-31T08:16:00.005-04:00

Today is the last day to get entered for my FREE May Giveaway. Get entered now if you haven't already. I'll be drawing the winner and posting it on the blog tomorrow!

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Dealing with the public, hearing my mom talk about the people that she serves at the court, seeing some of the parents at Zachary's school really makes me question the goodness of human nature. Really makes me question whether there are actually good people out there at all.

But then, just when I feel that all hope is lost for people in America, someone steps up and re-establishes my faith in the human race.

Yesterday, the family and I went to Hometown Days: the festival in my hometown that is complete with parade, carnival, games, pony rides, etc. We usually try to make it to the parade on a yearly basis, and this year was no different. (although we arrived late and surprised the heck out of my parents who thought we weren't coming!) The kids enjoyed the parade and some gentleman came walking back down the parade route and saw that the kids didn't have very much candy...and opened his backpack of leftover candy and told them to each take a handful. Zachary grabbed some...Lucas just one. "That's all, thank you!" The guy was a little surprised and even asked a couple times..."is that all you boys want?" Yep. They were just excited to have a few more pieces.

We went, as a family, to the car show (super cool!) where Chuck won a gift certificate for a free ice cream cone.

Then, we all headed down to the rides where mom and I each got the kids some tickets. Elizabeth had her first major ride (Oh, so cute on the carousel! She just grinned and grinned!) The boys were riding the bumper cars, so all of us were standing at the end waiting for them. After they got off, we took them aside and explained that they had ONE more ride to choose. After that one ride they were done. Chuck walked away for a minute while I was talking to the boys and came back and handed me money..$30 to be exact.

I thought it was from my parents and was just about to tell him to give it back to them when he explained that the guy over there gave it to him, stating that he "was out doing the Lord's work, and they were a blessed family and wanted to give something to another family."

I literally teared up. What an amazing man and family (his wife and teen daughter was sitting there with him). Not only did he allow us to give the kids another extra ride, a game, an elephant ear and pizza for my whole family, he restored my faith in the human race.

The news is inundated with bad news, bad people, murder and mayhem, it's so refreshing to see that there is still good people out there.

It also makes me want to do good for someone else; you know "pay it forward". I was laying in bed last night thinking about what I could do, how I could pay it forward when I remembered that last Monday I mowed the neighbors lawn because they hadn't had a chance to do it and his kids are all very allergic to the dust and pollen and such that happens with lawn mowing.

It made me wonder if this money was some sort of payment for my own good deeds. Made me think about how everything in this world is somehow interconnected. That even though you may not see it at that moment, you do get "payment" for good deeds. Not always in the form of money, maybe in the form of someone mowing your own lawn, bringing over a weeks worth of meals when you have a baby, or maybe just helping you out in a crunch.

Now, that doesn't mean that I don't want to still find a new way to pay it forward, but simply makes me consider that we are all interconnected in a way that maybe I've never considered before.

Thank you to the man in the black shirt at Hometown Days. My kids thank you. My parents thank you. And I thank you for helping to restore my faith.

My Husband Rocks: 2nd edition

2009-05-29T12:18:00.003-04:00

So last a couple of Wednesdays ago, my husband did something (I can’t even remember what it was) and he made the comment of “I bet THAT won’t make it on your next Friday MHR post”. I had to laugh. Maybe, just maybe, making him aware that I appreciate him makes him want to do even more nice little gestures to show his love. I guess that what we’ve always said about children may be true for adults as well: if you want to get a certain type of behavior from them, model that type of behavior.

So in this Friday’s installment of “My Husband Rocks” I’m not going to regale you in all the fascinating and wonderful things he did for me this week. Nope. Instead, I’m going to point out a few of the finer nuisances of my husband that make him so special to me.

One of my favorite things about my husband is that not many people truly understand him. I was talking to a friend of mine last week and she mentioned that Chuck and a friend were having a conversation around her and it was so completely over her head. Then when they tried to explain it…it was still over her head. I know it’s weird, but I like that about Chuck. I like that not many people understand his wit (and trust me, he is witty) nor his thoughts (and he is a thinker). I like that I totally understand him though. It’s like we have our own personal world…and our own jokes. Like when one of us yells out “dog pooping!” and then he and I die laughing while everyone else looks at us like goons.

But beyond our silly little inside jokes, I know the wonderful, sentimental, thoughtful, introspective person that is inside that gruff exterior. When my mom first met Chuck the first thing she said about him was "the arrogant cocky S.O.B." (this, of course, was the moment before I told her I was dating him.) But, that part...the arrogant, aloof, condescending person is the person that most people do see. (My mom has since changed her tone.) I get to see the other part...granted, not all the time...but I do. And I feel so fortunate to be married to someone who steps back and takes a look at his own relationship with his son and question it for the better, makes a scrapbook for me of when we first started dating and included the Seven Bridges Rd lyrics as a definition of our journey together (and labels Zachary as the "bridge between our hearts"), sets up exquisite surprises for me for my special days, and asks me out for our first date with roses and a blueberry 3 wick candle set up in my cabin.

My husband rocks because he allows me to see that side of him. He thinks enough of me to let me see the other side to the arrogant S.O.B. We get each other’s humour, sarcasm, thoughts and needs (especially in the bedroom!) Even though, sometimes, even I don't know what he's thinking until he puts it into words...he's definitely a complex man.

In short, Chuck rocks because we “get” each other. And I love him for it.

Hump Day Help

2009-05-27T23:16:00.008-04:00

So, I’ve decided that I want to do a little column every Wednesday entitled “Hump Day Help” which would feature a different concern regarding sexual health or having a positive outlook on your sexuality.

Why?

Because I believe there are a lot of people out there that have issues regarding their sexuality (especially women) or with having sex in general and suffer in silence. I did until I met my husband who helped me to realize that it’s okay to be ME. He helped me to understand and accept myself. I know there are a lot of women out there that felt like I did in my late teens/early twenties who don’t have the support or understanding. Some of the women are even much older than I was when I started to embrace my inner sexpot. And I want to help more women find that for themselves.

So, I’d been thinking and planning and wondering about what my first post would be for Hump Day….when I got an email from Pure Romance corporate that Pure Romance was featured on the Tyra Banks show. The show was entitled “Married Virgins”. I seriously stopped and re-read it, thinking I’d read it wrong.

I knew that there were women out there that had pain and extreme uncomfortableness during sex, but was unaware of a disorder called vaginismus. (See, I still have TONS to learn!) I figured if I was unaware it’s a good chance that others are as well and if you’ve found my blog and have this condition, I hope to help you a bit.

So, what exactly is vaginismus? Basically it is involuntary muscle spasms of the pelvic muscles surrounding the vagina. It’s not as if the woman is willing the contractions to happen; in fact, she may not even know that they are occurring until there is painful intercourse. According to vaginismus.com, this disorder is the most common cause of women remaining virgins through relationships.

The good news is that vaginismus is highly treatable. And that’s where the video from Dr. Debby Herbenick (author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction) on they Tyra show comes into play. In this video she talks about how vaginal dialators can help with vaginismus; and help women with this disorder to experience and enjoy sex, maybe for the first time. Dr. Debby worked closely with Pure Romance to develop their line of vaginal dialators.

How are vaginal dialators used to treat vaginismus? So glad you asked! The pelvic floor muscles are just like any other muscles and need to be used, stretched and exercised in order to be at their tip-top shape. Vaginal dialators are used to gently stretch those muscles and the vaginal tissue.

As with any exercise, you want to consult with your dr. before starting; however, it’s even more important when dealing with vaginismus. First, you want to make sure that you have a correct diagnoses and second, you’ll need to know what kind of regimen you should be following. Please see your dr. and discuss your concerns with him/her!! (I am in no way shape or form a medical professional!)

The most important things to remember when using…and choosing…a vaginal dialator set is:

*RELAX! Take a hot bath, drink a glass of wine, read a book…do whatever you need to do to relax.

*Get comfortable. Whether you’re most comfortable doing this in the shower/bath, in your bedroom or the living room couch, choose that spot.

*Find the best position for you. Most women find that lying on their back works the best.

*Use a quality water-based lubricant.

*Soft is good. When looking for a dialator set, you want to make sure that you get a soft and smooth set (with no ridges from the manufacturing molds!) that will be easy to clean and comes in graduated sizes. The Pure Romance set comes with six different sizes…no need to buy another set!

If you have a partner with this disorder, please understand that it is not a matter of wanting to have sex, but more a matter of a physical condition not allowing it to happen. There are other ways to have an intimate fulfilling relationship without penetration; let the dialators and Dr’s do their job so that you can experience it all with your partner. Who knows before too long she may be asking for you help with some insertions ;)

If you have any additional questions, check out vaginismus.com or email me. I’ll try to answer…or find the answer…to your questions. I’ll also be giving a 15% discount on the vaginal dialator set to any of my readers until 6/11/09.

Mayfair Renaissance Festival

2009-05-25T22:13:00.006-04:00

So, after a Sunday of working hard at the in-laws on their lawn (Zachary worked his butt off, Lucas...not so much...I kept having to get after him since he wanted to play with his cousin who wasn't working) we took the kids to the RenFest today. I thought the kids might enjoy dressing up and being knights and princesses for the day.And I think they did have a good time. They got to watch a Fox Hunt (men doing silly things to be called the foxiest in all the land), the jester doing jester-ly skits and making balloon swords and hats and animals for the kids, and got to see all kinds of swords from real hand tooled steel to wooden ones that looked miraculously just like the real thing. Zachary and Lucas also got to try on chain mail which was amazingly heavy...I'm shocked that they didn't fall over from the weight of it! We made paper crowns encrusted with plastic jewels and a septor that m'Lady Elizabeth kept pulling jewels off from as soon as I'd glue them on. On the way out for the day, Zachary also played a game called "Drench the Wench" where all proceeds went to cancer research. He threw 3 wet sponges at the girls and in return he got big, red kisses on each cheek and nose. The girls gave him the choice of handshakes, hugs or kisses and of course, my boy being my boy, chose kisses...and blushed the entire time.
It's funny, because on the way home, Chuck and I were talking about if we felt the $60 for the gate entrance, food, and couple little trinkets we picked up was worth it and I felt it really wasn't. But seeing it in print, we did a lot of things this afternoon and the kids had a good time and were very well behaved. They had new experiences and a little education of how things worked in the past (we went through viking encampments and they watched a blacksmith at work) so it wasn't all lost. I just expected a bit more....renaissance. I think the addition of a jousting competition and sword fighting competition would have been neat.

In the future, I think we may go but eat a HUGE meal ahead of time and make a no trinket rule. Then it would only cost the $21 entry fee...and that's a much more reasonable price for us for an afternoon of wandering through the mid-evil mall.

Teen Suicide

2009-05-21T12:59:00.002-04:00

***this may be upsetting for some. It is for me. Which is why I need to write it and get it out.***

This morning, while leaving for work, I noticed a bunch of police cars and civilian cars down our street. I live in a very small town so this was more than a little abnormal for us.

I called Chuck, who is at home with the kids today, to see if they were there when he took Zachary to school. Chuck wandered outside to check things out (yes, we’re gawkers) and the neighbor across the street came over to give an explanation for things.

The 15 year old boy who lives about 6 houses down from ours committed suicide last night. He hung himself. He had apparently told his girlfriend/friends last night that he was going to do it, but they all just thought he was joking.

I cried this morning when I found out; I’m crying now as I write this. I don’t know this teen. I don’t know his parents. But my heart still is wracked with sorrow for his parents. To walk in and find their son in such a way….how incredibly horrible for those parents. It’s something that likely will forever be burned into their memory as their last moments with their son.

My worst nightmare happened this morning just 6 houses from us. Dealing with bipolar, suicide is a very real concern for me. It’s a concern that started almost 3 years ago, already, when Zachary started telling us that life was too hard to keep living (his words), he wanted to kill himself (again, his words), or how he wishes he was never born (do you see a pattern here?) I’m scared to death of what Zachary’s teen years are going to be like. Chuck has publically stated that in his teen years he was suicidal and after a round of anti-depressants (bad news for bipolars) we dealt with the suicidal tendencies just a few years ago as well. It is probably one of the most frightening things I’ve had to deal with as a wife and mother; I don't ever want to deal with the more frightening possibility of an attempt succeeding.

I think it’s so important, especially considering that suicide rates are on the rise to understand and watch for warning signs in children and teens. Suicide among children is very rare; however, those rates jump dramatically when the teen years arise. Suicide is the 3rd leader of death for teens. Girls are two to four times as likely (depending on the sources) to attempt suicide; boys are 4 times more likely to succeed though. Sixty percent of suicides are committed with a gun that is found in the house, or the house of a friend. I’m not against guns….but PLEASE store them properly (meaning locking the gun up, keeping ammunition in a locked area away from the guns). And watch for the warning signs of possible suicide:

talk about suicide or death in general
talk about "going away"
talk about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
pull away from friends or family
lose the desire to take part in favorite things or activities
have trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
giving away personal items
experience changes in eating or sleeping habits
self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or driving too fast, for example)

I’m not a suicide expert in any way, shape or form. I have just as many concerns, fears, and worries about it as the next mom. So, if you have any questions, check out the United States Suicide Hotline or Suicide.org. There are tips, numbers to call for parents as well as teens or adults thinking of committing suicide.

My thoughts and prayers go out to that family on my street today. And to all of the other nameless families that are or have gone through this. I know it may be harsh to say, but I pray that I’m not in those shoes during Zachary’s teen years.

Two big thumbs down for NED school assembly....

2009-05-20T14:26:00.003-04:00

I just had to post this to share with everyone. I have had some problems with the school as it was, but I finally decided I needed to write something to let them know my discontent.

I’m writing in response to the NED (never give up, encourage others, do your best) assembly program that was brought into the elementary school on 5/19/2009. I have to say that I’m rather upset that a program was brought into the school and allowed to mercilessly advertise their merchandise and try to make an extra buck off our children and ultimately, us as parents.

This morning, my son and I had quite the talk regarding the “necessity” of having these NED show yo-yos. This talk was after the tantrum when I explained that we didn’t have the money to buy all the different types of yo-yos that the program had. When I saw that NED show was on the list of events on the monthly calendar, I actually looked up the program on the internet to see what they were about. I really like the concept but feel that instead of portraying that concept, what the kids actually gleaned from the program was the NEED to purchase yo-yos and do the tricks. But not only that, but that the tricks HAD to be done with those yo-yo’s and only those yo-yos. I asked Zachary directly exactly what the program was about and his answer: “Doing tricks with yo-yos and buying the yo-yos”. I understand that I have some special circumstances with my son; however, I fail to believe that he is the ONLY child that came away with absolutely nothing but tricks and yo-yos in his eyes from that program.

When sending our children to school, we expect them to be there to learn and be educated, NOT to be set in front of a commercial. As parents, Chuck and I limit the amount of time our children watch t.v. and which t.v. stations they watch, partially because of the amount of advertisements on many channels. We live in a society where people believe they need to have everything that everyone else has and we’re trying to teach our children that material things are not the way to happiness. Having a good education, being good to others, being a hero to the point they can as a student IS what is important.

So we send them to school, and they are inundated with more and more things to buy (scholastic book fairs, scholastic flyers, fundraisers, and now yo-yos). Then, considering the students see them and are told about buying that AT school, they feel it’s something they HAVE to have in order to be successful at school. Now, I understand the necessity of fundraisers in the time of schools losing government money and having to make tough choices, but maybe a little bit of tact would be something to consider. While the schools are having difficulty, so are many, many families in our community and the constant begging for our school-age children to have something else they saw at school is rather upsetting.

I originally thought that maybe the school paid money for this program, in which I would be very disappointed that monies ultimately deriving from us as tax-payers would be paying for such a program. However, I have a suspicion that NED programmers were asked to come into our school system specifically with the understanding that they would be hawking their wares to our children. From the NED website: “1. FREE The NED show is free when your school chooses our “no-fee option”. By giving a little of your time and by making NED items available for your students to purchase for five days following the show, you are bringing our $1,200 program to your school absolutely FREE. We also pay the state sales tax and return freight.”

In that case, shame on all of you for not seeing this as the merchandising scam that it is.

In contrast, there was a program just the day before this one for the 1st graders concerning BATS. I have no idea how much that program cost to bring to our schools, or if the bat lady did it simply so more and more people could learn and understand bats, but our son learned something from that assembly. He came home that night so excited to tell us all about bats and where they live and what they eat, etc. That is the type of programming that I would expect my child to see when being sent to school.

Again, I do like the concept of the NED program and can see the necessity and good that such a type of assembly can do for the students but feel it was gone about in a completely wrong manner. I know of a school assembly that accomplishes the same goal of this assembly (giving the students self-esteem and helping them to understand the necessity of being a hero to those around them) without the commercialism. If you are interested, I’d be more than happy to help with it.

Sincerely, Lisa

Random Thoughts #5,203

2009-05-19T13:08:00.005-04:00

I honestly have no idea how many Random Thoughts posts I’ve done. I’m pretty sure it’s not 5,000 because I think I’m still under 300 posts total, but hey, a girl can dream right?

I’m doing a random thoughts post today because quite frankly my brain has gone in soooo many different directions lately that I can’t fathom putting together a singular, cohesive post that makes any amount of sense. I’m really starting to wonder if I’m not ADHD too…or maybe just ADD…or maybe I just need to start taking my anti-anxiety pills again.

We’re starting into the “busy season” for us in the family too. Weddings, camping trips, reunions, soccer games, soccer pictures, practices, lots of PR parties, mowing the lawn, traveling to Bay City to help with the in-laws’ lawn, baby showers, trip to Washington DC in July, week-long vacation in August, in addition to just normal every day work and dr. appts. Whew. I’m honestly a little overwhelmed (and tired) just thinking about it!

I’m super excited for our trip to Washington DC in July. We’re staying with a good friend of the family, Dave, who is a SUPER nice guy (if anyone lives in the area and is single…I know someone for you!!) We just found out that the state is giving us 6 unpaid furlough days since the government can’t balance their budget so to not have layoffs (at this moment, anyway) we’re getting unpaid days off. One of those days off is when we’d already taken annual for our DC trip, sooo we extended our DC trip by an extra day! Woohoo! I know the kids are going to have so much fun checking out the Smithsonian Natural History and Air and Space museum and seeing the National Zoo. I love seeing their faces when they see new things or get super excited about whatever they are learning about. Makes being a mom so much fun…and rewarding.

And speaking of learning and doing new things: I wonder sometimes exactly where Zachary comes from. But then again, I think I remember doing homework “just for fun”. Actually, I just emailed my mom and said “Um, mom, did I used to do homework just for fun?” Her reply? “YEP!” I relayed that Zachary has been working on writing his name in cursive (he’s in 1st grade) and that his teacher is ~~pissed~~rather upset with him because she doesn’t want him learning that yet. I remember sitting at a little table where my dad (Thanks Dad!) taught me how to write cursive in 1st or 2nd grade. Mom said “Why discourage them from learning? Teach him at home and explain he can only print at school.” Good advice. Anyway, Zachary has been asking to do math worksheets for fun! Sunday morning his brother wanted him to play basketball with him and Zachary told him “Nah…I want to do some math.” Luke’s face about said it all….Luke is good at math and knows his stuff, but would much rather be playing ball to doing homework on a sunny Sunday morning. So I sat with him and showed him how to add larger numbers and carry numbers over to the tens column, etc. He’s such a fast learner! Last night, he sat in the back of the car and wrote poems the whole way home from the restaurant.

The Princess
The princess was trying to pick out a dress
And her little brother was making a big mess….

That was his first 2 lines…hehe…so cute.

And CUTE brings me to my next subject….Lucas is soo Cute!! This morning I was in the shower when Lucas pops in. I heard someone come in and start rummaging around in the drawers. I stick my head out to see who it is and there is Lucas in his pj’s, looking through daddy’s bathroom drawer. I asked exactly what he was looking for (thinking he wanted “daddy doderant”) when he pulled out the hand mirror. He looks in it and smiles just a bit. I giggled and asked what he was doing. He informed me that he was getting a lot of freckles on his nose. I let him know that I’d been noticing that and that I absolutely love his freckles and they are part of what makes him so adorably cute. He grinned at me and hightailed it back to the kitchen. I have no idea where that all came from…but I have a sneaking suspicion that his brother probably told him he looked like he had poop on his nose or something. Ah……brotherly love. I remember it well.

Ohh, that reminds me…I got the funniest brotherly love video from a friend yesterday. I seriously almost peed myself (not that its that difficult after 3 kids….I think I need to start working with the ben wa balls) while I was watching this video because it is Zachary and Lucas down to a T. Oh…I can sooo see them like this in about 15 years. Zachary will be the one in the sweater vest, shirt and tie…Lucas the one standing. Seriously. Give it a watch.

And not to leave out Miss Elizabeth….

Sometimes she is so stinking cute it makes me want to puke. I wonder if my mom felt like that about me. She’s been letting me braid her hair lately and always wants it in “throo” braids (meaning two) and those two little braids are just so stinking cute. On Sunday, she was really really quiet and that’s not always good…so we sneaked in to see what she was doing and there she was in the middle of her floor trying to put on her roller skates herself. I helped her get them on and then put on her helmet and her and I went out and rollerskated (she skated…I walked…we don’t want the earthquake that would happen when I fell on my ass) on our basketball court for a little bit. I look at her sometimes and just want to hug her and kiss her and squeeze her and consume all her sweet, little girl goodness! Ah, I love this age. Except for the not going to sleep part…I hate that. That part can go away quickly and I swear that I won’t miss it.

And…one last story...Last Friday night, I had a bachelorette party for my cousin. On my way back home, about 6 miles from my house at 10:45 at night, I SHREDDED a tire on my jeep. I called Chuck and asked if he wanted me to call the tow company to change it or he bring our 3 kids out and do it. Considering the kids were sleeping (finally!), I called the tow company and talked to Connie...the dispatcher.

She said it'd be 20 minutes so I called my husband back and she called me but for whatever reason (fate?) my phone didn't beep in to tell me I had a call waiting. So when I did call her back we got all the info done for the tire change and then she says...

Did you voicemail say Pure Romance? Are you a hostess with them...I mean do you sell it...

I tell her that Yes...I'm a consultant and was honestly just on my way home from a party at that moment!!

So she gets all excited and asks if she can call me back off work time and book a party with me!!!So, yay for me!!! Having a booming Pure Romance business is going to help a lot when we have these 6 unpaid furlough days from work this summer!

And these are….the days of my life……….;)

My Husband Rocks!!

2009-05-08T10:32:00.002-04:00

I started reading this other blog called Love, Actually. I….well, I…..Love it. Sorry to be so cliché.

But Cher has such cool ideas for rocking the romance in your relationship and doing it on a budget at the same time. (and I’m not talking the sexual side of it…I can take care of that.) Go on…check it out and tell me that you’re not inspired to do something simply romantic for your significant other.

Anyway, she does a post on Fridays called “MHR: My Husband Rocks” Fridays. (It was actually started by someone else, but I read about it on Cher’s blog, so I’ll give her the credit.) Oftentimes, we don’t tell the most important person in our lives how incredibly much we appreciate them…I know I don’t. Just ask Chuck, he’ll tell you.

But, my husband does rock. Here’s the reasons he rocks this week:
**Last night he made hamburgers on the grill…with grilled buns!...and put worchestershire sauce in the meat because he knows I love it like that. He made the burgers because I said how incredibly good it sounded since the weather is getting warmer.

**After dinner, he got the kids to pick up the yard while I took care of the paperwork side of my party tonight, and then took us in the big truck to get ice cream.

**He’s watching the kids tonight while I go do a Pure Romance party for a good friend of mine. And will finish wrapping a couple of the presents for the kids’ birthday party tomorrow.

**Chuck will be a hands-on dad tomorrow at the birthday party and help with every aspect of it, because that’s just how he rolls.

**He buys me Mt. Dew at the store without me having to ask him to do it. (I’m surprised at how many husbands will go to the store for something and not even ASK their wives if they want something…or just know to bring back their fave pop or snack!)

**Chuck has come up and seen me on his break every day this week. And even after 12 years of being together, I still feel that flutter of excitement in my chest when I see him standing behind me.

I love you babe. Even if you don’t ever comment on my blog. ;)

If you love your significant other, spread the word…do a MHR post and leave me a comment so I can come and read your reasons! v

My VERY FIRST (of many to come) GIVEAWAY!

2009-05-07T12:52:00.002-04:00

So, according to my Pure Romance organizer, May is National Masturbation Month!

Now, I know that a lot of people don’t feel comfortable talking about self-pleasuring; however, I’d like to challenge that taboo. Especially for women.

Patty Brisben has a really good question/answer section on the Pure Romance website and one of the questions was about not reaching orgasm with her partner (do you ever have that problem?) Her answer was excellent!

The first thing that I recommend is that you take the time to explore your own body. Spend some time alone exploring yourself, find what areas bring you pleasurable sensations, as well as learn which areas bring you to orgasm when stimulated. Once you have a greater understanding of your ‘hot spots’ you can share what you learned with your boyfriend. Orgasm is as much mental as it is a physical response and we have found that sometimes women pressure themselves too much to reach orgasm in the presence of their partners. I promise that you will benefit tremendously by figuring things out on your own and then integrating what you learn when you are with your boyfriend.

This goes for men as well, in my opinion. If we are able to know what we like sexually we will be better equipped to talk to our partners and make sex more explosive.

So in celebration of National Masturbation Month, I am giving away a Silver Bullet and a 4 oz bottle of Just Like Me. That’s $28.50 for FREE folks! The silver bullet is an awesome toy for those beginning to understand themselves or a nice stand-by for those more seasoned women. It vibrates. It’s small. It’s not penis-shaped (let’s face it sometimes that scares men and women away). It can be used by yourself for some fun one-on-one time, but can be used with your partner for a little extra stimulation during your romp through the sheets. The Just Like Me is just what it says. It’s a lube that is just like you!! Ever use lube and go away feeling…..icky? Or have to continue to use more and more lube because it seems to dry up? This lube is just like the sexual juices that your body naturally makes…so no sticky feeling, no re-adding lube (because a little bit of saliva re-activates it!), no unnatural smells, and best of all….great lubrication so you can enjoy yourself!!

So, you want to be entered? Leave me a comment with your favorite Pure Romance product. Don’t have a favorite yet? Go to my website (there's monthly specials listed there too!) and find something that you’d love to try! (Remember…Pure Romance isn’t all toys with motion!! There are wonderful bath and beauty products and sexy lingerie as well!)

Want a second entry? Write a blog piece about this giveaway or link back to this piece from your blog and leave me a comment that you’ve done so. I’ll enter you a second time!!

Winner will be drawn on May 31st!!

Mean ol' momma

2009-05-06T14:44:00.003-04:00

Two years ago we struggled ~~daily~~ (who am I kidding?) multiple times a day with Lucas and/or Zachary and their behavior.

Parts of their behavior was because I was tired and had a very short fuse due to living on 4 ½ hours of sleep daily, part of Zachary’s behavioral issues were the ADHD/bipolar which we are close to having a good handle on.

Part of the behavioral issues was ineffective parenting.

Last year, we went through a really rough time with both Lucas and Zachary and we started seeing a therapist. For myself, Lucas and Zachary, separately and also had family sessions. Nothing in this world could have helped us more.

In fact, I just called Dr. Frank today to see if we can get in before June 2 as Zachary is having more and more difficulty in school and at home, yet again. (Today he got sent home from school for throwing his journal at his teacher. *sigh*) Dr. Frank has helped us with different areas of parenting as well as helping Zachary to understand things on his level. Last fall, Zachary went to group therapy once a week where they worked on things like transitioning to another topic, listening to the person speaking and taking turns while talking, not always having to be first in line, eye contact, etc. Which probably sound like normal every day occurrences for most people, but for kids like Zachary….not so much.

He’s not first in line? Throws his WHOLE day off. Sometimes. Depending on the mood. And that’s the frustrating part.

Anyway, I got side-tracked.

Chaos seems to reign in our house…and chaos is NOT good for Zachary…or for Chuck for that matter who deals with the same issues as Zachary does. One of the things that we’ve tried hard to work on is routine. Having a schedule and routine and sticking to it. That seems to help everyone. (Schedule and routine has been thrown out of whack due to soccer and the days getting longer.)

Having a tidier house so people do not feel overwhelmed. (Not so tidy right now.)

But we’ve also taken a look at our discipline and after going over all the array of types of discipline we used and not finding anything that really worked for us we’ve found something that does…most of the time. And for now, that’s all that we can hope for.

So, I’ll tell you our secret…and hope that maybe it helps you with any behavioral issues. But I warn you...I'm the mean ol' momma....just ask my kids. (or take a look at the tantrum from Miss Elizabeth).

Everything in our house is a privilege. You earn it. Just as I earn the right to live in my house through working and paying the mortgage, the kids earn their things through good behavior and chores.

And things have never been better in the house. That’s not to say we don’t have glitches…we obviously do. But it’s much better than before.

What’s nice about this? It’s predictable. The kids know what has to be done and how they must behave in order to earn their game time, t.v. time, the privilege of eating dinner as a family, everything.

So, in order to earn game time, Zachary must have good behavior at school. He gets daily reports sent home with 8 different questions on them in which he can earn up to 8 yeses. He gets 5 minutes of game time per yes. However, he cannot get that game time until his homework is completed (correctly) for the day.

In order to earn t.v. time, the kids must clean their respective rooms (Zachary cleans the bedroom and Lucas cleans the living room and then they switch the next night). They must be cleaned in 30 minutes, which we set on a timer, in order to receive 30 minutes of t.v. time as a family in the evening before bed. This has drastically reduced the amount of yelling, arguing, crying, and ranting about clean up time to nil because we do not nag them during this time.

If they’d like to sit at the table with the family, they must have appropriate table manners. Otherwise, they are asked to leave until they can have the appropriate manners or they can eat after we’re all done.

We work on a two-time rule…and trust me…it’s hard sometimes to not scream and yell at them to “just do it!!” but it does help the kids to do things without getting my hackles up. How does the two-time rule work? It’s easy….I ask them to do something. They choose not to. I say “This is the second and last time I’m asking you to…….*insert whatever you asked them to do*”. If they still choose not to do it, then I instruct them to head on out to their quiet spot until they are ready to do whatever I asked. This is similar to a time-out…but I don’t give them a specific amount of time. If after 30 seconds, they are ready to do as I asked, FANTASTIC. If it takes them 1 hour to do as I ask…that’s their choice. And then we ignore them. Yes. We ignore our children until they are ready to follow the directions.

One of the things that we stress to the kids is this is their choice. It’s no longer us yelling at them to do things. It’s their choice to do things as we ask and they then receive the consequence of not getting the privilege of game time, t.v. time, free time, whatever if they choose not to.

It’s worked. Things changed. Now we just need to regroup and get back to that point.

Using and Abusing Grandparents

2009-05-05T10:25:00.002-04:00

I think sometimes that I should have been born in an earlier generation. Or maybe it’s just because I was brought up in an “old-fashioned” household where Mom was a stay-at-home mom and Dad was the breadwinner. And family and friends were all one and we saw our grandparents with our parents often.

So this new generation of expecting the grandparents to be babysitters/daycare is completely beyond my realm of thinking. And quite frankly, I thank the Lord for that.

I am of the belief that grandparents should be just that. Grandparents. They shouldn’t have the responsibility of disciplining the children; they should be allowed to indulge them with the little things that grandparents do.

Like jelly beans from the jelly bean jar.

Or the occasional sneaked cookie from the cookie jar before dinner.

Or taking them out to dinner and a movie for a treat.

Or letting them stay up later than normal to finish the movie on the rare occasion that they sleep over.

Grandparents shouldn’t be a second set of parents.

We ask my parents to watch our children overnight once, maybe twice, a year. Usually for our anniversary my mom and dad will take all the kids and watch them for us so that Chuck and I can have a nice evening out to ourselves, get a hotel, relax and have a few drinks without having to worry about getting up at ~~the butt-crack of dawn~~ 7:00 am with the kids. They will also watch the kids for a few hours about 5-6 times a year when we visit friends in my hometown (which is where my mom and dad still live).

As the kids get a little bit older, they will probably start going on a one-on-one basis to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa to have some alone time and do fun Grandma and Grandpa things like camping, checkers, Uno, eating pizza and bologna and cheese and crackers. Zachary did this last year with his grandma and grandpa and while it was an extraordinarily chaotic weekend, he did have fun.

And that, to me, is what being with Grandma and Grandpa should be about. I never want to put my parents or Chuck’s parents into the position of being the bad guy. Now, that’s not to say that my parents haven’t had to speak to my kids about their behavior while they are staying with them, but it’s not that often of an occurance. Usually, when we are at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, Chuck and I are there too and WE are the bad guys and get to tell them no. And Grandpa and Grandma get to do the fun things with them. As it should be.

Now, I know I will hear a lot of flack about this and how my kids will never get to truly have a relationship with their grandparents if not left alone.

I say that’s complete bunk.

You would never see my kids with their grandma and grandpa and think that they don’t have a fantastic, loving, understanding, fun relationship with them. My kids lurve their grandparents. We go camping with my family at least 4 times a summer where they get to go fishing with Grandpa and play cards with Grandma. We see Chuck’s family about every 6 weeks and spend the weekend with them where the kids help Grandma with her weeding or other garden chores and play computer games with Grandpa. And that’s as it should be.

Both of our parents (minus Chuck’s dad who is disabled) still work full-time. They are busy with their work, volunteer work, hobbies, etc. They have raised their children. And I like to think that they raised their children to be responsible adults. I don’t feel that they need to be put into a position where they are helping to raise mine.

I feel fortunate though, because I know if I *need* that help, they’ll be there for me. And for that I am ever grateful.

Just another manic.....Thursday???

2009-04-30T16:54:00.001-04:00

Every have one of those mornings?

This is a pretty accurate account of how my morning went.

At approximately the butt crack of dawn, or maybe even sooner, Elizabeth started crying incessantly for some reason (she rarely does this) so I went and got her and brought her to bed with me hoping to God she’d go back to sleep. After about 15 minutes of playing and rolling around, she did.

About the instant she fell asleep and I was starting to doze back off, I felt a heaviness on my legs. I look up in the mostly darkness to see Lucas crawling his way up into my bed, seeing Elizabeth sleeping between Chuck and I and looking extremely offended. That is his spot afterall, doesn’t she know that? I encouraged him back into his bed…which he refused…so I told him to lay down at the end of the bed. I guess he took that as ON my legs.

At 5:05, Chuck’s alarm starts going off and I tell Lucas that it’s time for him to go back to his own bed. Lucas lays there….much like a lump…on my legs. I pull him up to me, give him a hug, and ~~push~~ gently set him down from the side of my bed where he scampers off to his room and Elizabeth continues to sleep on as do I.

My alarm went off at 6:20, which is when I start the 50 minute habit of pushing snooze.

I get up at 7:10, everyone else is still sleeping so I go in and start the process of waking up Zachary so he can put on his Daytrana patch. I take this opportunity to switch the laundry over and start a load of diapers. (Yes, I cloth diaper still…occasionally…but am trying to do it full-time again).

Go in and try to wake up Zachary again. Ask him if he’s dry…YES! I finally get him out of the bed and he goes into the bathroom, I thought to go pee. Elizabeth wakes up and tries to get into the bathroom. Zachary starts yelling at her to get out. Break up the squirmish, put Zachary’s patch on him, he gets into the shower.

I make Zachary a cheese quesadilla and pack his lunch. I fold the load of laundry and try to find the other red soccer sock for pictures tonight. No luck. Lucas wakes up and comes in all sleepy faced saying “morning momma” (oh, how I love the wake up faces!) I ask him to go in and tell Zachary to get out of the shower as I’m still folding the laundry.

7:45 Zachary STILL not out. I tell him it’s time now! So he finally gets out.

I put away the boys’ laundry (usually they do this, but didn’t feel like the fight this morning) and start the shower for Elizabeth and I. Yet another morning of taking a shower with the baby. Tell the boys that the cinnamon rolls are on the table and they get to frost their own this morning. Woohoo!

Get showered, get Elizabeth showered, and we’re out. Before Eric arrives…Thank God. Get Elizabeth dressed in her pretty ASIL Diaper with the embroidered flower on the bum and she fights about what shirt she wants to wear (I’m in for it when she gets older!)

Get myself dressed and Eric arrives. I tell Zachary to grab his backpack and head out…I’m right behind him. Search all over for my work badge when Chuck calls asking me how things are going and reminding me to pick up the veggies for his work potluck today. He tells me where my badge went to and I head out the door. Where Zachary is standing with the mail from yesterday.

So, we climb into jeep and head off to the school, only 2 minutes behind where we should be. Awesome! That’s better than a lot of days.

When I got to school I reminded Zachary (as I always do) to grab his backpack. Look.

Look again.

No backpack.

DANG IT! I know he had it when I told him to get into the jeep…I saw him have it in his hand in the house! Tell him to get into class and I’ll bring his backpack back.

Stop at the local grocery store before heading home to get the vegetables. Go into my bag to get my wallet.

No. Wallet.

Scream inside. Remember that I left it sitting on my counter at work.

Run home to get checkbook, construction paper (to start the leaves for the Family Tree project we have to finish tonight) and what do I see?
Yep…you guessed it. My son would lose his head if it weren’t attached. I found the backpack lying in the driveway.

Grab everything I need, go back to the grocery store and get all the veggies for the potluck, drop off Zachary’s backpack at school (where when I go in the kids are doing NOTHING ½ hour after school started!) and jump back in the jeep to head to work.

Only 20 minutes late. Woohoo! Not too bad for a chaotic morning!

Laughter & Sex are "The Best Medicine"

2009-04-29T16:30:00.003-04:00

My mornings typically consist of getting ready for work, packing lunches for Chuck, I and Zachary, getting Zachary motivated by ~~threatening~~ motivating him with reminders of extra game time, making breakfasts for everyone, getting Elizabeth dressed, making sure that Zachary has everything needed for school and has his shoes on the right feet.

I do all of this in 1 hour until it’s time to take Zachary to school and I get one my way to work.

My bright spot of the morning (besides the first sleepy “morning Momma”’s and morning kisses) is my solitary trip to work (all 10 minutes of it) where I can listen in peace to Bob and Tom.

I love Bob and Tom. They make me laugh and I usually learn some little tid-bits that I didn’t know before. Plus, I love hearing the wacky, usually upbeat, news stories instead of all the gloom and doom you normally hear. One of the first thoughts I had when we were told about going to days was “Woohoo! I get to listen to Bob and Tom again!”
Today, I was listening to my daily dose of Bob and Tom when I heard Costaki Economopoulos (yea, say that 3 times fast) and his topic for the week was laughter. Did you know that the average 3 year old will laugh 300 times a day?

The average adult? 17 times a day. Seriously, only 17 times. Slightly sad isn’t it? But I guess reality catches up with us as adults. Or maybe it takes more to make us laugh as we are more jaded.

I’m sure that everyone has heard the saying “Laughter is the best medicine” and Costaki was expounding on all the benefits of laughter

*Increases blood flow
*Boosts Relaxation
*Gives more restful sleep

Much like an orgasm.

Huh. That got me thinking. Laughter has many of the same properties of an orgasm. It’s like an orgasm that is acceptable in public.

So, if Laughter is the best medicine…wouldn’t sex be considered “the best medicine” too? I spent some time on google looking up the health benefits of sex and found out that:

*Relieves stress.
*Boosts your immunity.
*Burns calories.
*Improves cardiovascular health.
*Reduces pain (yes, it does! Endorphins released actually help to diminish pain!)
*Reduces the risk of prostrate cancer.
*Boosts self-esteem/Decreases depression
*Helps you sleep better (which is linked to good things like maintaining a healthy weight & blood pressure).

Seems to me that the old adage of “an apple a day will keep the dr. away” should be changed to “Sex and laughter every day will keep the dr. away!”

I think I’m in the right business. I shouldn’t be called a consultant, I should be called a “healthy life provider”. Every Pure Romance party I’ve done, I have laughed so much that my face hurts. And the guests laugh as much, if not more, than me. Then, after they go home, laden with their Pure Romance products, they get “lucky”. (Well, maybe not that night, but at least I know that they WILL be getting teh sex soon enough!)

So, my prescription for you is to laugh at least 17 times tonight and have sex. And call me in the morning (for more product!)

Dinner, Hot Tub, no kids...oh my!

2009-04-25T09:19:00.002-04:00

I am fortunate enough to have a friend who has three children with kids almost exactly our kids age. Fortunate because not only does Natalie understand a lot of the issues we go through, but also because we've decided to start watching the other ones' 3 kids so that each couple can have "date night" and reconnect with their spouse without having to spend a fortune on a sitter for the night. Trading babysitting duties is awesome...especially when the kids play so nicely together!

So, last night after work, Chuck and I dropped the kids off at Natalie's and headed off for a few hours of peaceful solitude and birthday fun!

We stopped at Popeyes and got some spicy chicken (their spicy chicken is yummy!). We don't get it often since it's about 25 minutes away...and it doesn't seem worth the drive for fast food. We usually would have gone out to a nice restaurant but we were on a time schedule because we had 7:00 pm reservations for

HOT TUBBING.

Whoohoo!

If we win the lottery (fat chance in hell), we're going to build a nice house with a cedar hot tub/sauna room. Because I lurve hot tubs. It was so nice and relaxing. Maybe even a bit too relaxing as our legs felt like jelly when we got out.

But we sat and talked uninterrupted and it was so wonderful. I didn't want to spend a lot of money (since money is on the short side of things recently) so for an hour and half of solitude, relaxing, and some flirting and fun, we spent $35.

Not too bad for a yearly birthday treat.

So what's all the "buzz" about?

2009-04-23T18:13:00.003-04:00

April is a great, great month.

Why do you ask?

It's my birthday! And as some of you may know from past posts, I lurve my birthday. I know as I get older, I should probably start liking my birthday less and less, but I don't. I'm still like a little kid in a candy store. I think it's because I have a child deep down inside me (hmmm, as I type this I'm watching icarly on Nick. You'd think it was because of the kids, but nope...I love this show. So I guess my inner child isn't really that deep.)

Not only is it my birthday, but this has been a huge month for me in lots of ways. I finally decided after a couple of years of contemplation (indecisive, much?) to join blogher and the blogher ad network. So you're going to be seeing blogher ads on the side bar (over there..look!) and down below (see it?) I also joined SITS comment sistahood. I've already had a few people stop in and show me the comment love (a shout out to Love Actually and Land of Dragons and Butterflies.)

But that's not all!

This has been a big month for me with my new business, Pure Romance. Yep, you heard it right. I became a full fledge consultant and this month I've had 3 in-home, women-only parties. (It might not sound like a lot, but I'm only planning on doing 4 a month with my full time job and family)

What is Pure Romance you might ask?

It's something that is really near and dear to my heart and the mission of the CEO, Patty Brisben, is something that clicks so well with me. It's all about putting the "O" back into the romance in your relationship. Pure Romance is also about empowering women in lots of different aspects. Empowering women to find their own inner sexual being and being okay with it. Empowering women to take control of their own sexuality and bedroom antics. Empowering women to have their own business and provide for their families, themselves, and give women a chance to get paid to party (one of my favorite parts!)

So, every month I'm going to be doing some feature pieces on romance, relationships and your own sexuality and let everyone in on my specials for the month!

So, what's going on for April?

As the saying goes, "April showers bring May flowers" and here in Michigan we've been seeing a lot of showers. Why not take a hint from Mother Nature and and create some steamy showers with your partner? Or take some much needed alone time for yourself in the shower?

Check out some of the waterproof toys and specials . There are some items up to 50% off!

If you have any questions, please feel free to comment or email me at lisaleibrand @ pureromance.com and I'll do my best to answer them!

Un-Sleeping Beauty

2009-04-22T11:37:00.002-04:00

My beautiful, darling little girl has also been an angel of a sleeper. I read on the moms forums about children that will not sleep unless nestled in the arms of their mother then have to be laid down ever so gently so as not to awaken the sleeping ~~beast~~ beauty or else have the whole process start over again.

Since Elizabeth was little our routine has been the same. Jammies, milk, bed, books, music on, light down, door shut, sleepy time for Miss Elizabeth. She rarely fussed; rarely woke up in the middle of the night past the time she was 6 months old or so.

I loved her sleeping pattern. Especially given the fact that our soon to be 5 and 7 year olds still have us lay down with them at night so that they won’t screw around and actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
So, why exactly, as we near the age of 2, has she decided that she doesn’t need to sleep?

About 2 months ago, our problem started. She learned to climb from her crib. No big deal, right? Because she couldn’t leave her room, she would get out of her crib, play a little bit by herself, climb back into her crib when she was tired and go to sleep.

Well, no more. Now she also knows how to open the doors (and I should mention she also knows how to open the baby-gate too.) So, I follow our routine. Shut the door and literally 30 seconds later she’s opening that door back up.

Now, I’ve been trying to “Nanny-fy” her following the bedtime rules from the super-nanny. I’ve sat next to her bed with my back to her. And when she’s quiet and I think she’s asleep I’ll look back to a little face literally squished between the bars staring at me. Or, nights such as last, she’ll lay down in her bed and reach her arms through her crib as far as possible and pull my hair, play with my neck, try to grab my shirt. And then I moved farther away, so she laid there and kicked her feet against the wall for about 40 minutes.

I’ve tried to sit out in the hallway and when she gets out of bed, put her back in bed, and again…and again…and again.

I’m TIRED! After a long day of work, housework, kids, husband, PR business, 3 hours of putting a child to bed is more than enough to test my patience.

Know how we got her to sleep for the last 4 days after a few hours of fighting with her? Bringing her to our bed where we can hold her and keep her still until she stops fighting sleep.

She’s still taking naps and I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time to give up the naps in favor of sleeping at night. But, seriously? She’s only 2. *insert mommy whine here* How can she be old enough to give up the naps? I want my excellent sleeping baby back! But I think those baby days are now gone for good. But we’ll keep working on the excellent sleeping part.

I'm gonna KUNG-FU you!

2009-04-10T10:39:00.006-04:00

We are so incredibly lucky. We have an absolutely amazing babysitter. I mean sure, he's not the best about making the kids pick up, but that's minor in the long run of things.

And, yes, I said he. Eric is our sitter. He has been an occasional date night sitter for us for about 2 years, ever since his sister moved away. Ashley was the boys' sitter from the time that Zachary was 6 weeks old. She was amazing too. We got lucky to find such a great family to help us with our children.

Now that I'm on days, we had to find someone to watch the children full time. It was MUCH harder than I had ever thought. First, because we were having a lot of behavioral problems at the time, and I was deathly afraid to allow anyone to watch my kids again. Second, was the cost issue. We solved that by having Eric, whom I already trusted, come to the house to watch Lucas and Elizabeth, and Zachary if school wasn't in session.

And since December 1, there have been several times that my heart has melted for this young man and I thank God that we were so lucky to have him.

This is one of those times. Since Eric has started watching the kids, he has worked with Lucas on his letters, numbers, math, and reading. Lucas is now reading at a kindy level and doing the same math problems that Zachary is doing. They do fun things together to learn the words. This "comic book" was something that Luke and Eric put together. Lucas wrote a couple of words that he knew and then illustrated a lot of the pictures. Eric did the rest. What came out of that culmination is a fantastic little kung-fu comic book that Lucas can practice his reading on that he created! How cool is that?

Oh, and I absolutely love the ending. So enjoy! (I know I did!)

RAWR means I love you in Dinosaur

2009-04-09T10:37:00.004-04:00

I HAVE to buy that shirt for Elizabeth...but I've only seen it in big sizes. Why? Because my daughter loves dinosaurs and saying Rawr.

Case in point...this video I took of her last night. She's so stinking cute. Not that I'm biased or anything. (oh and please disregard the pile of laundry waiting to be folded in the background. That got done this morning!)

Stay Tuned...I'll have more later today from Lucas.

Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde

2009-03-13T16:19:00.001-04:00

So yesterday, after writing my Thursday post, I was thinking about something to write for my Friday “TGIF” post. I decided before I left work, that I needed to write about Zachary.

Why?

So glad you asked! Because at the end of January, his therapist came to the school to meet with the teachers, principal, special ed director, counselors, parapro and us for his IEP--or in layman’s terms Individualized Educational Plan.

During this meeting, Dr. Frank explained what actually goes on inside a child’s brain…a child like Zachary and gave them real life examples of how to deal with situations that arise. And she did it so much more eloquently than I ever could have. Here’s the thing that was a little annoying to me: Nothing that she said is really anything that I hadn’t said before. But before, I was the crazy, overprotective mother. Dr. Frank has a PhD behind her name which made them sit up and listen. And I’m thankful for that.

Because after that point, and for the last 6 weeks things have been going along fabulously. No restraints at home. No restraints at school. On March 2, he did get sent home for throwing a tantrum and throwing his crayons on the floor (got sent home for it being an “act of violence”) but I was proud that he didn’t throw them AT someone. That’s improvement! He has been having really good reports come home daily (6-8 yeses a day with 8 being the most he can get!)

Today would have been one whole week of 8 yeses a day. That’s what we were striving for…and if he achieved that he’d have gotten a special treat this weekend.

I should have NEVER thought this. I swear I jinxed it.

Last Night: Bedtime.

He was working on a cootie catcher (didn’t we do those later in elementary school?) I had already told him twice to get into bed. Lucas and I had read his KEEP books and worked on his sight word list already. It’s time to get into bed. I tell Zachary that because he didn’t follow directions there would be no book tonight. Still, nothing. I go into the kitchen and take the cootie catcher away from him. He grabs it back rips it to shreds, starts kicking me. This starts a 40 minute war with Mr. Hyde. As per our agreement with Dr. Frank and Zachary, he is not allowed to hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, attack physically in any way anyone purposefully. If he does, and tries to continue to do so or hurt himself, he will be physically restrained.

My child is strong. He’s a 6 year old, 65 lb muscle machine. Chuck and I restrained Zachary until he told us he was ready to be calm again. Then he and I cried together. I explained that I do not want to hurt him. I do not like restraining him. It hurts my feelings just as it hurts his feeling to have me do it. (tears are welling up now) We fell asleep cuddling together. Mr. Hyde was gone and my adorable, loving Dr. Jekyll was back.

I was worried about what today would hold and so was not horribly surprised when I got a call from the school to come and pick up Zachary for fighting. However, the situation is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Another boy started pushing Zachary (this has been confirmed by both children) and Zachary asked him to stop, but didn’t push back (again, confirmed by both children). Zachary got angrier and angrier as the other boy kept pushing until Zachary snapped and punched him and ran away to get control.

Now I don’t condone violence. But Zachary was the only one sent home. Didn’t that bullying-violence kinda go both ways? I’m proud that Zachary stood up for himself….even if I don’t think he was necessarily right for punching.

When I got there to pick up Zachary, he was already calm and collected and had processed the events with the sub-principal. Everything was fine and right again.

I don’t think I have to say it, but Zachary didn’t get a perfect day today. Like I said…I think I jinxed it. I hope we have a good weekend….pray we don’t have Mr. Hyde in our presence.

My new resolution

2009-03-12T11:56:00.006-04:00

I've thought about this long and hard.

I've decided that I'm going to work to post every day for the rest of the month of March. Kind of like my own artistic, mental break. Plus, honestly, I LOVE going back and reading my thoughts and feelings and what the kids were doing later that month, that year, or the next.

Now, here's the problem. After I made this resolution yesterday and started on my way to doing that by posting for my first time in a month or so, I found out this morning that my wonderful, darling husband somehow knocked our laptop off the arm of the couch and onto the floor. Breaking off the pin of the power cord.

Fantastic.

Because I don't know about your laptops, but ours has a battery lifespan of, oh, about 7.5 minutes before it's beeping at us saying "Hey! Plug me in, I'm dying over here!"

So the simple thing is to go out and buy a new power cord, right? Sure! But see, we've made another resolution which is to stick to our budget! Which is much easier said than done as there is so much fun stuff out there to do and see and buy with or for our kids and ourselves. Problem is, there's not enough money to buy anything off the budget and still pay our bills and our babysitter. Oh, and food.

And since I'm on the topic of food. My kids eat. A LOT. Since last Thursday (when I went grocery shopping for our 2 week supply of food) they have eaten 5 boxes of cereal, 1 box of oatmeal, 16 waffles, 12 krabby patties; that's just for breakfasts! I don't know what we're going to do when the boys get older and really hit their growth spurts! (I'll jump to growth spurts in just a minute.) This morning I explained that I wasn't sure what we going to eat for breakfast next week as I won't be shopping until next Thursday and they only have about 12 krabby patties left plus a few waffles. I guess I'll be getting up a few extra minutes early to make them some farm fresh scrambled eggs.

Now, I understand that eating all this healthy food and lots of it along with their 3 glasses of milk a day causes them to grow. But seriously? In September, we bought Zachary several pairs of new-to-us jeans in a size 8 slim. While the slims are starting to get slightly snug, they are not tight. However, the size 8 length is something to be desired. Most of those jeans are now about 3/4 inch above his ankles. He's still only SIX and will be needing size 9 slims all too soon. Thank God that summer is coming and he can wear shorts.

(Zachary being a spy...with his lego gun, spy gear radio, and swim goggles)

And Lucas isn't much better. He's in size 6's already and isn't even in kindergarden yet. I went to a friends' house the other night and Lucas was standing a good 4 inches over Gabe...who is a year older than him. It always surprises me to see my children next to kids of their own age.

(Lucas enjoying his pizza at the indoor waterpark. Most of the best pics of Luke are of eating, hmmmmmm.....)

So, look for me. Mark your pages. Put it on the calendar. And bug me if I don't post ;)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T12:24:00.005-04:00

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER:

High Pitch Eric

2009-02-09T15:29:00.005-05:00

As most everyone knows I have 2 sons and 1 daughter. Zachary, my eldest, is the creative one. Elizabeth, my youngest and only daughter, is a delightful mix of girly girl and tomboy.

And then there's Lucas. He's the manly boy. He likes fishing, monster trucks, car races and football. He likes to get dirty, play in the mud, shoot hoops and pretend he is any one of a menagerie of superheroes. He has stuffed animals, sure, but they are a stuffed alligator who's ferocious and a huge stuffed dog named Boomer. He keeps his hair super short (typically...right now it's touching the tips of his ears) and usually wears it spiked in the front...by his own choice.

But then there's one part of Lucas that doesn't fit at all. His voice. Chuck calls him our "high-pitch Eric". It's usually part of Lucas' charm that is him; but then there are the times when he whines when I swear his voice could shatter glass.

However, even with his high voice (and he is only 4 1/2!) NO ONE has ever mistaken Lucas for a girl. Not even as a baby.

Until this weekend.

We went swimming at our local aquatic center on Saturday afternoon. We've been trying to make this a regular habit as it gets us out of the house, active and playing together as a family. And for only $10 for the entire family, it's cheaper than most things we can do out there right now when it's so bitter cold. Per usual, we got ready in the family changing rooms (easier to have both parents on hand to corral the kids), got the kids into their life jackets (my kids sink like stones), and out into the warm exercise pool. There was only one other family in there. Awesome!! I love having room to move around and play.

Lucas wears a red life jacket and blue/red Hawaiin flowered swim trunks. No shirt. He and Daddy were playing football when Chuck said "Lucas, it's coming to you!"

A grandmother from the other family pipes up and states "You named your girl, your daugher, Lucas?"

Chuck and I stopped and kinda looked; I'm sure we were looking rather confused. Chuck explained that no...Our daughters name was Elizabeth, his name (pointing at Lucas) is Lucas and his name (pointing to Zachary) is Zachary.

The woman looks at Lucas again and states "Ohhh, he's a boy?!"

Now, I understand that he has a rather high voice. But seriously? He's wearing no shirt, short hair, boy trunks and his name is Lucas. Hmmmm...that seems rather self-evident to me.

I kinda hope that his voice catches up with his attitude and demeanor before high school....kids can be really cruel.

Good Samaritan--Kiddie Style

2009-02-06T13:46:00.003-05:00

I was reading a magazine this morning that Zachary brought home yesterday from school called "Parent & Child". (I think it's from Scholastic not that that makes any dang bit of difference.) I found it on the kitchen chair this morning and thought I'd do a little perusing while I was waiting for the shower to warm up and the kids were still sleeping.

They had a really interesting article in there about teaching your children good deeds and thinking about others at even the earliest of ages and tips/ideas on things to do that are age appropriate.

I found the article inspiring and thought-provoking. In the past, we've introduced the idea of thinking of others and giving of ourselves by having a yearly pilgrammage to buy toys that they pick out and give to "Toys for Tots" during the Christmas season. The last couple of years we haven't done this...I guess the excuse is we've been too busy. But I think it's really important to teach the kids that we are very fortunate to have the things that we do have. And I'm not just speaking of material things....yes, it's nice that we have the house, car, etc. But I'm talking more about family. There are so many kids out there that have no one that care for them. No moms and dads or moms and dads that could give a shit less about them. THAT is what I want the kids to understand....how incredibly important the relationships of family and good friends are. One of the lessons that we've been working on in therapy with Zachary is looking outside of himself. Apparently children like Zachary are very, very focused on only themselves so it's important to push him to think of others. Why? Well, some simple reasons that root themselves in socially acceptable behavior....like not *ALWAYS* having to be first in line. Asking questions when others are speaking to you. Things like that.

Some of the suggestions were simple and easy to do...and everything was age appropriate. Such as:

* On their birthdays, picking out a toy or donating money to a local children's home.
* Making sandwiches and decorating the bags/boxes and dropping them off at the local homeless shelter.
* Volunteering at the humane society feeding and watering or just playing with the animals.
* Putting some of their allowance each week into a jar and when the jar is full they get to choose where to donate it.
* Walk with the kids in a 5k race for a charitable organization. Explain to the kids what its for and why its so important.

There were a bunch more, but those are the ones that stuck out in my mind. I googled the topic "kids doing good" and tons of references came up including this book: Doing Good Together. So I encourage you to find time to teach your children about charity. And if you do charitable deeds with your kids, what do you do?

25 Things about Hubby and Me

2009-02-05T15:55:00.003-05:00

I wanted to get a post out there today for all my loyal readers. (The 2 of you I know that read...) and I have an idea but honestly I'm so irritable and attention deficited today that I can't focus enough to write the blog I want to write. So hopefully you'll get that tomorrow.

For now...Enjoy 25 facts about hubby and me, as seen by my side of the relationship. I'm sure he'll tell you something different! This is kind of like the 25 things - except there are pre-decided questions and it's about you and your spouse, not just you. Come on, play along - inquiring minds want to know! ;-)

♥ What are your middle names? Marie and David

♥ How long have you been together?Together almost 12 years and married 7 1/2 years

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating? About 2 months, if you can call what we did dating.

♥ Who asked who out? Um...well, I guess he was the one who suggested it.

♥ How old are each of you? Hubby is 40. I am 31.

♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most? My brothers. We see his sister as little as possible.

♥ Do you have any children together? All 3.

♥ What about pets? As the boys informed me last night we have 7 pets. 5 fish and 2 dogs.

♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? Being in a house that's too small for all of us and it's constantly cluttered.

♥ Did you go to the same school? Nope, not at all.

♥ Are you from the same home town? Nope, but close. Our parents only lived about 5 minutes from each other.

♥ Who is the smartest? Chuck. But I'm pretty smart as well.

♥ Who is the most sensitive? Me. Hands down. However, Chuck is very sentimental. Not that he lets everyone see that.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple? A couple. Hmmm. Claddaugh's Irish Pub.

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? London, England for our honeymoon.

♥ Who has the craziest exes? Well, that's gotta be him because I don't have any exes.

♥ Who has the worst temper? Me, without a doubt.

♥ Who does the cooking? Chuck. Every day I come home to a hot dinner on the table.

♥ Who is more social? Definitely me. If it weren't for me, he'd be a hermit holed up somewhere.

♥ Who is the neat-freak? Depends on where the cycle is at, but usually Chuck.

♥ Who is the more stubborn? Me. Ask anybody in my family.

♥ Who hogs the bed? Jake (the dog) or Lucas. If neither of them are in bed, Chuck....

♥ Who wakes up earlier? Chuck on the weekdays (5:30 am); Me on the weekends (7:30 am)

♥ Where was your first date? First date was at Don Pablo's (YUM!) but our first hookup was at my house at a party.

♥ Who has the bigger family? Me, hands down. Chuck has a hard time understanding my ties to a big family.

♥ Do you get flowers often? Zachary gets me flowers sometimes (he did yesterday). From Chuck....never anymore.

♥ How do you spend the holidays? Traveling from one set of grandparents to another.

♥ Who is more jealous? I used to be, but not anymore. Now neither of us is jealous, really.

♥ How long did it take to get serious? About 2 months, I guess. By 8 months of dating we moved in together.

♥ Who eats more? Hubby

♥ Who does/ did the laundry? Me.

♥ Who’s better with the computer?Him. Unless it's typing...then, me.

♥ Who drives when you are together?Usually he does. But I will occassionally.

So, I'd be curious to hear about your relationship!!

Big Owie=1, Elizabeth=0

2009-02-03T13:49:00.002-05:00

So after 3 children and nearly 7 years, last night was the closest we came to taking a child to the hospital for a broken bone. Luckily, we didn't have to, but Elizabeth went from a walking and running child back to a crawling, crying baby in the blink of an eye. All thanks to a big "owie!". It was clean sweep time for the boys (they have 30 timed minutes to clean the bedroom, living room and hallway. If they don't complete their tasks to my inspection, they don't get to watch t.v. for the evening.) Lucas apparently didn't want Elizabeth in his room, so he put the kids' stools in the doorway. Why he didn't just shut the door, I have no idea. Probably so he could continue to monkey-around with his brother instead of clean.

Elizabeth, being the smart girl she is, climbed onto the stools and was standing there, just inside Lucas' room. Lucas decided that he didn't like that and pushed her off. Landing wrong on her foot/ankle and subsequently screaming incessantly. She pushed herself up and wobbled/half crawled to me and I saw that something was majorly wrong from the way she was limping. I had her try to take a couple steps towards Daddy and it was no better. He picked her up and felt her leg and the look of concern on his face made me more than a little worried. Chuck doesn't get that look too often. But, in retrospect, Elizabeth is his little girl.

We took off Elizabeth's pants and pushed and prodded and twisted her leg and nothing much happened other than an occassional smile from a ticklish spot. Her foot though...that was a different story. When you pushed on it, you'd get a wince or a loud "ow, ow, ow!" After we decided we'd take the wait and see approach as nothing appeared broken, we put her back on the floor where she tried to run and instead screamed and fell to the floor to crawl. She couldn't quite get it figured out that she just couldn't run yesterday...or jump off the counch.

Luckily, this morning she was gingerly walking on her foot; after I encouraged her to walk and she realized she could. I'll be curious to see how she's acting tonight when I get home. Elizabeth seemed to be soaking in the attention, so she may milk this for a couple more days ;)

Me, the sex-pot consultant

2009-02-02T16:57:00.001-05:00

Well, the state of the state address is tomorrow and we’re all very anxious to hear how two-penny Jenny is going to fix our problems. I’m of the mind that she’s not, yet, again. We’re ready to hear how she’s going to basically squander the 3 billion dollar federal monies that is being given to Michigan all the while more and more people lose their jobs and they layoff state workers or as the rumour may infer they cut our pay by 10%. I figured it out and with the 5% mandatory paycut I took when they moved me to days along with Chuck and I both losing 10% if she does this along with 13% of our income that we pay our sitter, we’ll have lost 38% of our combined household income in just about 3 months. Wonderful, isn’t it?

Why do I bring all this up? I’m thinking of taking on a part-time job as a Pure Romance consultant. It seems like the women I know and talk to are still into going to parties and buying “marital aids”; probably to relieve stress and depression. I have a huge conglomerate of friends that I think would have parties, too. I’ve had a couple of different consultants over the last few years try pretty hardcore to recruit me saying that I’d be an excellent consultant since I know my toys and have a passion for women being open with their sexuality and finding the inner sex-pot even if it’s more tame than mine is.

On top of possibly making some money, I think it’d be so much fun to talk about sex with women as a part-time job. It’s something that I know a bit about and have a lot of fun with. It’d allow me an outlet to be a fun, lively woman and not just mom all the time. You’d think my job with the government would do that, but honestly I come to work and babysit a bunch of old people. It’s not all that much different than being at home, for the most part. Except for the fact that I love my children and only mostly like the people at work.

So, I’m thinking about doing this. There’s a slight start-up charge in order to get the product to showcase at the parties and I’m a little hesistant about that. What do you think? Have you ever done any in-home parties? What’s the pro’s and con’s?

Oh, and btw, I was HEAVILY discouraged against the supervisor position. Why? Because apparently there is some major discourse among the employees and the department manager above that position is HORRIBLE to work for. So, I’m going to pass on that. I don’t need more stress in my life.

Think I need a new career path....

2009-01-28T15:28:00.000-05:00

A position came up today on the state website for an office supervisor 10 within a different department but within the same complex which is so close to our home. After becoming a lead worker, I had said that I never wanted to be a supervisor after seeing all the petty dealings that they dealt with.

However, after being stuck in the middle for so long, having absolutely no control over how we do things, but being expected to fix it all when it goes wrong, I’m sick of being a lead worker and wonder if being a supervisor would give me the chance to make a unit the way I would like a unit to be run.

I’m sick of having someone go along behind me and completely undermine things I do, all the while telling me to my face how wonderful of a job I’m doing. I hate doing the weekly report for my supervisor and getting virtually no credit for it, simply because she doesn’t have the writing skills to be able to write the stupid report. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the work, per se. I just don’t like feeling like I can’t make a difference to have things done in a really constructive, productive way, but then having to answer when it’s not so productive.

So, maybe I would like to be a supervisor. Maybe I would like to deal with the petty stuff so that I can deal with it in a way that doesn’t allow it to continue happening. I think negative and petty begets negative and petty. If we can stop it at the source, maybe we can change things around.

However, after just talking to our analyst, maybe not. She’s higher up than me, and it sounds as if the problem goes up the ladder of management. So I guess I should just be a department head. That would solve all my problems ;)

Reminder! Check your kids' homework!

2009-01-27T08:58:00.002-05:00

This is the letter sent to school with the student the following day:

Dear Mrs. James,

That's NOT me pole dancing onstage in a strip joint!

I work at Home Depot and that's me selling a shovel.

(signed) Mrs. Smith

Okay, I had to laugh out loud at this. I could totally see something like this happening to me...except of course I don't work at Home Depot. This may be one of the reasons why Chuck and I stand over Zachary as he's doing his homework. The other of course is to keep him on track.

Things seem to be going worse again at school. I was hopeful that this wouldn't happen after Christmas break, but little did I know they were going to have a student teacher in the classroom after Christmas. The transition of two different teachers teaching, along with different teaching styles, and adjusting his meds is not making for good school days. But, we're trying. We have another IEP meeting (I've asked for at least 2 since November. I finally got this one when I said that the therapist wanted to be there.) on Friday so I'm hoping that maybe his Dr. can help us talk some sense into the school and help them to understand where Zachary is at.

Wish I had some pictures to show...

2009-01-23T13:58:00.002-05:00

but I'm pretty sure I'd be kicked out of blogger for indecent nudity or child pornography or something.

My daughter has discovered that she can take ALL her clothes off. Honestly, I think it's adorable seeing her little nakey butt running through the hallway. Chuck, on the other hand, doesn't find it at all humourous at our daughter who prefers to be naked.

Although, I don't think she prefers to be naked as much as she prefers to not be in a soiled diaper.

The other day, while Chuck was in the kitchen making dinner and all three kids were playing in the living room, Elizabeth decided that she'd been wet long enough (which in her time is about 2 minutes after she wets) so she stripped off all her clothes and then found a gel pen that the boys had been drawing with and drew all over her arms, face, belly, legs...well, everywhere. I came home to a little girl sitting in her chair at the table covered in purple pen...but at least she had some clothes on at that point.

Then this morning I knew that if I didn't get her out of her bed as soon as she awoke that she'd strip down. So I kept my ears open for sounds of her awakening. I thought I heard something so I peeked into her room. The sight that awaited me made me chuckle. There's my sweet, precious sleeping daughter on her belly and knees with butt in the air. So sweet...I love seeing my kids sleeping. However, this was different. She was literally buck naked. Not a stitch of clothing on her. No blankets, nothing. I snuck back out of the room and a little while later she woke up. I went into her room where she told me "ba" (which loosely translated for her means "potty") as she pointed at her wet bed and "trash" to indicate that her wet diaper that she threw on the floor needed to be thrown away.

I think it's time we potty train this girl. God help me.

I have risen from the dead

2008-11-14T00:06:00.002-05:00

Well, sometimes it feels like it. Life has taken some pretty serious whacks at me lately, and like the Energizer bunny, I just keep going and going and going. But, honestly, I haven't been myself. Hell, I even opted out of Matt's party...because I didn't want to go and sit there while people were having fun and laughing and joking while I felt like I was dying inside. I've been functioning because I *have* to but for no other reason. Mostly, I wanted to lay down and go to sleep for days, weeks, years, until all this chaos and upheaval was over.

Sadly enough, life doesn't work that way. I can't go to sleep indefinitely and if it's not one thing that tumultuous, it's another. If it's not one child, its one of the others.

I've spent the last 2 months wondering when the hammer would drop and something would happen with/to Elizabeth.

But no more.

The dr. has given me what my wonderful husband has coined "happy pills" and I'm feeling more like myself. More than I have felt in years, maybe. It's probably a good thing too because this year has been one of the shittiest years of my entire life. Even more so then the year that Chuck and I had problems.

I am thinking I'll start updating my blog again. However, you won't see many more of these late-night updates. I have, involuntarily, been moved to days as of December 1st. I found out 2 weeks ago and have been trying desperately to find suitable, reliable daycare for Luke and Elizabeth that I trust and feel comfortable with. It couldn't have happened at a worst time for us...but in a way I'm looking forward to having my evenings with my family. I'm looking forward to hanging out with my husband after the kids go to bed for the night. I'm looking forward to having sex whenever I want (well, any night I want). So, even though it was a huge shock and something I hadn't planned on and completely FREAKED out when I was told....I'm okay with it now. Especially now that I have a nanny coming to my house whom I know will be awesome with the kids. That helps me immensely.

I read a quote today and it hit me profoundly: Life is more than just breathing. Real living is made up of moments that take your breath away.

I'm thinking I might start really living again.

The Gods are out to get me....

2008-09-30T21:59:00.003-04:00

Last night, couldn't log into AFEL free agency board.

Tonight, the Mt. Dew was depleted from the vending machine. Not only that, but the vending machine then spit money out at me AND ate 15 cents of mine. So I tried another machine, but didn't have enough money on me. So, when I called and ordered my dinner (yes, I ate out Chuck...wait. I didn't eat OUT Chuck, my punctuation was wrong in that) I told them to bring me a Mt. Dew too. Kill two birds with one stone. BUT they forgot my freaking Mt. Dew.

I'm NOT a woman to be reckoned with today.

I'm horny. Irritated with the school and my OHR. And WITHOUT Mt. Dew.

Other random thoughts:

Chuck and I might be starting a conglomerate blog of “Our experiences with the P-ville School District”. Seriously, we’re so beyond frustrated that sometimes we’ve had to laugh at how incredibly ignorant these people are.

We watched part of “Kite Runner” Sunday night, it was a good movie. Unfortunately, we were both whipped after a whole day of cleaning out/rearranging the garage from hell.

I’m making the kids Halloween costumes this year. They are turning out cute…problem is I’m not sure when I’m going to get the time to sew up Luke’s jedi robe. It’s the biggest part of his costume so I’ve gotta make sure its done by Friday (we go trick-or-treating at a campground). I still need to find a dashiki for Zachary's Zomo costume too.

Chuck and I are listening to Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels. Holy hell, Ranger makes me quiver when he says “Baaabe” Mmmm. He might be on my celebrity list. You know the list of men that you’d have sex with, with your husband’s blessing, if they threw themselves at you. Too bad he’s fictional because *whoo* seriously. Who’s on your top celebrity list?

It's the little things....

2008-09-11T21:37:00.001-04:00

Sometimes amidst life it’s hard to step back and see the impact that you are making on your children. Hard to see the positive influence when dealing with temper tantrums, mouthing back, and attitude.

In the last 3 days though, each of my children have given me reason to reflect on the good things we are imparting on our children and shows me that we are doing right by them.

Two days ago, Zachary had a new classmate join his class. He sat with him at lunch and made him feel welcome because “he doesn’t know anyone else and that would be mean for him to sit alone.” When talking about his day, he told me that tomorrow he wanted to buy two ice creams. I told him that he didn’t need to eat two ice creams for lunch and he informed me that he in fact wanted to buy two not for himself, but one for him and one for his new friend. I teared up and told him how incredibly proud I was of him for thinking of others and being so welcoming.

This morning, I watched my friends little girl while she took the boys to school and stayed to help in the classroom. Gracee at one point got a little teary-eyed over missing her momma. She was standing there, crying big crocodile tears, when Elizabeth went over to her with a washcloth from the laundry and started wiping her face and patting her shoulder. Every time Gracee would whimper, Elizabeth would wipe her eyes for her again. It was so amazingly sweet and showed the enormous amount of empathy that a 16 month old can hold.

Then Lucas got home from school and informed me that tomorrow he’d like to take some food to school. I looked at him quizzically and asked why? He informed me that he wanted to take some boxed food into church to put into the basket because there are people in our world who cannot afford food and need something to eat. So, he’d like to help them and take macaroni and cheese and a bag of peas for them. And more if he can. My heart honestly swelled with emotion for what an amazing child to want to give so generously for people he’s never met and for the right reasons.

So, I’m thankful that we are teaching them such valuable morals and ethics and more so that they are already living it.

So, um, wow.

2008-09-10T19:08:00.003-04:00

Lots of changed since I last logged into blogger to actually blog. There's some new buttons and stuff on the dashboard...at least it looks different to me. But it has been a while.

Life has been chaotic to say the least. I'm feeling stressed at this moment as I type. Maybe that's the reason I decided I needed to sit down and get it out. I'm at work, on my break, wishing I was at home helping Chuck get the kids in the tub and then into beds. Reading their bedtime story to them. Making life easier on the kids as they wouldn't have just one stressed to the max parent all the time, making life easier on Chuck as we could tag team if we start to lose our patience, and ultimately easier on myself.

One more year. That's what I keep trying to remind myself. I don't know if I'll make it. One more year until Luke is in kindergarden and we would only have one child in daycare. One more year until I can attempt to go to days and see Zachary for more than just 25 minutes a day. This is not to mean that I wish for them to grow up. If we could skip ahead one year and not miss anything but keep them the same age....that'd be nice.

School has started for both boys. Lucas is in young 5's at St. Mary Catholic Church. Zachary has started 1st grade at public school. We debated hard putting Zachary into the private school as well (Lucas has to, it's the only way he could go to young 5's every day of the week since he actually falls past the age 5 cut off) but we ultimately decided to work it out at the public schools again this year with the hopes that we could see some positive change in the bureacracy with the new teacher. I've been told before that I'm too naive and this time proves to be no different. So, I'm taking on the district. I spent at least 15 hours on the phone last week speaking to the ISD, child advocate groups, the school principal, and the social worker. Oh, and not to mention calling the Dr.s office and requesting that he complete a report stating in writing what he suggested at our last appointment that Zachary would benefit greatly and truly needs a parapro. I'm happy to say that he did; I guess even a person that you can't stand is helpful in some way.

In completing the report, we also found out that Zachary has been diagnosed as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) as well as ADHD. After our IEP meeting on Monday, the special education director suggested that we may want to have Zachary tested for Aspbergers. She feels that he meets many of the criteria needed to be classified as such. I've always felt that Aspbergers is a concern, as has other Special Ed. Teachers, however, the drs have said that since there is nothing you can take to cure it, why diagnose it?? Just treat the symptoms. So we have been and now we are dealing with the bureaucracy that is known as the school district and coming up into walls. Well, walls built by the teacher anyways. I swear if I hear one more time that won't be feasible in my classroom, I'm going to scream.

All that being said, I?m cautiously optimistic that the Special Ed staff is coming on board with us. And once everything is in his IEP, the school and teacher must comply. Zachary had a good day at school today and yesterday made friends with a new kid. Today he sat with his old friend though because it wouldn't be fair to only play with my new friend." What was left unsaid?? Duh!

Lucas has had some issues of his own and we've switched his school. He seems to do well at his new school and his best friend is there, so it?s helpful that he knows someone. Over the summer (after we pulled him from his previous preschool) he had stopped sleeping in our bed all together. As school approached I kept finding him in my bed when I woke up in the morning. Last night, he was in his bed all night long. So, I'm thinking that he's starting to get adjusted. He's such a great kid.

Elizabeth is my sweet baby girl. Her laugh and smile is contagious and she's learned how to hug and kiss and seems to know when I need those things. I love watching her walk around with her baby doll (OMG, how did I end up with a girly girl?) and giving it to me making smacking sounds indicating that I should give the baby a kiss too. It's too cute. I'm enjoying my morning alone time with her and getting to know her again as an individual, just like I'm enjoying my free afternoon time with Lucas (while E is sleeping). Today he and I read a book or two while sitting on the couch cuddling. It was really nice. I think he only did it though because he?s grounded from all toys. ;)

Some little tidbits and pieces.

I chopped my hair off again today. I told them not to cut it to ?this? point?which is exactly where it ended up. But it's cute. Just hard for me to adjust to hair that doesn?t even come to my chin.

My fantasy Aussie football league is starting another season. My husband keeps trying to talk me into trading my best players to him because then it?d be like we're both winning Crystal division. Riiiight.

Stupid people piss me off. I hate hearing all the Obama rhetoric without them knowing the full story of anything. Well, and that goes either way I guess. I just work for the government and therefore a bunch of Obama-loving liberals. *sigh* Anyway you slice it, people will take one shread of truth and twist it to make it work to their own thinking and then phooey on the rest of the actual facts. Gah. Good reason for me to keep my mouth shut around certain people.

My friend Staci is wonderful. That's all. She helps me so much with everything and I greatly appreciate having a good friend so close to me.

Chuck and I are applying for new jobs. In a new city. Yea, we'll see how that progresses.

Lordy Lordy Look who's FORTY!

2008-08-07T18:52:00.005-04:00

11 years ago, I met a man. He was an arrogant SOB who was funny, smart, and a little demented. I enjoyed his company even if he was 9 years my senior.

We started seeing each other.

Now, at this point I was 20 years old. FORTY was so oooollllllldddd to me. I was firmly entrenched in the belief (because my parents were in their 40's) that people over 40 should not have sex.

Period.

At 40, you're old and that's just nasty and disgusting.

How the hell did 40 creep up on my husband so fast?? I guess that's what happens when you marry someone older than yourself. Ah, well, I've moved my "no sex" age up to 55 now. I think my age will continue to move up as my parents get older. Therefore, I can still continue to have sex with my husband.

Yep. Because now 40 doesn't seem that old.

Happy Birthday Chuck. I love you. You are amazing person, husband and father. I'm so glad to have shared the last 11 years with you.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Remember how I said I wanted to go to days?

2008-07-21T18:42:00.002-04:00

Well, I've changed my mind.

I'm ready to go off the grid.

Stay at home and homeschool my children, no t.v., eating only what we raise or grow, become experts in all areas like medicine, blacksmithing, mechanics, everything.

That's all. More maybe later.

Update...I tried to keep it brief :)

2008-06-23T23:46:00.000-04:00

There are so many, many things that have been happening I’m just going to do an update and overview on my life.

1. The bathroom is in the process of being remodeled. My brother came down and helped Chuck finish tearing it out and then putting the subflooring back in after reinforcing a couple of floor joists. He also replumbed the tub and showerhead because apparently even though you get the same type of shower controls they are NOT interchangeable. That was one weekend. The next weekend, Chuck went to start cutting the holes for the controls and such into the tub surround when we realized that the controls would hit smack dab in the middle of the decorative lip. So, Chuck cut all the pipes out, resoddered them and fit them all back in and they work perfectly now! We got the shower surround up without too much more of an issue and then called around and got estimates to put up the drywall, mud and tape it. While I *can* do this all myself, it takes me a looong time when I can only really work on it on the weekends. So, its worth the $275 to have someone else do that portion of it for us. Well, we got a call from the drywall guys brother yesterday that our drywall guy is unavailable and indisposed to finish the bathroom but that he would be able to come out and add the last coat (um, huh? What about finishing the first coat and the second coat?) and installing the fan/light. Chuck questioned what the heck was going on and our drywall guy got nabbed for a felony domestic and a warrant for unpaid child support. Rock on. Straight up nice dude, right?

However, the bathroom is now coming along nicely and looks better than the original drywall guy was doing it.

2. Zachary has had a horrible week. He’s been incredibly off and I’m sure some of it can be attributed to the change in his routine by not being in school any more. On Thursday of last week, he went off over something incredibly minute in detail and slammed his head into the wall over and over again until he had a huge goose egg on his head. Then after he finished that he took a three tiered toy bin and threw it all into the middle of the room. Saturday wasn’t too much better when he had issues because I said to turn the game off to go get ice cream. Needless to say, he didn’t get ice cream. I’m hoping that this week he starts to pull out of this and adjusts to being at home a bit better….just in time to start summer school and change the routine up again. ;(

3. Elizabeth got her first hair cut. By her brother. Yes, yes, that’s right Lucas decided on Thursday (Thursday wasn’t a very good day in our household) to take a chunk out of Elizabeth’s hair. Luckily (for her and him!) it’s not too bad. Just causes her hair in that spot to stand up when I try to pull it into a pony tail.

I’m thankful though, because it was literally HOURS after going and getting her 1 year old pictures done. Which turned out adorable (like there was any doubt!)! I don’t think that the individual who took the pics felt it was her best one, but it’s PERFECT Elizabeth. It shows her personality so well. I’ll have to scan it and add it in so everyone can see what a gorgeous little girl sh’es becoming. And a flirt, OMG, I’m in for trouble.

4. Lucas Michael, besides cutting his sisters hair, is officially driving us nuts. It’s gotta be the age. And being the middle child probably doesn’t help things. He has some major issues picking up. Never wants to pick up and usually waits until his brother does it all and then he gets to get off the hook. Well, Saturday, I’d had enough. At school, they praise Luke on what a good helper he is, how he always helps pick up, he’s the sweetest boy ever, and on and on. Well, I sent Luke in to do their bedroom and Zachary stayed in the living room and helped me (a lot). There was about 15 minutes of toddler work in their bedroom to get the toys picked up. Do you know how long he was in there? SIX HOURS. Yes, you heard me right. SIX HOURS. Chuck allowed him out to eat breakfast and lunch and then it was back into the bedroom to pick it up. I’m talking like 15 or 20 toys (some little stuff) and a few markers and about 5 articles of clothing. He cried and threw a fit and I told him he was going to stay in there until it was picked up. He may be stubborn, but he ain’t even started to see the stubbornness of his momma. It finally got done, by him, after Daddy promised him that if he cleaned it, he could have back his toys that I took away about 6 months ago. Which included his Light Up Blue Light Saber. It was clean in about 40 minutes…including vacuumed. Obviously, Daddy should be giving the incentives more often. But then again, I only took away so many toys ;)

5. My friend had her baby girl about 4 weeks early. After many complications including Riley’s lungs collapsing, being born with literally no blood, her oxygen level not raising about 20% for almost 3 hours, the uterus rupturing and the placenta detaching and the fact that Riley was passing blood onto the momma and it wasn’t coming back, she is looking on the upswing of things. She’s a little over one week old and is off all the machines except the ventilator and was removed from 5 of her 6 medicines. I just pray that this baby girl keeps fighting and comes home with Mommy and Daddy soon.

So, that’s me in a nutshell. I’m going slightly crazy having all 3 kids with me most of the time and then having an additional 2 kids that I babysit on Fridays but I’m trying to make the most of it and get as much sleep as possible. We’ve got plans to go to a Children’s museum this week, splash pad next week, then a playdate and County Fair the following week….all dependant on little boys’ behavior though. So we shall see….and I won’t be holding my breath.

Summer is here and so are the mohawks!

2008-06-12T00:01:00.003-04:00

So, as promised to Zachary near the beginning of the school year, if he still wanted a mohawk come summer he could have one.

When the discussion of summer school came up his first question was "can I still have a mohawk?"

He didn't forget still. Yesterday was the last day of school.

Today was clipper time.

(That's just colored gel by the way. I am not so cool of a mom that I would let them get their hair permanently dyed.)

And not to be out-done by his brother, Luke requested one for his hair cut too.

I think they are absolutely adorable! Chuck however is an old fuddy duddy and says they look silly.

So, they are happy and feeling way too cool (Luke still has an airbrushed tribal tattoo on his upper arm). I can't wait to show the 'rents. Hehehehe

I'll spare you all the events at my dr.'s for today. I may blog about my idiot dr. tomorrow.

Welcome to the 21st century!

2008-06-10T23:17:00.002-04:00

I JUST ordered cell phones for Chuck and I.

These are the first cell phones we've ever had (I had one for work a long time ago, but it wasn't ours, kwim?)

And we LEAPED into this century with a bluetooth phone for Chuck and a VCAST/1.3 mpx camera phone for me. In PURPLE.

Edit: Well, let's back that train up...it's subject to final credit approval. So we may not get the service anyways. We'll see.

Another one of those "I'm so thankful" posts

2008-06-09T13:35:00.005-04:00

This weekend our area was hit pretty hard by the storms. When I was younger, I LOVED storms. I would stand out with my dad and watch them come in...with the sirens going off and everything before my mom would yell at us all and tell us to get our asses in the basement. I always thought she was a little it of an alarmist at times.

But now that I'm a mom...well, let's just say things have changed.

I think if we had a basement I'd feel a little more comfortable knowing that the kids could be safe, but we don't. And after the tornado of last year I'm even more than a little leary.

It really bothers me being at work because I don't know what's going on. Not that Chuck can't handle the situation himself, but the not knowing kills me (Yes, I have some control issues.) Saturday night when day 2 of storms struck, I was here by myself with Luke and Elizabeth because Chuck and Zachary went to Cedar Point for the day (and had a great time I might add...here's Zachary in line for the Demon Drop. Um, yea. He rode it.). I wasn't nearly as nervous as I was on Friday but I did stay up until 12:15 watching the radar and listening for sirens.

And then it struck again yesterday! But we weren't home...and it didn't hit nearly as bad where we were at.

This round of storms has knocked out power for 31,000 people in our area. Many people in our small town have no power and likely won't until Wednesday. One woman lost her life when the storm kicked up with little warning and knocked her travel trailer over onto her, killing her. Her son is 10 and goes to Zachary's elementary school.

So, while we are having issues with the NEW van not working, the shower still not being finished because of yet another round of problems, more money going out to those two things to help fix, my stupid teeth literally breaking off just sitting here...

at least we have our lives. And our power. And all those close to us are safe and well. For all those things, I am thankful. I'm thankful for these reasons right here...

Interrupt your normally scheduled programming

2008-06-05T20:24:00.002-04:00

to bring you the latest news in my house.

WE HAVE A WORKING TUB!!!

It's been 6 days without a tub/shower in our house and it's fixed. I'm going home tonight and taking a bubble bath I think.

I can't even describe how excited I am.

We now return you to your normally scheduled lives.

My baby is a graduate

2008-06-05T00:02:00.003-04:00

A graduate of kindy that is. It's been a rough week, between not having a bathroom, my van not working and not learning of the kindergarden graduation until Monday night at 8 pm, but tonight went amazingly well.

We started out the evening by everyone taking baths in a storage tub in the kitchen since the boys hadn't had proper baths since last Friday. We couldn't have our graduate walking for his diploma being all grubby!

Then off to an early celebratory dinner at the Top Buffet. I'm so glad our kids love chinese. It's fast, cheap and easy. And it's such a treat for them, especially since they get to serve their own ice cream.

Then onto the school. We dropped him off in his classroom at 5:45 pm and left him to get his "2008" sash on and headed to the gym to take our seats. They handed us a program upon entering the door and we corralled Luke and carried Elizabeth up the bleachers in the gym to find some seats in the center. I perused the program to find out that my son would be in the graduating class of 2020. That just sounds so foreign to me. So far off. But I know it won't be.

They started the graduation march on their little stereo and in march the kids. In pretty much a straight line with a few stragglers, all the kids searching hard for their parents in the huge audience and waving madly when they did. Zachary came out and did the search. And again. And again. Made it to his seat, still looking for us. He knew we were there...we walked him in. I yelled his name. I could read his lips when he said "I HEARD them!" and he finally located us....and jumped up and waved his little arm off.

The principal did the whole speech about thanking all the parents for being such an active part in the kids' lives, blah blah blah.

Then the kids performed a few songs..I like Peanut Butter, the Button Factory and a slew of others. Zachary perfomed so well. Singing and doing all the motions so enthusiatically and really getting into them. And in between times? He sat. No screwing around, just sat and was respectful of those speaking and the situation that he was in. I think he took his graduation very seriously.

There was a really cute, albeit very long, picture slideshow presentation. In which there was a close up shot of Zachary making a funny face. It was just such classic Zachary that it made me smile...through tears. Because the very first song that they used was this one....

This song makes me think of my kids as it is every time I hear it. I have wanted to make a photo montage of them with this song, so to hear it as his graduation song, made me more than a little misty eyed.

As he was standing there at one point, waiting to start singing one of his songs, I saw him as I would an 18 year old. At his high school graduation. It made the breath catch a bit in my lungs to picture him all grown up, a man, ready to face the world. I've had this happen a couple of other times since he started school...and it always hits me like a blow to the chest. A reminder that the days are too short that he will be my little boy. I couldn't help crying. It seems like just yesterday he was Elizabeth's age....learning how to walk, how to talk. No more...he has found his voice for himself.

You can see that for youselves, as he corrects the other kindergarden teacher when she misprounces our name. This video is just so "Zachary".

Congratulations buddy. I love you and am so very, very proud of you.

Photoging

2008-05-30T21:50:00.002-04:00

Never heard that word before until a couple days ago. I don't have any good pics of E recently because she's been under the weather :( Here's why I hate missing t-ball.

Working mom=suckage

2008-05-28T20:18:00.002-04:00

Being a working mom is tough. Not only do you have to balance your time between work and home, you have to balance your time between work, home, soccer matches, t-ball games, banquets, end of the year programs, among a multitude of other extracurricular activities that your kids are in. Now multiply that by 3 (Okay, well 2 for now. Elizabeth isn’t really old enough for extracurricular activities yet, but give her a couple of years).

Working days, you have the evenings “free” (as if as a parent you never have anything to do in the evenings, certainly not mundane things like cooking dinner, mowing the lawn, doing dishes, washing laundry….Nope, those things don’t need doing.) to do those extracurricular activities as most of the time the games or matches are scheduled in the early evenings. Yes, there are field trips and class parties but those are once every few months, or at least in our schools they are.

Not like t-ball and soccer which was 2-3 nights a week for the last 2 weeks and now twice a week through June. Yikes!

When I worked days, I thought “Man! Everything is scheduled for those people that don’t work days.” That was back in the day when a playdate from stay-at-home moms was the highlight of the activity schedule…or maybe a mommy and me class.

Now that I work nights (again) and my kids are older, I feel that I’m missing out on a lot. All their sports and classes and such are at night, well, because most people work days. Nights makes sense.

And now..*sigh*…now, the kids KNOW things. When they were younger, it wasn’t a huge issue if we didn’t hit that weekly playdate. They didn’t know the days of the week, or how to count, or able to really keep track of when things were. Now, they do. And they remind me of these things.

Like tonight.

Zachary told me that tonight was his first “non-practice” for t-ball.

“Non-practice”=1st game.

He then informs me “Momma, I’d really like it if you were there to watch me at my first non-practice.”

Ugh. Rip my heart out, kid, and stomp on it. That might make me feel a bit better. I’ve tried to explain that Momma can’t make it to every game but that’s something they don’t exactly understand yet. And really, neither do I. I should be there for everything. My mom was for me, afterall, right?!?!

STOP. Your mother, Lisa, was a stay at home mom. She didn’t have to try to balance home with personal time at work.

My boss is really understanding of me leaving for an hour or two every night, but I have to use up my personal time. Which is also the time that I have to use for vacation. And long camping weekends. And Christmas off with the family. And I’m not even talking about a day for actual “personal” use! Yea, right, does that even exist for moms?

Well, I did go tonight. And loved it! The boys did a great job, Lucas has quite a throwing arm and Zachary can really catch a piece of that ball! And the looks on their faces when they saw me there was….priceless.

I just feel saddened by the fact that I might miss out on one of my son’s first home runs, or first goal with a goalie, or any multitude of huge things that I could miss out on by not being there.

And the hurt feelings they’ll have knowing that their mom never saw it.

ETA: Don't get me wrong. I feel very lucky to be able to stay home with my kids during the day and be able to not have them in daycare at all. It means that they are always home with a parent, and I like that a lot, but there are days when I wish I didn't have to work at all. Today is one of those days.

I have a problem.

2008-05-23T21:34:00.002-04:00

Please tell me I'm not the only loser out there who like obsessively checks the same 8 blogs over and over again, HOPING they posted something new or a new comment or something.

Gah. I have no life.

Elizabeth's 1 year check-up

2008-05-23T19:12:00.004-04:00

So, today was the fateful day that I took Elizabeth in for her 1 year well-baby check-up.

She passed with flying colors. Like anyone thought she wouldn't. Pshhhaww.

Elizabeth is now 19 lbs and 14 oz and exactly 30 inches tall. She has gone from 10th percentile for weight to 50th and is still hovering at the 75th percentile for height. Her head circumferance shot up from 5th percentile to 50th!!! The dr. figures she just had a major growth spurt (No? Really? Could it possibly be from all the food she keeps eating? Ack. At this rate my kids are going to make me broke by the time they all get into elementary school!)

The doctor did say that it's a little abnormal to grow so much in the head and weight and not in the height, but it's not something she's concerned about in the least as she's still on the same curve for her height, so her other stats are probably just catching up with her.

We went through all the traditional pediatric questions:

Is your house babyproofed? Yes.
Do you have functioning smoke and CO2 detectors? Yes.
Is she sleeping in her own room in a crib? Yes. (most of the time ;))
Is she drinking whole milk in addition to breastfeeding? Yes. (Yes, I am still breastfeeding. Suck an egg if you have something to say about it.)
Is she still in a car seat? Yes. Rear-facing.

Then she asked if she was saying "mama" and "dada" yet. I giggled. It just slipped out. I, being the humble parent that I am *cough, cough* replied "Um, yea! and much more. She has about 20 words right now."

I think the Dr. thought she heard wrong. She repeated it back to me; "20?" Yep. We're just as suprised as anyone considering our boys didn't really speak until they were 2. But she talks All. The. Time. Mama, dada, brother, doggie, milk, ball, down, na-nas (probably the most important one to her...Nursing)....the list goes on. Of course, she only does it in her own time, no one can make her say those things when we want to!

Yesterday, she wanted one of my chocolate mini donuts (this girl lurves chocolate...found that out at her 1st birthday party!) and started spazzing by shaking her head around, shifting from one foot to the other, reaching for them and when I asked "do you want one?" she sat down (hard! Ouch!) on her butt and started shaking her head yes. Over and over until she got one. No screaming. No grunting. It's just so easy to talk with her.

So, all in all, a good appointment. Minus the screaming due to the shots, but even that was short lived. All is well in Elizabeth's world.

Summer Nights

2008-05-22T23:39:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, we get too wrapped up in the day to day trappings of living that we forget to just sit back and enjoy. Or remember. I know I do. Today was a bit of a rough day mentally as I tried to figure out finances (which is never fun for me), so I was listening to some music at work. I threw in some Mellencamp I had since I'm going to be seeing him in July (hooray!) and wanted to start getting pumped. (Yes....I know July is a long way off but I get excited waayyy ahead of time for things...much like my children.)

As I was listening I was hit with a memory. A very good, relaxing memory. One that I should start using as my zen memory.

It was a sweltering hot day in late July. Made even more sweltering by the fact that we were in a vehicle with no air conditioning, on black top surfaces in a traffic jam due to construction surrounded by big rigs in Chicago. Did I mention we had 2 toddlers with us and we were pulling a camper. We were headed into downtown Chicago to see the Sears Tower and eat at Eduardo's for traditional Chicago-style pizza.

We made it in and out with little problem. The pizza was great, the boys were mostly well-behaved, we had ice cream. How can you top ice cream?

We were headed to our campground about an hour from Chicago. The air had finally started to cool down since darkness had fallen around us and you could hear the crickets through the open window along with the rustle of the corn in the fields. We got to the campgrounds and everything looked dead. I read through the phamplet at the front gate, to see how they handle their late arrivals and I'm so glad I did. After closing time (11:00 pm) they put out tire shredders. No one, not even current campers, allowed through the gate with a vehicle after close time.

Okay, so here we are with a camper in the middle of nowhere, late at night, with 2 sleeping children. What do we do?

We keep driving. That year I was working a modified schedule so I was used to being up until 3:30 am or so, therefore, I was wide awake and willing to drive a bit further to find something else. Plus, the boys were sleeping and the air had finally cooled down enough to be comfortable. I took over the wheel, Chuck riding shotgun.

It was one of my favorite nights together ever. The windows were rolled down and you could smell the sweet, balmy, summer air. The boys rhythmic breathing coming from behind us. The radio on really softly, probably listening to Mellencamp. The moon was huge and full on up in the sky lighting our way through the back roads of Illinois. We really didn't know where we were going exactly, just knew we were headed west. Towards Iowa.

Chuck and I talked that night. Like we hadn't talked in a long time. Those summer nights take me back to our summer at camp when we first met and everything was new and exciting. I heard stories that night on those back roads of Illinois that I had, surprisingly, never heard before. I felt relaxed. In love. Happy.

We came up to a four way stop in the middle of cornfield alley, when we saw some lights. It was strange as we hadn't seen any lights for quite a while, save the occassional farm porch lights. Off to the southwest corner of this 4 way was a bar. But not just any bar. A strip bar. Advertising some big name stripper and a sign that said BYOB. Chuck and I just looked at each other. Surely, that didn't mean the same thing as in Michigan.

Yep. It did. Waiting in line...yes there was a line in front of the strip club of the corn....there was a line of dudes sitting on their cases of Bud Light cans. It was the wildest thing I think I've ever seen. We joked about how it's too bad the kids were with us as it would have been a case study on human nature like never before to go into that place.

We drove on. And talked. And just lived and enjoyed each other and the night for all that it was. And before we knew it, it was 3:00 am and we were in Iowa.

Somehow, the lights of the Iowa/Illinois border town, broke the magic of the evening and I was instantly tired. We ended up parking our camper in a hotel parking lot and getting a room to get 4 hours of shut eye before we moved on for the day.

On my Mellencamp nights or those balmy summer nights, I'm reminded of that night in rural Illinois. And reminded how great my life really is to be able to have and remember those moments.

Chaos I tell ya! But dang I have cute kids!

2008-05-08T14:28:00.006-04:00

I’ve been missing. Not just from blog land but from myself too. Things have been crazy and I’ve been bitchy. Those two things don’t really coincide very well and it doesn’t make me in the mood to be blogging. I’ve found I have to be in the right mood to write. Otherwise, it becomes a chore for me and the posts become “forced”. I’ve been informed that that is exactly what happened with my last post, and I don’t feel it was my best letter either. I still have 2 more letters to write. One to Zachary and one to Elizabeth and I will because I like the idea of commemorating each year of their life with a letter from mom to put in their baby books; but I need to be in the mood to do it so I can express all I want to express eloquently.

So why have things been crazy and I’ve been bitchy? Well, we had 5 birthdays within 2 weeks. My birthday is April 28, Luke is May 1, my Dad is May 3, Zachary is May 9 and Elizabeth is May 11. During that time we have one huge birthday party plus Mother’s Day. This year we also had a field trip to the zoo for Zachary’s school.

So for those 2 weeks, I worked a modified schedule. What’s that mean? Well, that means I get virtually NO sleep. Really. I work four 10 hour shifts from 4:30 pm to 3:00 am. Get home and asleep by 4. Up to get the kids off to school by 7:30 at the latest. And since it’s filled with errands and stuff to get ready for the birthday party, usually no naps.

No sleep=bitchy mommy.
(I’m sorry Chuck.)

So, why do I do this to myself? Because we only have one party for all the kids, we want to make sure that THEIR day is special to them. So, I take the evening off of each child's birthday every year so that they can do things that they want to do. Like go to Toys R Us to pick out their birthday toy and choose the sit-down restaurant that they want to go to. Growing up, I always shared a birthday party with my dad, but MY day was MY day. I want to make sure that the kids get to feel special on their birthdays like I did.

So, that being said, we had a birthday party. A big birthday party that was wonderful and completely chaotic at the same time.

Wonderful because we have only one party and I get to make it a big one because well, there is only one! Wonderful because you have three times the fun. Three times the excitement and anticipation. Three times the squeals of delight and the exclamation of “OH! That’s just what I’ve always wanted!” Even though they may have never laid eyes on it before.

However…..

It’s complete chaos! Have you ever tried to have 3 kids’ friends and family together? It’s a lot of kids! And then amidst all that we have 3 kids opening gifts at the same time. It’s a lot of gifts, a lot of wrapping paper, a lot of bags, a lot of noise, and a lot of confusion. Well, confusion for mom and dad anyways. It’s very difficult to keep who got what and from whom straight.

But after all is said and done we survived. Exhausted and seriously ready for a beer after the kids’ bedtimes but we survived (The need for beer was not a direct result from the kids: more along the lines of inconsiderate, rude, mean, irreprehensible ~~bitch~~ party guest that happens to be family. Ugh)

So, without further ado, I present my birthday children. Well, their cakes anyway. I'm VERY proud of Elizabeth's cake. It was my first cake that I decorated all by myself. Without cheating and using the store bought decorations anyway. I love how it turned out and it matched her invitations and her dress. Not that anybody but me noticed ;)

My mom usually makes the cakes for the kids, and true to form, she did again make the boys cakes. She knew it was kinda important for me to make the 1st birthday cake, but she make each of the boys. I was super impressed with how it turned out and the boys were so excited to have Spongebob!!

Zachary sporting his "6" crown that we made from posterboard. Do you have any idea how easy it is to find princess crowns but difficult to find king crowns? The boys were excited with their homemade-by-them crowns regardless.

Lucas in all his 4 year old glory. Getting a good picture from him anymore is like pulling teeth. I think the only reason he looks happy in this picture is because he was finally (Ghod, MOM!) able to eat his cake!The birthday kids together. Elizabeth didn't really know what to think of the candle.She did, however, know what to think of the cake. And she thought, no KNEW, she liked it. Miss E wasn't a very happy camper when I took her chocolate away from her. It must be in the genes she got from her daddy.

So, that's it for yet another year. Whew. I'm glad it only happens once a year.

Happy Birthday Lucas

2008-05-01T19:04:00.001-04:00

Dear Lucas,

4 years and 9 months ago, I had a dream.

The Leibrand family then consisted of Mommy, Daddy and Zachary who was about 1 ½ at the time. On vacation in Wisconsin, Mommy had “the dream”. The dream that told me truer than a pregnancy test could that I was pregnant with another baby. You. Daddy, of course, didn’t believe me, but I knew it.

Two weeks go by and we got the positive test that confirmed my belief. We were expecting another child to add love to our family. (age in pic...16 months)

Over the last 4 years (Wait! FOUR years? How did you become four years old?) you’ve grown into an amazing, bright, vibrant, charismatic boy. You’ve enhanced our family. You bring laughter and joy and love to our family every day; sometimes in small ways and sometimes in a way that bring a giant belly laugh to all those around you. You, Lucas Michael, have a gift. A gift of laughter. A gift to touch those around and make them laugh and appreciate the life they’ve been given. That’s a very important thing; one I’m repeatedly thankful for.

Over the last year you have grown up so much. You started preschool at your 3rd birthday and went to school for the summer with your big brother. The teachers all told me that you were a quiet boy who was a bit of a follower, but you followed directions very well and tried to get along with the others. Then Zachary went onto kindy and you were alone at the preschool. You blossomed there. You made friends. You became your own identity at school. And on the way home from preschool every day for the last 8 months you talk non-stop about everything you learned, heard, and did. You are so incredibly smart. Sometimes it surprises us when you come out with some fact that we're SURE you couldn't possibly know...and yet you do. For 2 months we have heard all about the planets "Did you know that the sun is a star? And that the Earth moves around the sun? And Pluto is the coldest planet because it's the farthest from the sun?"

But, it doesn't end there. You pick up things every where. I remember being in the store with you a few months ago and you picking out the letters of your name off the formula can that you were carrying. I went to school and let them know you could start learning your last name...which you have now. Along with your birthdate, our phone number, the list goes on.

I know we've had a rough year, buddy. You've been usurped as the baby in our family and I know that some of the issues we've been having the last few months is a bit of the "middle child syndrome" coming out. I understand. I remember. I promise to make some special time for just you and I so you can see how truely special you are to me. And what an incredibly important role you play, just by being you!, in our family.

I love you little man,

Momma.

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-04-28T21:45:00.002-04:00

So, today is my 31st birthday. My dad called me this morning and asked if I felt any older. YES! was my emphatic reply. I went out on Saturday night for a friend's bachelorette party and 4 beers and some (okay 10) jello shots later and I was smashed with a killer hangover on Sunday. ALL. DAY. LONG.

It started as a hangover and after sitting at the planetarium with my kids and husband and seeing them spin the stars around faster and faster, and making me want to puke, it turned into a migraine. Which made me want to puke.

I'm too old to do that folks.

So, we move onto today. My birthday. I love my birthday. I'm seriously like a small child counting the days until my birthday. Now, I just do it in my head instead of on paper and tell everyone. But, that ticker is there because it's MY. DAY.

I got my tattoo from my husband for my birthday. Well, probably more correctly is I got a tattoo from me for my birthday and told Chuck not to buy me anything else since it was so expensive.

But, that doesn't mean that I don't want to CELEBRATE my birthday. So, yesterday, when he asks "Do I still have to get you a card and SAY happy birthday tomorrow?" I was a little pissy. And today, when nothing (beyond an e-card) is said...and nothing is done when he comes home to remind the kids to tell me happy birthday and nothing is said about small little gifts from my kids to me or a cake or nothing. I was hurt. Depressed. The weight of the world on my shoulders. I know, I acted like a child, but like I said, I love birthdays.

But, just for the record, I'm a huge BIATCH.

How could I think that my husband, whom I know loves me dearly, could forget me is beyond me. But I was sure he had, so I sulked around for an hour till I had to go to work. Again, childish for sure. I'm not saying I'm proud of my behavior.

But, at 7:00 pm when the staff at my work threw me a little party with cake and ice cream who shows up with flowers from Elizabeth, a massager from Luke and a framed piece of Zachary's artwork and all 3 kids but my husband. With chinese for dinner for me.

*smooches* I heart my husband. Seriously. Truly. Love this man.

Beware. Rants ahead. And a couple bright spots.

2008-04-23T12:23:00.002-04:00

Ugh. I promised Chuck I would blog on my bad days instead of unload it all on him. So here's my unloading on the unsuspecting internet.

First, I started my period for the first time in a couple months. I feel like I'm back in freaking high school with the EXTREME irritability, cramping, back ache, bloating. Ick. Seriously, it's no wonder my parents said I was a complete bitch during high school during my periods. I hate me right now. Plus, I want to eat EVERYTHING in sight. Normally, I have to work to get in 1600 or 1700 calories a day. Yesterday I was easily pushing 2300. Not good for the weight loss.

So, I stayed home from work yesterday. Good thing too as Elizabeth woke up at about 11:50 or so puking her little guts out. Poor thing. She wouldn't even really wake up, just puke and go back to sleep. So her and I dozed in the chair for about 3 hours until she was mostly done being sick. She has a bit of a fever but hasn't thrown up since 3:30 am so I hope we're all done with that mess.

This morning Zachary had a dentist appt for a couple of fillings. So, I go to his school to pick him up, he's in the gym, so I have to walk down there. no biggie...still have some time...then remember I didn't give him his meds. So, we go back home, get his meds and give them to him. It is now 10:28 and we're supposed to be at the dentist at 10:30. Not going to make it. But oh, well, we head out anyway. On the way there, we are stopped by the police. Ugh! Are you kidding me? And I hate it when they ask "where are you going in such a hurry?" Does it matter?!? Are you not going to give me a ticket if I answer correctly?? (FYI: I must have answered correctly because, miraculously, no ticket today! Bright Spot #1)

Get to the dentist and the woman was like "um, you are 1/2 hour late. I don't think the dr. will see you." Okay, I'm kinda pissed now. I just got stopped by the cops which made me even later, but not only that but the last time that Chuck was there, they left him waiting in the waiting room until they were freaking CLOSED and then were like "oh! Sorry, we totally forgot about you. You'll have to reschedule." So, if it's your fault, they reschedule you, if it their fault they reschedule you. I'm so changing dental insurances when it comes time. They seriously suck. So, now we don't have an appt until May 20.

On the way home, 2 people cut me off and an old lady in a grandma mobile slams on her brakes right in front of me. I scream some obscenities (yes, not my most shining moment in front of the children, I'm sure) which she doesn't hear and probably couldn't if I was right next to her anyway.

Also, I saw no less than 3 houses through my drive this morning with fake flowers ALL OVER the outside of their house. WTF is up with that? Seriously? It looks nasty and they are FAKE! Outside! This one house had them intertwined through the posts of their front porch, attached to the house itself and planted everywhere in planters. Eww.

Zachary, Elizabeth and I stopped at a flea market too on the way home since we had so much time considering we didn't see the dr. Zachary found a tape player/recorder he wanted but when she opened it up to show us it played the inside was all rusted out and one of the springs fell off the battery compartment. She was then like "well, I'll sell it to you for $1". No. Thanks. It won't work with the battery compartment like that!! I did however buy a nice, more compact stroller with shade for $10 so that's my deal for the day. I can now sell my big one. (Bright spot #2)

The Schwans man just came (Bright spot #3). I love the Schwans man. I held off from buying the 1/2 gallon of ice cream but I did buy some LiveSmart whole wheat crust BBQ chicken pizzas. They sounded good. Maybe I'll have one for lunch. I'm off to do just that.

Internet Porn

2008-04-22T00:06:00.003-04:00

So, a friend went to see Avenue Q.

Apparently a song reminder her of me. I'm really clueless as to why.

Huh.

Eating Problems and Children

2008-04-21T23:50:00.000-04:00

Chuck and I are trying to start eating better.

The short term goal is to lose some weight, but ultimately the reason for this is to be healthy. Healthy enough that we are able to see our kids give us grandkids and watch those grandkids play and grow up. Possibly have kids of their own.

In doing that, we are counting calories and other macro-nutrients to try to be inline with what is recommended.

And I want the same for my kids. To be healthy. To live healthy.

Tricky thing, that is, because I do NOT want to be the diet nazi. I don’t want my kids afraid to eat things in front of me and take to hiding to eat. I don’t want my kids to gorge themselves on snacks when they are allowed them because they never get them. I don’t want my children growing up with the notion to eat past the point of fullness because we made them clean their plate. I don’t want them to have self-image issues because mom and dad were obsessed with how we looked and constantly discussing “dieting” or “calories”. I don’t want them tying rewards to food or emotions to food.

Why do I know about all those things. Because that’s EXACTLY how I was raised. Those are the issues I have with eating.

And yet, we run into issues. So how do we handle those issues?

Part of the problem is we’ve been lenient with “treats” in the last year. Daddy would go to the store daily for his afternoon Mt. Dew and bring something home for the kids. Usually a Little Debbie or sometimes a candy bar. So, now the kids expect that and throw a gigantic fit if they don’t get it every day. They ask “if we be good, can we”? That goes against everything I believe in. You don’t get food for being good. You get food to live.

Part of the issue is that Zachary is “starving” every night for dinner and bugs constantly, yet doesn’t eat when food is put in front of him and that’s wasteful. I want him to understand that he needs to eat what he asks for. But how to do that without making him clean his plate and eating when he’s not truly hungry? And how do we handle the bedtime “I’m starving” pleas? My suggestion tonight was to allow him to start dishing his own food from the options that are for dinner. Then he needs to eat that food before he gets more. And if not, he can put his plate in the fridge and eat it later. Afterall, some people can’t eat a lot at one time. So, how do we know when he’s hungry at bedtime or when he’s manipulating us? How many times do we tell him to eat his leftovers before it borders on insanity?

I wish that kids came with child-specific instruction manuals.

I feel.....more.

2008-04-20T22:11:00.003-04:00

I waited for 12 years to do this.

I waited for 12 years to know exactly what was right for me. What was perfect and represented me.

Afterall, I didn't want Tweety Bird tattooed on my ass forever. That's not who I am.

But, this. This is perfect for me. It's beautiful and elegant and explains a huge part of who I am.

And I love it.

I got it done on Saturday for my 31st birthday (at the end of the month). It took about 45-50 minutes to do it and it wasn't bad painways except over the spine. That caused a bit of discomfort but I still lived through it.

It's a Celtic Motherhood knot and in traditional celtic knotwork the children are represented by dots inside the knot. I changed that a bit to be hearts...one heart in emerald green for each of my May babies.

I didn't get the piercing...yet. I asked about it but we were on a tight time table so I didn't. Soon though. Especially after the tattoo and the pain/discomfort associated with it. I told Chuck that I like the pain. I like the reminder that it's there. He laughed and said these are the times he's glad he married me. I guess being a pain junky has its advantages.

I've heard that tattoos are addicting and I can see it. The adrenaline rush was amazing. On the way home, I was already thinking what I could get for my next one. But, considering it took 12 years to decide on this...it might take me a while.

Contemplative

2008-04-09T18:55:00.001-04:00

I have a good friend, T, who moved to Florida soon after our children were born last May. Her son and E were born 5 days apart; it was so much fun to be going through pregnancy with a friend and considering we had another friend who delivered a week before E, it was three times the fun. T is still active in our Michigan mom’s group, but she has moved on and made friends in a new mom’s group in Florida. (Traitor. Hehehehe) She asked all us Michiganders for thoughts and prayers today for one of her new friends who lost her 6 month old baby boy from SIDS today.

I felt like I’d been hit in the gut and I don’t even know these people.

I was in a horrible mood earlier today. I blame it on lack of sleep and spring break. But upon reading that, and sending up a prayer for that poor family, I turned my thoughts inward.

I am SO. LUCKY. I had three pretty uneventful, relatively easy pregnancies (comparatively speaking). I have three healthy children. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and the kids. Granted, we deal with some issues with Zachary, but I wouldn’t exchange that for anything if it meant not having my sensitive, sweet, loving child. Overall, I am extremely blessed.

Even Chuck, who is the eternal pessimist said he couldn’t understand how I could be in a such a bad mood; after all, today was a momentous occasion. A first of sorts. Zachary brought me breakfast in bed for the first time. Rice Krispies with Strawberries. And it was very yummy. And yet, I don’t remember if I said “thank you” to him.

And yet, there I sat in a shitty mood, because I was being a referee today and unable to put together a string of coherent thought without being interrupted by whining or hyperactive questioning. Unable to get even 5 minutes to myself.

That family now has eternity to themselves without their little boy. Kinda changes the perspective on things a bit doesn’t it?

So, hug your child today. I know when I get home, I'll be going in and checking on each of them. Giving them a kiss on their cheek and thanking my lucky stars that I get to wake up tomorrow and referree again.

More Socially Acceptable (or Unacceptable) Behavior

2008-04-08T23:54:00.004-04:00

Let me clarify something on the whole Mohawk issue. It’s not a question of IF I’m going to let him have a Mohawk. We’re letting him get a Mohawk for the summer. I don’t have a problem with it at all.

My whole point for the previous post (that Chuck has informed me didn’t come through) is whether I should ~~beat the living shit~~ talk sternly to those people (i.e. my father) who decide they are going to give Zachary a rough time for having it or whether I’m going to let Zachary take the heat for his choice.

Because my father WILL give him a rough time about it.

But, see, I’m not one necessarily to shy away from touchy subjects with my father and most of my family (unless it refers to how they will sometimes make me feel like shit. I don’t typically discuss feelings with them.) I grew up with a father who was extremely overbearing, overprotective and just an all-around jackass (whom I love dearly, mind you.) At the age of 14, he would measure my hair before I left the house to make sure I didn’t get more than 2” cut off. He would make me change my clothes if my shirt bottom touched the top of my jeans and didn’t fall below my beltline as no daughter of his would go out “dressed like a whore”. I wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced.

So, at the age of 17, I pierced my ears. I hid it for all of about 1 day. At 18, I chopped my hair off up to my chin from below my shoulders. Obviously, there was no hiding that. My mom, and more than likely my father (as we’ve never discussed it…he gets embarrassed because I’m too open as I know it’s the ONLY way to shut him up), know about my nipple rings (yes, 2. Although I no longer have one as it migrated out after about 4 years of having it. Ouch!) I’ve been very upfront with my family about getting my tattoo, which my mom doesn’t approve of, but she likes the symbolism behind it. When Chuck and I were dating, I would spend my weekends out there. My mom questioned me one time about how they want me to work/sleep in the cabins with the kids. I explained that I wouldn’t be sleeping in the cabins, but with Chuck. She asked cautiously “on his couch?”, to which I replied “No, Mom, in his bed.” That was the end of that. Then about 7 months later, I let them know that we would be moving in together. Again, not pleased, but they know me well enough to know that it doesn’t matter to me, I’m going to do what I want regardless.

Zachary takes after me in a lot of ways. His stubbornness and tendency towards defiance is 100% me. How did I end up being cursed in having all 3 children Tauruses?!

(Disclaimer: Those that know me really well know that there are things that I don’t advertise about my life. However, if asked, I would more than likely answer any question.)

******************************************************
On the subject of socially unacceptable behavior, we have had our first shoplifting experience with Lucas today.

We went to the Chinese buffet today for lunch (I was absolutely exhausted after moving their entire bedroom around (metal bunkbeds are freaking heavy!) so I asked Chuck if we could do lunch out. Upon paying, Lucas kept asking for a toy. I told him no and figured that was the end of that. As we were piling into the jeep, I noticed he was playing with an orange ring. I asked him where’d he’d gotten that, knowing full well that he had not had that BEFORE we went in. He told us that he’d taken it off the counter. So, Chuck trucked Lucas’s little butt back into the restaurant to return the stolen goods. After returning it and apologizing, the person behind the counter was very nice and let Lucas know it wasn’t a big deal; no worries, honey.

I find that frustrating in some ways. While I don’t necessarily think they should call the cops, it would be nice to have them read the kid the riot act. Letting them know it’s not acceptable, or nice, or something.

Funnily, Zachary was almost his exact same age when he did it and has never done it since. When I trucked Zachary’s little butt into the gas station and made him return his candy and apologize for taking it, with him sobbing the entire time, the gentleman behind the counter did tell Zachary that it wasn’t nice to steal and that some people get the cops called on them for that, but thank you for stepping up and returning it. I loved how that clerk handled it. And Zachary has never done it since.

Let’s hope this is the first and last time for Lucas too.

I love my child...mohawk or no.

2008-04-07T23:57:00.002-04:00

When do you start teaching your child about appropriate behaviors? Maybe appropriate isn’t the word I’m looking for…socially acceptable may be more apt. Appropriate behaviors would include things like not talking about pooping, farting, pissing and burping in front of others. Socially acceptable is things such as having a “normal” hair cut or dressing like others.

Now, obviously, I’m not necessarily one to be preaching the finer points of socially acceptable behavior. What with my couple different piercings, soon to be more, and soon to be a tattoo along with some of my parenting techniques and personal decisions. However, I’m an adult and I’ve accepted the fact that I do this because I choose to do it, fully knowing that I may get ridiculed for my choices. Called names. Pointed at, perhaps. Talked about behind my back in hushed whispers. I’ve experienced these things.

But at what age do you allow that to happen and not say anything?

Zachary wants a Mohawk. Chuck and I talked about it and we said if he still wanted a Mohawk come summer, he could have one. He questioned our decision, of course, considering the fact that another little boy in his class already has a Mohawk. We explained that we don’t find it acceptable attire for a school environment (yes, we do talk to our children this way.)

We also explained that in getting something that is traditionally considered “counter-culture” and not necessarily socially acceptable, he will need to accept negative comments as part of his choice in looking different. Is it right that people talk? No. But we cannot control others opinions of ourselves.

So, in discussing this with a co-worker, I had mentioned how we had explained this to him and prepared him for the comments and probably comments from his own grandpa’s about looking like a punk. She gasped at how they could say that and how I would be chewing them a new one.

I told her I wouldn’t. And I won’t, unless it gets way out of control. Part of having something different is being different. Part of being different is that people will talk smack, whether we want them to or not. And like we told Zachary (and something I still struggle to deal with daily), we cannot control other’s thoughts or opinions of ourselves.

But is it something that you can understand at almost 6 years old? Or will it be emotionally scarring for him? Is this one of those times that my husband talks about when you need to allow the child to make a mistake or a choice, even if a bad one, to learn for himself.

It hurts my mom heart to see my child hurt. Emotionally or physically. Not sure I’m ready for this, but I guess I can’t fight his battles and take on the bad guys forever. Right?

Let's go fly a kite....Up where the sky is bright....

2008-04-06T22:11:00.004-04:00

I feel like my life slips away from me sometimes. I tell the kids "sure, we can fly a kite...maybe tomorrow." And then tomorrow, it rains or something else happens whether it be a sick kid, a bad day with Zachary, forgetfulness from momma and we end up not doing it. It's like our life is full of "tomorrow's".

I think some of that is the curse of essentially being a single parent for the week. With Chuck and I working opposite shifts, it's just not as easy to get dinner done AND play with the kids. There is no one else there to do it, so either you get the chores done OR you play. And sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed with everything, I don't know where to start, what to do, so I do nothing.

I've been really examining my life over the last week. I've been offered something that will take up my time at home, but in the long run, may help our home situation. I am totally intrigued because it would be something for me...I'd be using my brain. Challenging myself again. Something I don't get at my work.

But, I've been concerned about the time it will take away from my family. Even if only for a year that times would be rough, I don't want to look back and think that I lost a year of time with my kids. Enjoying my kids. Playing with my kids.

So, I've decided that in order to do things, I need to schedule things. I have a Franklin Covey planner which I used to use religiously, BC (before children), but haven't since because I didn't feel I needed it. Well, I think I was wrong. I let time get away from me too often thinking "well, I have all afternoon for that" when in truth I don't. I have a billion things that need to be done and by letting things slip away, I get furthur behind and don't make that time for myself.

So, I've decided I need to start scheduling things. Not just for me, but for the kids too. So I don't forget that I promised them that I'd play Chutes and Ladders tomorrow morning or fly a kite over the weekend. But, also, so I can start to fit in my exercise, eating right, newly acquired non-profit work, work, time with Chuck, taking the kids to the park. and chores. Whew. It's going to be a very full Franklin Covey. Obviously, its going to be very fluid as there will always be unexpecteds (isn't there ALWAYS unexpecteds with kids?!) but I'm hoping it will help me become more organized and find a way to fit everything and everyone I love in. Without becoming a raging bitch.

So, in the spirit of my newly worked out ways of organization, we had a great weekend. My house is somewhat picked up (NOT in any way perfect, mind you...there is lots of clutter spots that need to be taken care of) and we enjoyed some "firsts" with the kids.

On Saturday, we traveled to visit a friend and try out the boys' rocket that they got for Christmas. We went to a park and Elizabeth got to try out her very first swing! She very much enjoyed it. I love hearing her laugh. And for the record, the rocket was extremely anti-climatic. 6 inches isn't enough to satisfy anyone.This evening, the boys wanted to try out there new kites that they got for Easter. They have gotten numerous kites before, but we've never made the time to fly them. So, we made the time tonight. Unfortunately, I was at home with Elizabeth making dinner, but they boys had a great time. Zachary was very excited to have gotten his kite up all by himself!

And just one more picture, just because. Because he supports me and gives me the opportunity to do something for myself. Because I love him with everything I have.

Imported Chocolate? Yessireebob!

2008-04-03T21:59:00.002-04:00

I know I have mentioned at least a couple different times how much I enjoy reading Angella.

Well, let me tell you why I mention that now.

She is ~~bribing~~ encouraging people to leave comments for her by promising a drawing of Canadian chocolate that is shipped right to your door. And the comments are rolling in! If she gets more than 150 comments, Angella has promised 2 drawings. What a gal!

I know that some of us over at the Artichoke are working to eat healthier, but if I can win, I could hold off to eat the chocolate until the 30 days is up, right?

Things I've learned today

2008-04-02T19:46:00.001-04:00

Matt can make anyone believe just about anything.

Thinking about your future and other deep things is absolutely futile when there are 3 children around.

When you are basically a single mom every day, there are ALWAYS 3 kids around.

Old men can turn into extremely rude assholes when they are waiting in line for gas that is 38 cents cheaper than anywhere else in town.

I do not enjoy being screamed at and called a bitch when I wasn’t being one.

I absolutely HATE being referred to as m’am.

In looking up clichés, I found one I’ve never heard of but must use sometime: Like a boy scout troop in an Argentine brothel. (meaning: In the manner of a person who finds themselves in a situation ripe with wondrously depraved possibilities.)

I like situations that are filled with depraved possibilities. I don’t find myself in enough of them.

I need to stop emotionally eating, after I finish my ice cream. (Okay, so I didn’t learn that TODAY, but I reiterated it to myself today.)

Mom, DON'T read this!

2008-03-27T18:47:00.000-04:00

So, when I started this blog, I had said I was a lot of things wrapped up into one. A daughter, a mother, a wife, an employee, but that sometimes I miss knowing or being just “Lisa”. I do have a person inside there somewhere. I’m bound and determined to let that person come through more often.

And there has been something I have wanted to do for myself for a very long time. Actually two somethings. Not for anyone else, but me. To express who I am.

And the countdown has now become until I do those things. For my birthday next month, I am getting inked. I was supposed to do it for my 30th birthday, but ended up pregnant somehow (hmmm, Chuck’s birthday present has screwed up my birthday 3 times now!) I have researched and found what I want, but I need to draw it up and find out how much it’ll cost so Chuck can plan enough money for it since he’s getting it for me for my birthday present. Yes, he is. I told him so! I’m excited. I’m a little nervous too. I’ve watched 3 people now get inked and while it was very cool, it was THEM experiencing the pain. But I guess after having 3 kids, and one of them being au natural, I figure I could probably handle the pain.

As far as placement, I’m getting a tramp stamp. It’s perfect for me! I think that placement is super sexy and if I want to show someone I can pretty easily, but no one has to see it if I don’t want them to. It’ll be a celtic motherhood knot with an emerald heart to represent each child.

The other thing that I’m planning on getting done is something that no one else will probably ever see. And unlike the ink, I’m not necessarily planning on showing it off. I’m going to get a VCH piercing.

A what?

Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing. I was considering getting a clitoral piercing, but I think I’m just too chicken. Plus, everything I’ve read about it says that not everyone is anatomically suited for that type of piercing. So I think I’m going to do the VCH instead. I’m excited. I’m more than a little nervous about the pain, but it’s also something that isn’t exactly foreign to me, so I will probably do okay. I’m planning on getting that done the same night as I get my new ink. Probably afterwards, so that my endorphins are already flowing and I’m not quite as freaked out. ;)

So, yay! I’m doing something for myself. I realize a lot of moms probably go to a day at the spa for their personal time, but hey, I never claimed to be normal.

Where everybody knows your name....

2008-03-26T15:31:00.005-04:00

Remember "Cheers"??? What a great show. The whole theme was to have a place that is yours. A place that upon walking in they yell "Norm!" or whatever your name happens to be. This place would be a haven from work, spouses, mothers and all your friends would be there to have a drink with.

I always wanted a place like that. But never in a million years did I think that place would be the emergency room.

And it looks as if we are well on our way to having that "LISA!" experience there; all thanks to Lucas. After one experience last Thursday and then the staples from 2 Christmases ago, this kid is going to put me in an early grave, I swear he will.

Chuck calls me at work at 8:20 or so last night. I wasn't at my desk, so my supervisor comes looking for me in the building as Chuck said it was an emergency. Great. Freak me out right away. So I call home and Lucas, instead of sleeping like he was supposed to be, decided it would be a great time to eat one of the Magnetix balls.

Yes, those little magnetic toys that had been recalled. I didn't worry about sending them in, or throwing them away, as my kids are almost 4 and 6....they know better than putting toys in their mouths.

I was apparently mistaken.

So, Chuck feels that it's probably best that we take Luke to the ER. As Chuck has to get up at 5 am and I'm used to working until 1 am, I take him. We had a wonderful time together. We colored. We cuddled. We watched t.v. We talked about whales and blow holes and how a whale would reach to the street if put in his school. At one point I asked Luke: "Are you doing stuff just soo that you can have alone time with mommy and daddy? Because, I'm really not hip on coming to the ER to do that." He replied: "Yup."

So, after an x-ray to confirm that there is truely only one in there and that it is indeed a round one, they basically sent us on our way with instructions to increase his liquids in an effort to help it through faster, watch for puking or severe abdominal pain, and follow up with an x-ray in 48 hours with our regular pediatrician. Check, check, check.

The Easter Bunny has come and gone

2008-03-24T10:48:00.002-04:00

I love holidays. I love seeing the excitement of the boys and now Elizabeth. Because let me tell you what, she was excited when she found jelly bean shaped eggs that were meant for her left on the floor by the Easter Bunny.

Our festivities usually start on Saturday when we color our Easter eggs. This year, E was sleeping during it, so she'll get her first egg coloring session next year. Zachary shows his intensity while drawing on an egg before dipping it in colors.

Lucas studies his handwork.

Zachary is telling Lucas "You better not!!" This is just such a typical interchange between these two. I love this pic because of that. (And yes, those are still Christmas trees on our cupboard doors. Yes, I need to take them down.)

Our finished product. They were gorgeous colors this year after using neon gel food colors and 1 tsp of vinegar.

Easter Morning. Miss Elizabeth finds out that the eggs are filled with fruit puffs and she's hooked!

Zachary got excited over the jelly beans inside some of the eggs.
Lucas playing with his ferraris that were inside a couple of his eggs. (I just love his face in this pic...he always plays so intensely!)

The chocolate is already almost gone. But today the boys' decided that Daddy should have some Ferrero Rocheres since the Easter Bunny forgot him. So, it'll be a few more days until we're candy free again.

Walking, schooling and just plain adorable-ness

2008-03-20T23:59:00.002-04:00

The last couple days has been so event filled, I don't know how I contain myself. And yet, my blog yesterday was about the bad thing that happened and not the several good things that happened! So I'm rectifying that today.

Elizabeth took her first unassisted steps yesterday!! Yippee!! I have a walker!

Wait. Why am I saying Yippee? Shouldn't I be filled with dread? I mean, I have 2 older kids and I remember what it means when they start walking. They start getting into more trouble. They can now get into things that were a little more off limits before. And walking leads to running. Running away from mommy in near-death experiences like the parking lot at Walmart. Okay, remind me again why I was so excited and encouraging this?

Oh yea. Because it's so cute to watch her take her first steps! It's amazing to see those "firsts" and watch them light up as they accomplish something new. So, I'll take those other things to watch that.

I also had Zachary's parent-teacher conferences yesterday. His teacher couldn't say enough about how much more mature Zachary is now than he was at the beginning of the year. She said she doesn't have to speak to him, well, ever now. He's on top of things and getting along with the other kids for the most part, so things are good in that area! Yay!!

However, they did do some testing for all the students. One of those tests was for word fluency (or something similar to that) which is basically sounding out 3 letter words. Zachary tested "at risk" in that category. So, even though he is at or above in every other category he has qualified for summer school. The teacher expressed her dismay at those scores because, in her words "he is definitely not near the bottom of the class". I explained how I have difficulty with him in that very skill. I believe that it's not that he can't do it...but instead won't. He is too impatient to figure it out, so he'll start guessing by using the context of the pictures, other words, what have you. I also let her know that I'm 100% not against year round schooling, especially for him. Routine is such a major component of his behavior that I've been concerned about him having 3 months off and how long it would take him to adjust (more than likely a month or more) just to turn around and go back to school, and adjust all over again (for a couple months, I'm sure!). So, we may be sending him to summer school and I consider that a good thing.

Lucas Michael. Oh, that boy is adorable. He's getting absolutely rave reviews from school. He's had a wonderful day every day this week and today the preschool teacher told me that they were impressed with how much knowledge he has and is retaining about the planets. It's no surprise to me...they've always interested him so he's spouting off something completely out of the blue all the time. Yesterday, we were sitting there watching t.v. and he looks at me and says "Pluto is the coldest of all the planets." It's like these facts are just swimming around in there, being brought up to the surface more often than not.

Today, however, he fell off a swing in the backyard and bit the skin under his bottom lip open. Chuck took him to ER (it was gaping...and in the spot its at, you can't easily use a butterfly bandage or anything) and they didn't feel it was necessary to put in stitches. But, if it's looking infected bring him back in. Wonderful. He won't leave it alone either so it keeps re-opening. He'll have a killer scar to show the chicks and impress them when he's a little older ;)

I should go to jail

2008-03-19T12:12:00.002-04:00

According to all accounts from some mothers, I should be in jail for child endangerment.

This is all based on the assumption that these things are severely endangering your child:

1. Leaving your children in the car within sight a very short distance away for less then 5 minutes, locked, in a small sleepy town.

2. Allowing children to be babysat by a teenage couple.

3. Allow said teenage couple, or any teenager, or any person not the parents, to drive my children in a vehicle.

4. Allowing children to stay a 24 hour period with anyone other than mom or dad.

5. Allowing the older children to play outside, without the parent being there, in a sleepy little town, in a fenced in backyard.

6. Allowing the older children to cross our road (that like 2 cars an hour may go down) to get the mail. While being watched out the window or from the front yard.

7. Considering sending my children to camp overnight before they are 18.

8. Allowing the children to use the stove (supervised) or the microwave (unsupervised).

9. Allowing a young child to test their boundaries in a indoor playground by trying out the "big kid" tubes.

10. Allowing a toddler to walk down the steps by themselves without sitting on their butt.

But, sorry I don't feel that any of them are severely endangering my children. I think some of it is allowing them to grow up. I think some of them are teaching them how to be self-sufficient. I think some of them are giving them some respect for their abilities.

And to threaten to call the cops on me? And then suggest that I would leave a 3 and 5 year old ALONE at the house, for any amount of time, is offensive.

I love my children. I do what I feel is best for them in all circumstances. And I'm sorry you don't agree. But I don't agree with things in others lives, either.

So unless you see me beating my child down with a club, stay the hell out of how I raise my kids.

I'm no Martha Stewart...

2008-03-17T11:20:00.004-04:00

But dang I like to create in the kitchen!!

It's Easter time and in my house that means chocolate. (Well, not just chocolate. It also means the Resurrection of Christ but considering this post is about me being in the kitchen I didn't feel that was relevant. Anyhoo....)

Growing up my parents didn't have a lot of money. So, my mom made all our Easter candy. She bought large bags of candy melts and used molds to create some fun looking yummy chocolate treasures for our Easter baskets on Easter morning. Not only did she make molded chocolate, but also birds' nests. (Chocolate melted with coconut and then jelly beans pressed in for eggs. Let cool and harden and voila! Birds nests!)

There are some things I look back fondly on in my childhood. Homemade Easter candy is definitely one of them. And when I got older and realized that the Easter bunny was actually my mom....I started helping make the candy. And eventually when Mom opened her store, I made all the candy for our families.

So, when Zachary was a baby my mom handed the Easter molds down to me. It has now become my family's tradition as well. Chuck never really looks forward to this time because I tend to wait till the last moment and then get ~~bitchy~~ stressed, but I really do enjoy it. I enjoy creating something and being able to give that to my loved ones. And carry on the tradition from my childhood that I loved so much.

Last year was the first year in a long time that our molds weren't put to use. Being pregnant with Elizabeth and being ~~ready to die~~ uncomfortable, Chuck and I both felt it wouldn't be a good year to try to keep up with the tradition. But, no worries, I'm back to it this year!

I already have 3 big bunnies done, some candies, and all my birds nests. Tomorrow I'm running to the store for some peanut butter and mint candy melts to make more little candies and then add some jelly beans to their baskets and the kids are done. With candy anyway. The Easter bunny also brings little trinkets as well.

I've also got a little creative for a couple of my friends' birthdays and created a Strawberry and Chocolate tart. It turned out beautifully and I was so proud of my creation. Not only did it look cool, but it tasted fantastic!! "And that's a good thing."

Zachary and Dentists and Doctors, OH MY!

2008-03-11T21:47:00.003-04:00

1Yesterday was a very full day. Remember back a month ago, when I spoke of being the world's worst mother because of my son's totally decayed tooth? Well, yesterday was our appointment to fix said tooth. We went in a month ago and found out that it needed work on it (no shit, Sherlock!) and the dentist at that appointment had the worst chairside manner of any dentist I've ever seen. But I won't get into that because what's past is past. This dentist we saw yesterday was wonderful. He doted on Elizabeth (who tagged along with us for the ride), he was super gentle and patient with Zachary, and explained things to me. What more to ask for!?

So, after the filling is done the dentist explains that he had to drill into the baby root as well. The infection had spread that far. Yes, my poor boy had a root canal at 5 1/2. They put medicine in his tooth and then some more on a cotton ball and made him bite down for about 15 minutes to help kill off that nasty infection before packing the root and then eventually filling the tooth. Zachary was a trooper through the whole thing and only jumped and kinda protested while he was getting the novacaine shots in his gums. He was quite enthralled with the small amount of blood on his dental bib though!

After the dentist, we waited for daddy to get home from work then headed off to the psych appointment. We need to find a new psych before I stab this one in the eyes with a dull spoon. He is patronizing to the nth degree. Last appointment he was generally the same way, but I thought "hey, let's give him a shot...maybe I"m having a bad day". Well 2 strikes and you're out with me; especially when it involves my children and their care. Dr. would only half listen to my answers before making little comments to Chuck about "eh, that's just a mom right?" Um, excuse me? Are you trying to pit my husband against me? Maybe not that extreme but I do feel he was completely belittling me because I'm a woman. And that does not fly with me in any way, shape or form.

Dr. Moron then espoused his general disgust for the fact that Chuck and I work seperate shifts. His take on the whole thing...and I'm not necessarily begrudging him this because I do feel it would be best...is for Chuck and I be home together every night. It would be the best for Zachary's well-being to have our family together daily. So, after about 5 minutes of that I was getting a little heated and asked "so, would it be better for the children to be in daycare for 9 or 10 hours a day, or at least have one parent at home with them?" He quickly said "oh, well, you never want the children out of the house for more than 8 hours. And definitely a parent is always better for the child than a secondary caregiver." Okay. So let's backtrack. We're bad because we're not home together. But we'd be bad if we used daycare, too. Hmmm, that adds up to me that I should be in the house at all times. Isn't that what that sounds like? And while that would be ideal, it's not reality. So why does the dr. harp on it?

I also expressed some concern about Zachary's bed wetting. At 5 years old, he still bed wets almost nightly. Before the meds started in October, he was wetting nightly. He still wore overnights to bed. After he started the meds, that stopped and he was dry at night time for almost 2- 2 1/2 months. When we started seeing a downward trend in his behavior again, we also noticed the bed wetting coming back. I've been keeping a journal of all the days activities, how he behaves, what problems we have, and it seems that there is a connection between his bad days and his bed wetting. Dr. Moron states: "He's doing it intentionally. He should be able to not wet the bed at this age. You need to punish him". Eeek. PUNISH HIM? He said he can't seperate that it's a bad behavior if we don't punish him and make it known that it's not okay with us. Both Chuck and I were completely taken aback by this. Everything we've read says do not punish for potty accidents. So, Chuck asked if he was meaning something like changing his sheets. "yes! Changing his sheets is a good thing for him to do. It lets him know it's not okay. Or adding in extra chores."

Okay, this guy doesn't know us from Adam. But, I get that his assumption is that we allow Zachary to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and isn't made to do anything. Um, no. Zachary does daily chores. He helps with laundry, he makes his bed, he changes his sheets, he cleans up his toys, he feeds the dog, he picks up the living room, takes out the trash. I'm sure I could go on. Is that an every day occurance? No, not neccessarily all of them, but he is asked and expected to do things around the house.

But, back on the topic of bed wetting. I bring up the fact that my younger brother wet the bed until 14 and so did 2 of my uncles and I had the understanding that it can also be genetic. He said "well, Zachary is just controlling you". Okay, at this point I was fuming and trying to talk myself out of gouging his eyes out with a spoon.

So, last night I did a little online research. Everything I read, from reputable sources like the American Academy of Physicians, says that children do not wet the bed intentionally or to anger their parents. Hmm. Wonder where this guy got his degree from.

He did bring up something interesting though. He asked if Zachary had been tested for Aspergers. This peaks my interest. It's always something I've been really curious about because from the reading I've done and the tests that I've been given, it seems a really likely diagnosis. But I don't know if the 1st dr. ever fully tested for that...if you can even. But then, Dr. Moron went on quickly to explain he doesn't change diagnoses anyways. Why bring it up if you're not willing to do something about it? Just one more strike in my book.

So, off to research new doctors. Again.